Bridesmaid and groomsmen

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It's always a tough decision to make, but wishing you the both the best of luck!
Happy Planning!!!

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Hahaha thank you!! For now we are waiting for that decision 😂 we have plenty of time since we did all the planning we could regarding the situation. I’m kind of hopping that by the end of it the decision will be easier to take 😂

We had the same problem, we have A LOT of close friends & family we consider friends as well, but at the end of the day we thought the 3 people we had originally chosen were the three who grew with not just us individually but us as a couple. The 3 we chose are people who we know will be standing beside us for years to come.

You will have to sit and decide if you are willing to have that larger party, but keep in mind the more people the more expensive as well, but if they mean that much to you, then that shouldn't be a thought!

I am wishing you the best of luck girl!

In the end it's your big day and do what makes you happy!

My fiance and I are only doing one groomsmen and one bridesmaid. His brother and my best friend.

Hello!

My fiance and I are in this exact situation but reversed .. I have tons of close friends and he has a small group of friends. Our numbers are 4 on his side and 7 on mine (and I could have had 8 or 9).

Odd numbers are totally fine .. i don't think you need to do anything because it's your wedding but it's perfectly fine and more normal these days to have odd numbers.

At first my fiance wasn't a huge fan because he wanted everything to be even (OCD lol) but we talked about it and there was no way we could cut someone from the list and he didn't have anyone he wanted to just "add" for the sake of adding so instead, we made the best out of it. Now or MOH and Best man will walk down together and every other groomsman will walk with two ladies on his arm - PERFECT! I think in your case you would be able to do something like this as well.

Good luck

At the end of the day just do what makes your happy! Un-even numbers pose a few challenges, but not un-workable ones and a good photographer can work with anything!

I thought of a few point to consider when deciding who makes the cut:

a) Will you be paying for all the dresses, suits, hair, nails, boutonnieres etc? or Will the bridesmaids and groomsmen have to buy their own? If you are paying then fewer people in the wedding party could mean big saving and if they are paying then perhaps someone in the group doesn't make as much as others in which case they might actually be a little relieved not to have to shell out for the accoutrements. I was once involved in a wedding where I wasn't even technically in the bridal party, but I was still invited to all the activities... you can't say no without offending the bride, but I was a super poor student at the time and her activities wound up including a pot luck and games night, a weird sex toy demo with a minumum purchass per client, laser tag, manicures, a baby shower (she was also pregnant at the time), plus I had to buy a wedding present. All in I wound up spending about 400$ on her wedding! The bridesmaids each spent about 1000$ I love my friend, but that was not money I could really afford to spend and it wound up creating resentment! Long story short culling the list might actually work out better for everyone.

b) do all the candidates get along? On the day of the last thing you want is to be mediating between two feuding bridesmaids or groomsmen. If anyone on the list might bring negativity to your day then they are not someone you really want in the wedding party. Weddings are stressful enough without adding personal drama to the mix.

c) wedding parties quickly become a mess of balancing huge numbers vs hurt feelings. I think making everyone happy is nearly impossible in this situation. I'd personally vote cut it back to just the nearest and dearest and maybe find another way to tell those who didn't make the cut how special they are to you. Perhaps a nice bottle of wine, or having them over for a special dinner.

Personally we actually decided against having a wedding party at all. I didn't want to have to make cuts amongst my friends; I don't want to deal with hurt feelings and my Fiance has no one he would really want except maybe his brother. I didn't want to have 10 bridesmaids and 1 groomsmen lol! Plus in the end we decided we really want the ceremony to be just about us so we will be up there alone. For a procession we will have the parents enter, plus his brother and wife and our niece will be a flower girl (or maybe just run away in the wrong direction lol she's two) but after the procession we will be asking them all to sit in the first row and it will be just us and the minister for the ceremony. Not saying that's what you should do just throwing in my two cents on how we got around the who to include issue.

Honestly, I was in a wedding where the groom kept adding groomsman and the bride ended up adding bridesmaids. She only wanted three and ended up with six because she wanted to keep it even. My suggestion is to do what you want. Photos can be set up where it doesn't look strange. Some of the other comments have great examples of how to work with it so that you don't have to search to find extra bridesmaids.

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Yes take a look around, I went to Pinterest and typed in uneven bridesmaid and groomsmen. Here is a few examples.

Hope this helps.

