Both parents walking you down the aisle?

Both my parents are walking me down the isle. They are separated so it only seemed fair for both of them to be incorporated and included with giving me away.

Traditionally in Indian weddings (not fully though) have the whole groom dance their way in and the bridal family walk in.

We however had our mothers walk us down to be memorable. My mom walked me and husbands aunt the same. She as the wedding part of 4 and flower kids walked in front of us.

As to your mother feeling left out because of the father daughter walking the aisle. Have them both at meeting points of her starting from the doors to the mid way point and your father walking down as planned. It pleases not only you, both parents too.

My bio parents arnt invited for specific reasons but i am strongly toying with the idea of my step mom and dad (stepdad and his new wife) walking me because my stepdad is more my dad then my bio dad ever was or will be and his new wife has done so much for me in such a short time and she feels like my mother then my actual mom does. I have even planned on having both of them legally adopt me because they are my parents more then my actual parents. If your dream is just to have your dad then let your mom know that. maybe plan another way for her to feel special

It is hard when you want to make everyone happy, but at the same time your own happiness should not be compromised. Talk with your mom and ask her why she feels so strongly about being included in this particular moment, tell her even though she is important to you, you have always pictured your dad walking you down the aisle.

I don't plan on having both parents walk me down, just my Dad. Like you, that's what I have pictured since I was a little girl so I can't imagine it any other way. If you can't either, then I think it is completely fine to not ask you Mom to join you and your Dad - but maybe try making it up in different ways like how the others have mentioned having her get ready with you or maybe you could do a reveal photoshoot with her?

I totally understand that your mother wants to but she also has to remember that it’s YOUR wedding. In an effort to make everyone special we asked my mother to do a blessing before the meal.
As for the aisle , my husband actually walked down with his mother , then his father walked down with my mother, followed by groomsmen and bridesmaids and then the song changed, doors opened, and I had my dream of walking down with just my dad.

My suggestion: be creative so that your mother knows how special she is to you , you’ll have to compromise on some things ( maybe flower choice or footwear! ) but you shouldn’t have to change your bigger wishes! Good luck!!

Both of my parents walked me down the aisle! I wouldnt have it any other way, they both raised me and gave me the life I have ap why would I only have one parent? I also HAAATTTTTEEEEE the concept of "giving away the bride" no thanks, my dad doesnt own me and he isnt GIVING me away. So instead I made it that both of my parents are "presenting" me to my groom! Worked out perfect! So glad we did it that way I wouldnt have changed it for anything!

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Thanks! She's walking down the aisle with my brother. So maybe find someone to walk your mom down the aisle so she still gets a walk!

View quoted message I feel like that is a very reasonable response on her part!

My mom is getting ready with us, but I did ask if she wanted to walk with us down the aisle. She said she wanted to give my dad his moment since we'll have plenty while we get ready.

I asked my mom if she wanted to be more included, and she said no. She's my best friend and is helping me plan the whole wedding, so I was surprised she didn't want more of the spotlight. I think she's more of a traditionalist like me, so she said she was happy to just be escorted to her seat.

View quoted message It has honestly been such a breeze and I highly recommend it to everyone planning a wedding! We couldn't bare the thought of shelling out 30k for a local wedding, and we are getting a super luxurious experience for less than 10k in the DR! Cheaper and easier is a win win for me lol.

Ohh that is so frustrating. I'm so sorry to hear that! Hopefully that doesn't getting in the way of your vision for your day!

View quoted message Ooooh you were smart. I wish we did a destination wedding!! I helped a friend plan hers and it was so much easier!
My parents keep offering to pay for what they want but that only made us more frustrated because they aren't interested in helping us pay for the wedding, until they don't get their own way and then suddenly they're all over it!

View quoted message We are doing the same thing. And since we are paying for everything we are using that as our main argument for doing things our way lol starting with a destination wedding which was totally against my in-laws' wishes. You just gotta do what you gotta do!

