Hello Wedding Wire Community! 
I have a bit of long one here.
I’m hoping to get some advice on something I’ve been struggling with for a while. My fiancé and I have been engaged since October 2023, and our wedding is in September 2025, so we’re still a decent way out! I had a pretty good idea of my bridal party even before getting engaged. Officially, I have: my more recent best friend, who I met through my fiancé almost eight years ago, as my MOH (she and my fiancé grew up together, and her husband is a groomsman—they’ve all been friends since elementary school); two of my cousins, who I grew up incredibly close with and consider sisters, as bridesmaids; and my soon-to-be brother-in-law’s girlfriend, who I recently decided to ask as a bridesmaid because I’m confident she’ll be my sister-in-law one day.
But there’s one person I’ve been going back and forth about: my longtime best friend from childhood. We’ve known each other since we were 11 (now almost 28), so it’s been nearly 17 years. Back in middle school, we were inseparable—hanging out every evening, spending weekends at each other’s houses, even staying over on school nights sometimes. We shared everything and were always there for each other, especially during tough times like middle school. But after middle school, we went to different high schools, and since then, we’ve hardly seen each other. High school started in 2010 or 2011, and since then, we’ve probably gotten together 6 or 8 times. The last time I saw her was almost four years ago, and the next time will be this upcoming weekend.
My fiancé has met her the few times we’ve seen each other during our relationship, but he’s indifferent about whether I ask her to be a bridesmaid mostly becasue he has no clue what he would do if he were in my shoes, leaving the decision up to me. It’s tough because, despite not seeing her often, she was one of the first people I told about the engagement, and she’s always one of the first I tell about any big life event. I even considered asking her to be a bridesmaid back in January when I asked the others, but I hesitated, and now I’m worried she might bring it up when we meet this weekend.
She was excited about the engagement and said she’d been waiting for it for years. We tried to plan a get-together immediately after the engagement, but our schedules conflicted—she travels a lot for modeling, and I was wrapping up my undergrad (I graduated in April). I start my master’s degree in October, so my free time will be limited again soon. I get 3 weekends off per quarterly semester and a summer break, so I’ll be a bit of a hermit while I work through my graduate degree.
The dilemma is that, although I rarely see or talk to her, when we do, it feels like no time has passed. We don’t text or call regularly, but we do share big news and wish each other happy birthdays. I still consider her one of my best friends, though not close enough or available enough to be my MOH. I always thought I’d ask her to be a bridesmaid, but now I’m unsure. I absolutely cannot imagine my day without her there, even just as a guest, but then I feel like inviting her as a guest could hurt her. Should I hope we reconnect more over the next year despite my schedule being so limited for free time and ask her this weekend, or is the guilt I feel just because I’m holding onto the friendship we had in the past?
