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Casey
Master October 2019 Ontario

Bridal Shower!

Casey, on July 23, 2018 at 13:26 Posted in Before the wedding 0 11
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Hey Ladies,

So I am trying to get as much planned in advance so I am not stressing closer to the wedding date. I just went out with my parents this past weekend to look at places to host a Bridal shower as I want to do a High Tea. There are 4 places in my area that does this, so we wanted to get them booked right away as we have some date restrictions due to guests coming in from over seas.

With that being said, these venues are meant to be smaller and more intimate, which means less people coming to the shower. We will be doing the shower with just my side of the family and then my FH's Mom, 2 sisters and sister in law because they are in the bridal party.

How do you present this to your FH's family that this is happening without people getting pissed off?

I try very hard to not upset people and include everyone's opinions, but I feel with the venue being so small, there is not much room to add more people.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on July 24, 2018 at 09:01
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    Present the idea to your MIL and let her know that the space is enough for how many ever people. She is joining you when looking at the venue?

    At the same time, if she is wanting to host her family, that is a positive for you and your FH.
    • Reply
  • Julie
    Expert March 2019 Ontario
    Julie ·
    • Dispute
    I'd talk to your FMIL about her or one of your FHs Aunts hosting a Shower for their side. It's nice that you know what you'd like and that's what you should have.
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    I would definitely ask your FMIL if she wants to host or have another shower for her side of the family. Even though your future husband isn't the "young girl they watched grow into a woman"... he's probably very important to members of his side of the family, and many of them would probably love to go to a shower, almost as a way to welcome you to the family.

    I totally understand the space restriction... so I'd talk to your FMIL about it and see what she thinks about a 2nd shower. Or, she may give you the out and say don't worry about it... in which case, you can always fall back on that.

    I know several people who had multiple showers... Own family, His family, Work colleagues... etc... sometimes venues/dates/times don't allow for one big shower.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    Typically, someone else throws a shower for you and so they would be in charge of who to invite, and some tend to only invite those they know. My aunt wants to have a shower for me, and she would only be inviting the aunts from her side of the family. So, if my mom's sisters feel left out, they would have to plan their own. You could let his family know that you want to keep it small, but would be willing to attend another one if they would like to plan one for you.

    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    View quoted message

    That place looks amazing!

    We are in Niagara, so most likely going to have it at Prince of Wales!

    I have a feeling that is what may end up happening, but I am going to leave it in the in laws hands.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    Totally understandable that you want something small and quiet! Also if you're in the Toronto area T-Buds is AMAZING!!! That's actually where I want to have a Bridal Shower too for High Tea!

    Have you thought about maybe doing 2 Bridal Showers? Something small and simple like this and something bigger so no one is feeling left out?

    Just a thought! It's probably what I will end up doing!

    • Reply
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Honestly leave both in your families hands. I have nothing to do with either shower other than letting them know which days work (I have to travel home for the first one). It’s hard cause I want to send ideas of cute things but my sister made it clear she wants it to be a surprise so I’m going to respect that.
    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    I have seen some friends do two different showers just because it is easier to plan. Our families are not overly huge, so both would be smaller and intimate which I would prefer than having to run around a huge shower lol

    I may just take this one off my plate and leave it up to the future in laws to plan something.

    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Lol that is kinda the way I looked at it too. I honestly hate going to Bridal showers when you're not immediate family, or friends.

    Of course if they didn't want to have one for just their side we would invite both grandma's because aside from immediate family they would be the most important ones to have.

    I may end up leaving that up to my FMIL and the sister in laws to decide !

    • Reply
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
    • Dispute
    Well what about seeing if someone from his side wants to host one for his family? It’s not ideal but it’s always an option. If they’re asking and want to come celebrate the two of you maybe talk to your FMIL and the bridesmaids about ideas.

    I will be having 2 showers. I wasn’t thinking I wanted any but my mom wanted to throw me one as they are community events back home and not everyone will be able to travel to the wedding.

    Closer to the wedding his brothers wife has asked if she can throw one for us because people have been asking and again they are huge community events where most of the people coming won’t be expecting invites to the wedding but want to give us something (he is a youth football coach, rancher, farmer, also work wives,etc). Weddings can easily be over 400 people out here if you invite everyone so most people don’t expect an invite if they are not family but they all want to do something for us.
    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    Personally I would be offended but at the same time grateful that I wouldn't have to get a bridal shower gift. I don't suppose that you could have one tea with your side and then another with his? If not then if anybody asks that isn't invited I would just tell them that it was meant to be a more intimate tea and that you only had people that you were close to - which would obviously be your side of the two families. Good luck!

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