View quoted message Hahahaha wouldn't it though. Our parents have been pretty good but there were a few things they go their backs up about. We tried to accomodate a few things but others we just had to put our foot down. It's hard to disappoint people we care about so much, but with us paying for it, there were only so many things we could do haha

View quoted message If only... Lol That is also a good point about it being an important day for them, though. The whole wedding process would be so much easier if everyone just easily accepted our desires! Even though we are being firm in what we want, it's hard to deal with the disappointment and backlash sometimes.

View quoted message It's nice that you and your Dad are now in a place that you makes you want him to walk you down the aisle! And it's great that your Mom is understanding.

View quoted message Hahahaha if only our parents could just honour our wishes. I was talking to a friend who is having similar troubles. We both agree that it's tough because it is an important day for our parents too but it's more important for us and we wish they would step back and remember that!

View quoted message Sounds like you have an even more complicated decision to make... Good luck to you! I think I'm feeling more compelled to break away from the tradition now. Thank you!

View quoted message That is so interesting - you are in the complete opposite boat! I'm glad to hear you were able to find a happy medium!

My dad and I have not had a great relationship growing up but the last few years have been a lot better. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle as a symbol that love truly grows if you allow it too. My mom has been especially understanding of this as she herself has witnessed the type of relationship my dad and I had and how hard we've worked to rebuild it. My original plan was to walk down by myself and have my parents and in laws walk before me in pairs but I knew that would hurt my dad in a way that I couldn't take back or fix the hurt.

I think if it's okay with your Dad, then you could consider it. I'm adopted so I have my adopted parents, my birthmom who's now remarried, and a step mom. So I have to figure all of that stuff out too 😂. If tradition is important to you maybe your mom will understand, but if you're doing something a little different that's great too, sometimes it's great to break away from tradition to create new ones, either way it is your day so do what will make you the happiest 😊 good luck.

I am actually having the opposite problem. I have a good relationship with both of my parents and I am not into wedding traditions so I asked both parents to walk me down the aisle and my mother refused. She didn't want to take that moment from my dad. I tried to explain that I don't need my dad to give me away, my partner and I have been together 6 years and that I want both parents to be by my side as I enter married life. She still refuses. I am a daddy's girl, so I have decided to let it go. It's not worth the fight. Instead my best friend is escorting her down the aisle as they have a strong relationship and she is happy with this decision
Do what your heart tells you is right. It's your moment, it should be what you want. Hopefully your mom will understand if you choose to save that moment for you and your dad.

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It's endearing that you had the idea and you brought it to her - I think that makes it really special. I really have to put some thought into what truly matters to me... Thanks for your input!

I'm having both walk me down. I'm not traditional at all. When I told my mom, she was like "I have to walk with you!?!" I had to basically convince her that it was important to me and could she pretty please do that for me. Totally opposite to what you're dealing with lol!

Go with whatever is important to you.

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I could find someone and my FH does have a brother, but she'd still be seated "alone" until after the processional, which is less than ideal in my mind.

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I am strongly considering the partial walk now, thanks to a lot of good ideas here!

That's the scary part - she's also told my Dad that she wants a dance with me alone and I REFUSE to do that. I think it would be painfully awkward for the two of us to dance while everyone else watches. Which is also weighing on me... I should probably give into her walking me down the aisle to avoid the dance lol.

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Yeah of course, I get that.
I know some other suggested to do the half walk with your Mom and end with your father, that way you still get that "give away" from your father?
It's a tough situation especially to see your Mother upset if she doesn't have her way, maybe talk to her about it, tell her what you always envisioned ask if there is something ELSE that she could be a part of or do instead to make up for that?

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We definitely have other people that could escort her, but I don't think this would appease her because she's fighting the 'patriarchy' of the giving away of the bride... lol

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Yea, I would just maybe write pro's and cons of it and say them out loud to yourself and then decide, speak to your mom regarding decision.

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It definitely makes sense in the case of separation. My parents are still together, which is probably another reason this thought never crossed my mind. It's so hard to follow-through on wedding visions when you know it's going to upset people... lol

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Okay now I'm just relieved this conversation is happening way ahead of time... I can't imagine it surfacing the night before the wedding! Your poor sister!