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Beginner May 2021 Ontario

Bridesmaid weight woes

K, on August 24, 2020 at 07:55 Posted in Wedding fashion 0 3

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Hi all!

I postponed my wedding to 2021 long before COVID was around, but now I am trying to scramble to get things done while the economy is somewhat open/before a possible second wave and shut down hits. My wedding is May 2021.

I have 3 lovely bridesmaids that I adore very much. But one in particular is causing me a bit of anxiety because she refuses to buy her bridesmaid dress right now because she claims she is "losing a lot of weight", and then it was "I may get pregnant", and now this morning when I asked her about getting the dress she gave me the weight argument again. I am trying to be understanding, but I am also worried about her not getting her dress ordered because we dont know what will happen in the coming months. My thoughts were that the bridesmaids have to get the dress altered for length anyway, so why is it a big deal to get the dress taken in if someone loses weight? I just want to ensure everyone has their dresses. My other bridesmaids are understanding my logic and have ordered their dresses.
I also think this may stem from my bridesmaid's own cancelled wedding. She was to marry a few months ago and had to cancel her destination wedding, and I understand that she has a lot of feelings about it. I have asked her about her plans for her wedding but she flip flops between "I'm not getting married anymore" or "I dont know what is happening with mine".
My question is....how much do I cater to my bridesmaid and her flip-flop attitude? I do not feel I am being unreasonable in wanting the dresses ordered by the end of this month (an expectation I made clear months ago and she was fighting me on her "incredible weight loss" back then. She is not a big girl at all but she has been eating organic/raw foods for 6 months now)
I spoke with my wedding dress tailor last week about this and she agrees with me that I should be getting the bridesmaids' dresses ordered now.
How do I handle a bridesmaid who argues the important decisions with me?

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Latest activity by Geneviève, on August 24, 2020 at 11:16

VIP September 2020 Ontario
Geneviève · On August 24, 2020 at 11:16
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You could just approach it as “I know we talked dress and budgeting 2 years ago, but I wanted to be sure we were still on the same page and nothing has changed for you financially. Is everything ok?” That will hopefully get her to open up as to why she wants an off-the-rack gown (my guess is that there have been financial changes because hemming a dress is cheap to do at a mall tailor whereas alterations aren’t) and why there’s so much hesitation involved. Unfortunately you can’t make her buy something or tell you what’s going on but fostering an open environment may encourage her to work with you.
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Beginner May 2021 Ontario
K · On August 24, 2020 at 10:34
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Hello! Thanks for taking the time to reply. I have had money discussions with her 2 years ago when I asked her to be my bridesmaid, and she agreed with the dress budget we set out. But it seems like she thinks she can get away with buying a perfectly fitted dress off the rack, and it isnt reasonable. The dress length has to be taken up at any size she buys...so I said that taking the dress in isnt a big deal if she does drop a dress size. She has lost a little bit of weight, but every time I mention the dress she makes it sound like she loses 10 pounds a week. That isn't accurate. So I'm unsure how to approach her again on this topic because it is upsetting for both of us. I am already stressed out because I'm battling displaced 2020 brides for all sorts of services and appointments.
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VIP September 2020 Ontario
Geneviève · On August 24, 2020 at 10:26
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Hi Anne!
Those situations can be difficult, especially if her own wedding was cancelled since it’s likely a whirlwind of emotions for her too.
I’d have a sit down talk with her to hash everything out. What you’re asking isn’t unreasonable because a dress can always be altered down. If she’s planning on losing less than 3 sizes, major alterations like recurring can be avoided. It could be that she’s waffling because she doesn’t know that or because she’s worried about alteration costs. You’re best to talk it out with her because if she’s being totally unreasonable, she may not be a good fit for her bridesmaid role. Better to find that out now rather than later
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