Bridal shower or not?

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Hi Ashley, that's a tough one. I guess you'll just have to sit her down and have a heart to heart. If it were me in this situation I would let her know, in no uncertain terms, that while you appreciate that she may want this for you, you will not participate. It will be a disappointment for her, that's for sure. Having said that, if you feel that she's going to do it anyway in spite of how you feel, why don't you ask for gifts of "experience" such as dinner out, movie passes, nail salon gift cards, massage gift certificate, etc. These are items that won't collect dust in your home. I don't know if I've been much help.

So glad to see I'm not the only one for going a bridal shower! I've mentioned to my bridesmaids that I do not want a shower and I've mentioned this several times to my mother but she replies with a sly smile. I will be very upset if she throws one when I've asked her not to. She thinks it's my time to "cash-in" since I'm always going bridal showers throughout the year. Truthfully, I hate going to showers of any kind. This is why I don't want one in my honour. My FH and I live together and he works at a home improvement store, so he's always coming home with the latest kitchen gadgets. Also, I don't like the focus on me. Any advice to detour my mom from going against my wishes?

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Interesting name, Nakedsun. Perhaps your FMIL could host the afternoon tea since she was upset about you not wanting a shower. As far as gifts go, you could ask that people give gift cards to a nail salon, or for a local boat cruise, dinner and a movie, etc. The options are endless.

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That's exactly how I feel, Kila. That's why I chose to have a ladies' dinner. We don't need gifts, we need friendship.

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Lucky girl, Samtam! Those are lovely gifts and kudos to your MOH for thinking of such a great theme!

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Hi Chloe, I suppose you could have your shower when everyone is off school like Christmas break, reading week, or when classes finish in April.

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Hi Alexa, It is a fun time and that's why I'm having a meet and greet dinner. Bonding can be done in many ways. We just didn't need more "stuff". I hope you have a beautiful shower.

I would like a bridal show just so that it is a fun activity for bonding time with close friends and family

I want a shower but I'm not sure how exactly it's going to work. I'm in university and so are most of my friends, so we're all over Ontario. I'm not sure where we would have a shower and who my MOH would invite!

View quoted message That's awesome! What a great idea!

View quoted message We sure are, Sonja!

My sister/MOH did my shower and she did a secret theme for the gifts. The theme was "Date Night" so instead of gifts off our registry, my guests gave us giftcards to restaurants and the movies, board games to play, a massage class, etc. I thought that was a great update on the traditional shower!

View quoted message What a great idea!

Thanks ! I feel like as a couple we don't need a lot of home items and I would much prefer to make the bridal shower more of just an excuse for us girls to dress fabulous drink wine and catch up

I really don't want one, which has upset my FMIL and my FH grandmother.

My extended family (who isn't coming to our wedding as it'll be very small) has mentioned it may be nice to do an afternoon tea. Which I'm not opposed to if we forgo gifts. But no one has picked up planning it so far, and frankly, I have too much going on to plan it myself.

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I just thought it was suitable for afternoon tea. So sophisticated, etc.

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That sounds really nice, Kila. Hope you have a lovely time.

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I'm not really a downtown abbey fan. Probably more of an enchanted forest thing, if we have a theme. It might just be at some fancy place in Toronto, where my MOH lives.

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Hi Rekramer, Afternoon tea! What a delight! You could make it a Downton Abbey themed tea party!

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Hi Andrea, That's an excellent idea!

I didn't want one, but my MOH said its important and it would make my FH's family happy. There will be no gifts (we live together already) but I like tea parties so I've agreed to afternoon tea.

My MOH is throwing my shower but we are just going to do a ladies luncheon . Not overly interested in lots of gifts but I'm sure my ladies will spoil me with small things like make up and wine

I had similar feelings about a shower - we both had our own houses before we moved in together, so we have 2 of everything (and then some). We did end up having one, though and we registered for excursions for our honeymoon. We plan to take pictures and share them with the people who funded them so they feel like they contributed to our honeymoon experience! Everyone really loved that idea because they were giving us something they knew we would love and they didn't have to leave their house to go shopping from our registry!

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Hi Joey, Someone suggested a long standing German restaurant. I would love that because that's my background. I'll have to check it out first.

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Hi Natalie, we older brides are usually established and we buy things we like.

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Hi Maegan, I feel that way also. Couples tend to buy what they need. It's not like it was 40 years ago when people tried to help the couple to have a good start. In those days a bride would usually come directly from her parents' home and would need items to set up her own home. Today, women have careers and buy what they need.

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Hi Sasha, it just seems like a lot of fuss and work.

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Hi Erin, you're right that people are spending enough on weddings. Then they buy gifts for the wedding, too.

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I think your idea for a gathering sounds like a lot of fun What sort of restaurant have you chosen for the occasion?

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Hi Joey, yes, it was kind of them and as a young couple, there are things you need. In our case, we are pretty well supplied so it would be a waste. I still wanted something to get the ladies together.

I thought I wasn't having one, but then my family threw us a surprise wedding shower, which was very kind of them.

I'm not having one and I'm also not really doing a bachelorette. People already spend enough money on attending weddings I feel bad making them spend more. I will be having a dinner and that's it.