Bridal Party Help

At the end of the day its your wedding. Especially if there has been issues you in the past, do not feel obligated to include her in your wedding party, it may only cause you more stress in the future. My best suggestion would be to give her another role, maybe ask her to do one of the readings in the ceremony.

I had my sisters and my best friend as my bridesmaids, and my husband had his brothers and his best friend as his groomsmen. We wanted to keep our wedding party small as well so we didn't ask his sisters or my brothers to be part of the wedding party. We ended up with 4 bridesmaids (1 was a junior bridesmaid) and 3 groomsmen, and my husband's niece was our flower girl.

One of my brothers did the music for our ceremony and reception, and one of my husband's sisters was our MC, and the rest of the siblings were guests.

I am not having my FHs sister in the wedding, we are not super close so I asked my FH and he is ok with it. We are having a small wedding party 3 on my side and 2 on his.

I agree with above. If you don't feel comfortable don't do it. And he should respect that, especially if you said that something has happened before between the two of you.

There are SO many key roles to play in a wedding; just because she's not part of the bridal party doesn't mean she can't have a really important role. If she's the decorations coordinator who gets everyone in shape to get things together on the day of, and you tell her that you need someone who you trust to execute the plan (this is just an example and one that I've used on someone so far) she may feel like at least she's contributing and part of something. But all that aside, being a bridesmaid is a lot of work and I think that if you do it just to please your fiance or her, you'll end up with resentment at the end of it.

EDIT:

I do not think you need to revoke your other bridesmaids just to please someone you're not close with. This is your day and your soon to be husbands day. You're paying for meals, decor and throwing a party for other people to attend and celebrate your union. You do not need to sacrifice who you want by your side for anyone. If they can't respect that, doesn't that kind of prove why they shouldn't be part of the clique to begin with? It's hard, I know. But would you be offended if she didn't include you? Probably not.

You definitely need to do what's right for you. Don't include anyone out of guilt. At the end of the day, it's just a party, and if someone gets mad about their role, they just have to deal. You and your partner are the only people whose opinions really matter.

I have 8 in my party

My fiancee' has 4, so I may have more girls in my party fiancee' isn't adding anyone else. Just cause your sister is in your party don't make it weird it's your Big day not anyone elses Her fiancee' doesn't need to be in the party.

I'm having 6 girls on my side but my fiancé was really finding it hard to choose between 8 (which did not include my brother). After thinking about it I told him not to worry about choosing my brother. They get along great but aren't close outside of family gatherings and I didn't think it would be fair for me to ask him to drop a friend he's known for 20+ years just for my brother. To be completely honest the only person who was really upset by it was my mom but my brother was totally fine with it and I told him we'd have him do something else to still be part of the wedding. There's other ways you can involve someone and make them feel included.

Bottom line, YOU DO YOU!!

Don't invite someone out of guilt, but do remember that family is going to be with you forever and some of your closest friends will not. My best friend and I used to be inseparable and something changed specifically around the wedding and I don't know how long we'll be in each others lives or how meaningful our relationship will be in the future. That said, if you're not that close and have had issues in the past, do not invite her. The wedding will not make you any closer, it will only drive you apart. I have a pretty steady, consistent, positive relationship with my sister in law, and having her as a bridesmaid has really tested those boundaries. She came VERY close to getting kicked out as a bridesmaid. It was awkward.

I was in the EXACT SAME situation. With my sister and 4 closest friends, I now have 5 Bridesmaids. I decided that I would not have my future sister in law in the wedding, and i don’t have any regret. I know it did bother her, but I made it clear to her that this does not mean that she won’t be included in the wedding planning and the wedding day. It simply means she won’t be wearing the dress and standing up with me. She understood when I talked to her about it, and has been actually quite wonderful and interested in our wedding planning, so we are now considering having her do a reading during our ceremony, since she is the only sibling not in the wedding party. This way she has her own role in the wedding!

What if he put her on his side? Gender mixed bridal parties are becoming more common!

I think you shouldn't feel obligated to put anyone and everyone in your bridal party, because when does it stop, where do you draw the line. But on the other hand I think it would be a nice gesture to have someone from your fiancees side in the bridal party to almost symbolize accepting new family members and joining families.

I ended up with a huge bridal party (large family issues) but I didn't have any of my fiancees family in it. I was being stubborn because I didn't want to mess with the good group of girls I had selected. I took a step back and told myself that a small sacrifice (putting his only female cousin in the bridal party which i'm not close with) would make such a huge impact on my fiancees family and they were thrilled that she is going to be a part of the big day and that I was accepting her into my group of AMAZING bridesmaids.

I was literally in your exact same situation. FH wanted his sister in the bridal party and I didn’t. I ended up only having a MOH because of this and honestly I’m happy I did.
Just try to find a way to exclude her but nicely. Tell your FH that you only want people up there who know your relationship so well and blah blah blah. That’s how I got our bridal party down to us and two people lol.

As others have said I would talk to your FH about it! If you're not that close I wouldnt make her a bridesmaid but I understand your worry.... is there something else you could have her do?

I would talk to your FH and let him know that you feel maxed out with your bridal party already. If he feels that she should be included, maybe figure out a way to include her without having her be a bridesmaid. Have her do a reading at the ceremony or let her give a speech at the reception.

How many guys does your FH have on his side? If he's at 4-5, you can say you don't want your party to be too unbalanced by adding another girl to your side.

I have 4 girls on my side and my FH has 2 guys and his best woman. He included my brother and I included his sister since we all get along and are close. If you aren't that close and have past issues, I wouldn't include her in case she starts bringing those issues up again.

I think since it is an important day for both you and your fiance, you should see if he would like his sister to be included in the wedding party. If he does, then you should include her...as the wedding party should include members who are important to both of you (regardless if they are male or female). In my opinion if there have been issues in the past, this should not be a reason not to include her, as it will probably only exacerbate the issue between you two (if there is one) and make it worse. I would not want my relationship with my new family to begin on the wrong foot. If you continue to have issues later, at least you attempted to include her and make peace. Either way you must do what makes you comfortable. Best of luck!

Don't feel to invite your FH sister if she is putting the guilt on you. This day is about you and the ones to surround you being close. Some relationships are distant.

I didn't include my brothers part of the wedding since i had close friends nearby.

Have you asked what your FH thinks? I know that when I asked my FH about his half-sister he said no. To be fair they don't have the best relationship but it was still input that I was glad to hear.

If he doesn't care then don't feel obligated to ask her. I doubt that she would want a pity invitation into the bridal party. If anything give her a shout-out at the wedding if she ends up helping out quite a bit with the wedding.

Of course if you want to have equal sides of bridesmaids and groomsmen and he would have 6 then one more to even it out never hurt anybody right? If they are not going to be even by doing so, then there is no point really.

If you think about it this way, you could keep it very small by having just your sister as your sole bridesmaid (if you have one sister) and then include everyone else in major events like the bachelorette party. I have 4 bridesmaids myself (they are all my sisters) and am inviting close friends and cousins to my bachelorette because we are all very close in age and I'd love to include these girls in more than just our wedding day.

If you are uncertain about including someone, save yourself the trouble and don't do it. I know it sounds harsh but it is just not worth the stress over the many months of planning let alone relying on them to be a part of your big day. I just went through some family troubles myself, and it would have been so much easier on my fiancé and I if I had just waited a little longer to make my decisions for the bridal party and not included her in the first place.

I am sorry to hear it is not as simple as you would hope it would be. Best of luck