Big Wedding vs. City Hall Marriage and Dinner with Family afterwards

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Sounds perfect!

We are also doing a small ceremony and then a dinner at the restaurant. We are fortunate with this venue, modern so we will need small center pieces only. Only thing, we're not sure where to have the ceremony. It will be 60 of us and I have been trying to find a nice area for the ceremony. Guessing with 60 of us, I will have to rent chairs, etc.?

Reading through the other comments now...I forgot to add. We are not getting married at city hall but are doing a small ceremony at a conservation area that we love followed by a dinner and first dance at a restaurant we really love with an adorable patio. There's definitely ways to do a wedding cheaper and still be beautiful, it just depends what's important to you

We struggled with this as well. We originally wanted to get married on our anniversary (which is a thursday this year, July 2nd) with immediate family/best friends only, followed by a reception a month or two later but after we priced out the cost of a hall, dj, etc we were like "damn we could go on a second trip if we dont have a reception." So that's the plan now 😅. Small wedding ceremony, followed by a dinner and our first dance, No reception, on July 2nd and then an Alaskan cruise for our honeymoon after. Then we are either going to do a roadtrip up north in the late summer/ early fall and go camping since we love doing that or go somewhere warm November/December.


I was initially sad that we weren't going to have a big party but once we saw how much it costs just for something basic, it just didnt make sense for us. We love traveling and ultimately it's taking money away from that. We figure we will just have the people who couldn't make it to the wedding over to our house to celebrate one night in the summer. We can drink and feed everyone here and have a good time for a lot cheaper and we still get a second trip this way. Win win!

We were originally going to do city hall followed by a nice downtown restaurant reception but after doing research it ended up costing more to go that route than to do a traditional wedding. The place we’re going to now (a resort, for both ceremony and reception) is giving us way more bang for our buck.


Mind you there are many variables to consider. Amount of people, location, open bar, number of courses for dinner/what type of menu, dessert, cake / sweets table / coffee, h’ors d’oeuvres (sp?), appetizers, do you want wine on the tables etc.
Then consider if there’s other aspects you still want like DJ/dancing, photographer, flowers centrepieces etc.. those will all cost a lot no matter what kind of wedding you have.
Before you make a decision do your research and make sure you get lots of quotes for both types of wedding.

View quoted message Yeah I got engaged Jan 2019 and planning for a oct 2022 wedding. I think I’m set on the season and date just so everyone I want there can come

View quoted message We got engaged Jan 2019 and we’ve been saving by putting money aside since June. With the whole new house and bills that come attached with it, money is going slowly to the wedding fund. But I’m planning to have the wedding for 2022. So I’m hoping that’ll give us enough time to save for the wedding whichever way we decide to go with and still have $$ leftover in the end.

View quoted message I have a mock guest list created of who I absolutely need to invite and it’s at 60 right now. We’re dancing around the idea of getting legally married in Jan and then have a reception the following fall. Ive been asking vendors for quotes on pricing etc, and I’m feeling a bit better with the wedding plans so far. I think it was just the initial shock of the prices at first.

View quoted message You’re going to Japan?! That’s gonna be an amazing trip! We haven’t even thought of honeymoon places yet. Regardless our wedding would be small. I have a big family so it’s them and our closest friends at the moment

I havent done city hall. we got engaged dec 2018 and have our wedding aug 2020 so we could save enough money and pay down vendors with that amount of time. however my friends have done a small outdoor wedding and then small reception and that didnt cost too much. if you do ur wedding in off season its cheaper as well.

I mean, on one hand I would say that you can for sure have a small wedding at a park or even a backyard and it would be BEAUTIFUL so a samll wedding doesn't HAVE to be a city hall marriage. On the other hand if you want a big wedding with all of you relatives attending then I say you have two options there. You could either wait until you can afford it, or you could get married at city hall/ intimate wedding and then when you can afford to have a big wedding of your dreams you can have it on one of your anniversary's!

I've seen both people here on WW get married on a budget, as well as get married years after engagement because either life got in the way or they were waiting on finances.

I would look into doing a cute wedding on a budget first and then go from there. If it's still too much then you and your FH have to talk and decide together what would make you both happiest.

