Bridesmaid Troubles

I had a situation where I needed to tell one of my bridesmaids that I thought it was best that she no longer participate in my wedding party but is still invited to the wedding. There was some drama that occurred and it was very petty nonsense and I just had to tell her that it was unacceptable. She understood and was fine with it. Will everyone be? depends on the situation.

If she's had this long to get her dress and she hasn't even looked into getting a dress yet it kind of sounds like she isn't excited to be in the wedding party. You need people beside you that are willing to put in the effort.

This is always a really hard situation to be in. I lucked out in the fact that all my girls could go shopping on the same day and all ordered their dresses that day.

All you can do is be honest with her. You can explain that you have a schedule to stick to and you have enough stress without having her procrastinating and adding to your stress. Like everyone said, feelings will be hurt, but ultimately your bridesmaids are supposed to help you with the planning and not make you more stressed

I agree with Tori on this one! What I did was make a day went with them and they were to pay then and told them that, if they couldn't they had till this date to pay to have it ordered in time. If they weren't ordered by then, they would have to attend as guest.

Sorry this is happening to you Chelsea. Does she still have time do get a dress? If not then I would call her and just say that due to her lack of dress that she will have to forfeit her position as a bridesmaid. She should know how important this is to you and she should understand the responsibilities of being a part of your wedding. Is she having a hard time finding something that she thinks you would like and her being indecisive is causing the problem, is she not grasping the theme and that is delaying her dress selection. Keep us posted.

Buying the dress is such a small, but big task for being in the wedding party. If she can't get the dress, how is she going to be day-of?

As mentioned already, if there's still time to buy, give her a hard deadline (i.e. by next Wednesday) to order it or she's out of the party. It sounds like there is no time so I would word it something like Meghan did: since her dress has not yet been purchased unfortunately she will not have it in time for the wedding and therefore cannot partake (due to lack of wedding party attire).

She has had a lot of time to order the dress and it is kind of rude that she has not done so yet- you have asked her to be a part of a massive day for you, she should understand what that means and just how big of a deal that is. You are not being demanding or unreasonable, and you have given her plenty of time to complete this simple request.

Like Tori said, if you have the time left- say she has until Sunday or something and after that unfortunately she will have to attend as a guest.

If you don't have time left for her to get the dress, maybe just explain to her that to be able to stick to the time line in the run up to the wedding, certain things (like bridesmaids having their dresses by x date) need to be kept on schedule and unfortunately since her dress has not yet been purchased unfortunately she will not have it in time for the wedding and therefore cannot partake (due to lack of wedding party attire lol)

I know its hard, and these conversations are never easy but just remember you gave her PLENTY of time to look at/order a dress, and you reminded her about it. She is the one who dropped the ball. Planning a wedding is a LOT of work and there are SO many little things you as a bride have to think/worry about....this should not be one of them.

I am sorry you are in this situation

Ah Chelsea, I'm sorry you're in this situation. If you're dead set on removing her from your bridal party, I'd be honest with her and tell her that you think she'd be better suited as a guest at your wedding. That way she won't have any obligations and/or responsibilities. Feelings are going to get hurt no matter what, but remember that it is this unreliable bridesmaid who set the tone and precedent for these actions.

Hmmm, not going to lie - that was one of the first things I told my girls! If they weren't able to pick a dress and have it ordered in time (they still have until April 15th though) then they were out of the wedding party. I want same exact colour and material so... I've said it numerous times either buy it or buy a guest dress because you're outta there!

As for how to handle it now - is there any time left to buy at all? If there is even just one last week then perhaps let her know right now that if she doesn't have one ordered by Sunday evening she won't be in the party. If there is no time at all... then maybe it's time to have a sit-down and try explaining it as the reason being she clearly doesn't have the time and that's fine, but you need people that can be there for you on your big day and prior to it and she can't even be there to buy a dress. No hard feelings, but you for sure have to do this in person.