I have 5 bridesmaids and chose (with their feedback) a Vera Wang bridesmaid dress from David’s Bridal for them for the wedding.
If you haven’t heard, DB is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy BUT they claim business will continue to run as scheduled, orders will not be affected, and their stores will continue to remain open. Luckily, 2/5 of the BM have received their dresses, 2 are on rush order but one of my BM hasn’t ordered.
My wedding is August 3, 2019 so there is plenty of time to get the dress but with this looming bankruptcy, I am skeptical the stores will remain open which is why I put a rush on the dresses that haven’t arrived. I cannot find any other store that sells this particular BM dress either. This is why I was in a rush to get these remaining dresses.
One of my BM has been really MIA since I’ve ‘proposed’ to her. It took her two months to confirm she received my proposal gift. She claimed she hadn’t checked the mail.... for two months?
She doesn’t answer my calls, won’t return my texts for on average 2 weeks (not exaggerating). Initially, I was worried about her. Is she OK, is everything OK in her life, what is going on? So I left a heartfelt message telling her, I DK about anything wedding-related, I want to know how you are doing and I’m worried you bc we haven’t spoke. Weeks later she responded LOL, all good, just busy!
So then I thought, maybe she is having second thoughts on being a BM. I tried to call, no answer so I text saying, “I know how busy you are and how hectic life can get. I also know how much of a financial and time commitment being a BM can be. I want you to know the most important thing is for you to have fun and enjoy yourself on the wedding day. I just want my friend alongside me to celebrate, whether it’s as a guest or a BM, it’s up to you. I love you and I’ll be honored to have you with me at my wedding regardless of the role”. 10 days later, she responded, “YES, of course”.
Now to the dress situation. She’s the only one left to order her dress. I did ask the BM to have them ordered by Nov. 15 (suggested by my planner). I called her, left messages and text - NOT about the dress, just to connect and chat.
Anyways, after explaining the bankruptcy situation and that I’ve been speaking to DB managers. I told her I have her dress on hold at the warehouse, I can have it rush ordered and have the shipping costs waivered IF she orders it in 48 hrs (they will only hold the dress for that long at the distribution center).
I offered to pay for it on my cc for the time being. I know I have protection on my cc if the company went under and we didn’t receive the dress. But she didn’t get back to me with her new address to delivery or confirming her size.
The 48hr hold is over and that’s alright. I feel like I did my part. I called her twice, text her offering to pay and I didn’t get a response. She ignored my call (one ring then to voicemail).
Im not mad about the dress, either she has it or she doesn’t, that’s alright. I’m so hurt by her actions as a friend. I wouldn’t treat a friend like that. When I reached out to her, it was to talk and catch up, not wedding related (except recently). We have a group chat with all BM and MOH so anything wedding-related is discussed there.
Im at a loss on what to do at this point. I feel like I’m not taking the hint that ‘she is just not that into me’. My FH dislikes her just based off what he’s heard me going through. He hasn’t met her and I’ve defended her bc I don’t know what’s going on in her life. But it’s been MONTHS of this, like almost 4 months of ignored calls.
What do I do? What would you do? Help guide me through this. Am I pathetic for trying to keep connecting with her? She’s active on IG and FB so I know she sees my messages.
Please help! Am I missing something?
PS- Thank you and congratulations if you read through my essay and made it to the end!