View quoted message No problem! Happy to help

This decision is based on you two on how you feel you want to go about each side. The number can be even or odd on who is being part of the wedding party.
We personally went only 4 total for the wedding party that had 2 each MOH and BM (Best Man) for each groom. This helped to keep it small and easy than going more and hectic worrying less over all the issues that would take place and arranging meetings over the time.
Perspective to the wedding party average given the guest list would be:
Small wedding: 2-3
Medium wedding: 3-5
Large wedding: 5-10

My fiance has a lot of siblings, so he wanted his five brothers, my brother, and his best friend to be groomsmen; I couldn't think of seven bridesmaids, because I could either have five or eight (three close friends where it would be weird to not include one). Ultimately we decided on 5 girls for me and 7 dudes for him and two of the girls (both of which are his sisters) will both walk in with two brothers each! I got a little obsessive about having an equal number then realized it doesn't really matter lol

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If it helps, some of them get to couple up and walk down together. Let's see how very close they get

You wouldn't really be stealing since you won't have them at your bachelorette party or whatnot. They can still bro out with the groom beforehand, you can keep the decision making to the ladies of your bridal party, and they'll cheer both you and the groom on when you make your grand entrance.

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Yeah it can be I guess - depends on the people! I feel I have a lot more input and help with my bridesmaids - someone to help me with decisions, help run games or speeches, make playlists for getting ready and a slideshow for the big day - and they're all supportive and looking out for each other too and easy to compromise with on things like dresses, hairstyles, etc. No one's picky and they all pitch in.

But I've heard horror stories from others as well lol so just depends on the personalities of some. 😅

View quoted message I must admit I never saw a picture with an uneven number but I’ll look at some for sure

View quoted message Hahaha I love that idea, but since they are a group of very close friends, I would feel like a thief 😅

View quoted message I like that idea. If my FH don’t want to choose (which I could totally understand) I think I will go like that. I could definitely ask one other of my friend to have complimentary number!

View quoted message Thank you for that comment. I do not want to lose friend for that either thats a good point 👌🏻

View quoted message That is a really good point. I feel that having that much groomsmen and bridesmaid would be a lot to handle. And the cost is an argument that will make my FH think about it 😂

View quoted message Thank you for your answer! It help me to see that some others are in the same situation ☺️

View quoted message Hahaha I try to convince myself that i would be Ok with an uneven number but I guest we have the same OCD 😅🤷🏻‍♀️ I have other superclose friends I could ask but it seems to add a lot more to handle 😅

We will have different number on each side. I honestly don't mind at all. As long as our special people are there that is all im concerned about.

Nowadays photographers can still shoot great wedding party pictures with uneven sides. I guess that was the problem everyone had before.

Are you close with any of his friends? Would they consider being bridesmen?

I have 8 bridesmaids and my finance has 7 .

For me personally I wanted to have matching numbers - but if I were in your shoes, I know I don't have 8 people that I would ask... I would however want it to match somewhat... so I would go with asking 4 girls to be your BM's if you can find that extra girl. That way it's 2 guys to every girl (with the exception of you and your FH). If you can't / don't want to ask another girl to be in your wedding party that's fine too - there's nothing saying that you have to have matching or complimentary numbers.

Making it even when you would have to add another 5 people might be a bit of a headache. Trying to organize other people is a lot of work if they aren't already organized people. It's worth it if they are close to you, if they aren't that close already it could be a friendship ender (my sister lost an acquaintance because she added her to the wedding party and then there was lots of unexpected drama and she had to kick her out of the wedding party). I like the idea of pictures being even, but not at the cost of your sanity.

Have as many or as few people as each of you want. In the end it should be about quality and not needing to fill spots so you have even numbers.


Obviously the more people you have the more people you need to coordinate with and wrangle for things like dress or suit fittings, and if you're doing gifts or proposals for everyone it will add up a lot faster. Those are the only negatives I can think of!

I have 4 bridesmaids and my FH has 5 groomsmen! I don’t think it really matters.... do what you want! It’s your wedding ❤️

I think it's up to you and just trust your gut! Personally I would try to even it out but that is just me. Some weddings have a very uneven number and I think if you have a good photographer they can make it look great!

I wanted to have the same number (slight OCD lol) on each side, and he was either 3 for super close friends in his group, or 6 for his whole group of closer friends. I definitely had more than 3 so we decided on 6. (I also wanted an even number so that if we do coupled off pics we are the definitive middle). I have 4 super close friends, a cousin, and a good friend that probably would have been a super close friend if I didn't move away .

View quoted message Thanks! That’s also my vision but I’m a bit nervous about the difference of number and that 8 vs 3 will look akward 😕

I honestly think symmetry is overrated 😅 there's no reason why you can't have a mismatched number of bridesmaids/groomsmen. FH and I decided to go the no wedding party route in the end, but if we hadn't then I would've had 4 on my side and FH would've had 6 and that's the way it would've stayed since it wouldn't have felt genuine enough to ask 2 others to be up there with us