Bridesmaid Dilemma

Im sorry, this stinks!

But I think you're better off without her...

I'd stick to 6! Lots of people do mismatched sides.

Alternatively, if you have any close male friends/family stick them in there!

View quoted message I would say stick with 6 - you want the people who you trust and can depend on to be beside you on your big day.

Just think how excited two of your bridemaids will be that they get a guy on each side to walk them back down the aisle

It sucks that this friend isn't able to be there for you! I think you need to tell your FH that you are finding it difficult to fill 8 spots and maybe you could just have uneven numbers (really not a big deal btw! We had it at our wedding.) or cut it down to 6. I think it is at least nice that your friend was honest in turning you down early and didn't say yes and then flake on you 2 months before the wedding.

Also if it comes to it, you could always have two guys walk a girl down the aisle. I know it’s not exactly an even number, but at the end of the day that’s not what your wedding day is about right? Itll be just as perfect whether or not you have an even number in your bridal party

Honestly it’s probably due to financial reasons rather than not wanting to be in the wedding. My fiancé and I have had to pay 450$ so far because afew of my bridesmaids aren’t financially stable, which is fine, it happens. but at the same time it could be saving you the extra stress if she’s willing to admit it upfront. I understand what you’re saying about friends though, I’m very selective but my fiancé has way too many! Perhaps you could try reconnecting with a family member and asking them to fill the spot?

I would talk to your fiancé about lowering it down to 6 on each side and he can tell the 2 guys that are not groomsmen they can be the mcs! Or escort guests down the isle when arriving. There are lots of jobs for the guys who you want to be a part of your day.

It seems to be a trend of the groom having more friends on his side, my fiancé had a line up of guys to choose from and for me just getting my 3 bridesmaids was difficult but as of now I have 3 and might be getting rid of one because she was causing some issues.
It isn’t worth it to have a bridesmaid who just causes extra stress, trust me it really isn’t. If she can be upfront with you about it now it’s much better than finding out after the fact

Peoples' circumstances change and it's probably best that she has actually taken the time to think about it, realize that it isn't doable for her, and let you know that now rather than say yes to spare your feelings and then overexert herself.

Perhaps she is overthinking the tasks/duties that lay ahead of her. Depending on the bride and size of wedding she might think you need her every step of the way rather than opinions here and there.

I find many ppl don't find it an honor anymore but rather a burden. I experienced this with my current MC and trying to find a co-MC for the reception. Between FH and myself we probably asked 6 ppl before the 7th said yes (his little sis, should have asked her first apparently).

Perhaps talk to her about it and see what her expectations are from this role. With a total of 8 bridesmaids the duties should be minimal divided between them all.

By any chance this girl not engaged/married? You hear sometimes of girls feeling jealous and not able to sort of be happy for their friend.

I'm often surprised how many issues we have with bridal party members, I think its just a circumstance (weddings that is) that brings to light any little bits of trouble in friendships.

Focus on the girls who you do have by your side though! (PS. 8 is SO many.. have you guys thought about that you'll have to buy thank you gifts for all these peeps and fit them at your head table!)

Sounds like the same issues I had with my best friend at first. She was excited when I asked her but then quickly lost interest. She seemed very angry at me for a long time, almost as if she resented me for getting married. Her boyfriend just recently proposed to her and now everything feels normal. I'm sorry you're going through this. People really get weird when others are planning a wedding.

View quoted message That’s really nice of you to say, thanks Bianca !

Sorry that you have to go through this honey ❤️ Maybe try talking it out with her (give her the chance to defend her choice) and move on from there. She’s the one who will really be missing out in the end.

View quoted message Of course ! That enthusiasm is amazing ! Shows how excited they are and how important you are to them as well I keep remember that I’m marrying a great man too. He’s my best friend and he helps get me through it all. As long as he shows up I’m happy! Haha

View quoted message Thank you, I kind of felt like a real crappy friend. But it is what it is and I know I’m marrying a wonderful man who will do anything for me and so I’m not letting this damper my wedding spirits. The third bridesmaid I asked just incase my other one backs our was so excited because she’s from India and in her culture they don’t have bridesmaids she said so she was so happy and excited that I asked her. Which was really nice to have that enthusiasm.

View quoted message We’re close enough, she would definitely tell me if that was the issue. I’ll ask her to coffee sometime soon just to see if we can talk it out.
Thanks!

Yea, I’d try talking to her. Maybe she’s having financial issues and doesn’t want to be a burden on you with any of that.

View quoted message Ya the number is way too high. I have 6 on my side now so I may just keep it that way.
Thanks !

View quoted message I’m really sorry to hear that. It is unfortunate how some friends change, I can definitely relate.
Thanks for sharing.

I’ve had the same issue with one of my best friends. She was always going to be my maid of honour. She lives in BC and I’m in AB and so she was visiting another friend in Saskatchewan and I just expressed I felt hurt that she didn’t consider visiting Alberta friends and mentioned I paid numerous times to go visit her. I mean I have family on the island too, but 2 times I went to just go support her. Like when her ex cheated on her I dropped Work and went there.

She messages back very offended and snappy saying our other friend had cancer (which I didn’t know) and then she has ignored me for like 3 weeks now. I have since asked another friend to be my bridesmaid. So if she doesn’t want to be then that’s okay. I don’t know her reasons for ignoring me but in the end it is her loss. I was hurt but I’ve moved on from it. I can relate tho how it hurts when people you thought would be there for you change their minds.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Maybe talk to her see if there is something behind her acting this way? Maybe she expected to be maid of honour? As for 8 on each side, first off wow that's a lot more than us. My fiance has more close friends too, we agreed to limit our party at 5 each. So he has 5 and after my own bridesmaid issue I now have only 4 and we are sticking to that. If you can't fill the spot then don't, I think odd numbers are fine and I actually love my odd number! Good luck!