Couples that do budget for a small to large wedding would go ahead with their plans knowing the guest list is accounted for. This being said, we had a small wedding as my cousins have had large weddings due to the guest list created.

Another way of celebrating your day is by eloping and plan a reception month(s) after inviting friends and family. Just a thought that may work as my in laws are doing this to cut costs down.

View quoted message Awww... You just made my day Rayanne!!!

View quoted message My guest list is 60 as well, so it's not huge but it still adds up really fast. FH's mom is still deciding if she wants all of her siblings plus their spouses there too, which adds 12 more alone. I'm fine with 2 of the siblings because we actually see them outside of the annual Christmas get together, but the rest... It's hard to say no to her because I absolutely love her so I want to stay on good terms. But yeah, in hindsight I'd rather have kept it to 20 guests max, and it's not just for the money. FH and I are private and shy people so the smaller the better for us.
But I totally understand the confliction lol just decide what's best for you guys ❤️

You have to decide what's important to you and what's not. For me, even though I did want the big "fairy-tail" wedding, I dreaded being the center of attending and doing the walk down the isle. As much as I loved planning my dream wedding on Pintrest for the past 10years, I couldn't justify going into massive debt to throw basically a really fun party. We are eloping now but still having a small number of close family there. Our ceremony is just going to be the two of us, which I am REALLY looking forward to. Now we can focus on our commitment and what it means to us, without being distracted by how sappy everyone else is being lol

I still get to have certain things I did want, like a great dress, a nice photographer, a cake for cutting, close family there. We are having it at a sweet location so the pictures should turn out really good. I think if we won the lottery and had a ton of money, I would 100% throw an epic dream wedding, but since we aren't rich I do not regret going this route. It's hard to feel sad when I think about us going to Japan with all the money we saved lol

View quoted message Lol or a park like Meaghan did....something special for you.

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Thank you!

I think I need to just open up my venue circle and that it doesn't have to be either city hall or big wedding party there's always an inbetween.

I just need to find someone with a nice backyard lol

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My fiance doesn't mind anything, he knows it's mostly me that's all excited for this so he'd go with the flow type of thing.

I just have to look for smaller venues for roughly 60-70 people.

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My guest list at the moment is 60 people, so it's already a small wedding. To be honest more than half of the people on that list, I wouldn't mind if they don't come >.> My parents are pushy that I invite certain relatives to save face.

Anyways, Ya I've been looking for Restaurant wedding venues at the moment and going from there.

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Your ceremony looked beautiful!
I see both perks and cons for both ways, I'm just an indecisive person as is so this is just a nightmare for me lol.

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The wedding so far with the guestlist I have mocked up is 60 that I "have" to invite maybe half of that are people I actually want to come the rest are relatives I don't typically see but for parents to save face, they're on the list.

I'm just having a hard time justifying a large amount of money to be spent on a party that's 1 day. Then again I didn't go to my prom so I would like to get all dressed up etc. I'm just conflicted with this lol.

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We're thinking of getting legally married in January 24th since that's our anniversary so ideally we would like it to be the same date. If we were to do the traditional wedding day I'd want it to be in fall so sometime beginning of October.

I've heard people once their wedding was over they regret doing it bigger than what they originally planned for and wished they stuck to immediate families etc.

I think my main issue is being judged by both families for doing a small wedding, then again we're the ones paying for it so its not up to them >.>

Meaghan had a perfect wedding IMO. There are ways to make a wedding personal without totally blowing a budget. As long as you know what is important to you and what is not. You can get married in a variety of romantic places rather than city hall and done. If you have access to a beautiful backyard that you can decorate up have an officiant come to you. Your imagination is the limit. As long as it is what you and your finance want that is the perfect wedding.

Hi, we went through the same thought process. Went from a guest list of 220 to 30 total. I'd suggest trying out an intimate wedding, I wholeheartedly believe it is one of the best choices I've made. I'm 18 days out from the wedding, spend way less than half of what we would have spent on the big thing, and I have no stress about the wedding (and I am a typically always "stressed" person).
Our ceremony and reception is at the same venue and the venue is catering the dinner. I'd suggest looking into restaurants or even art studies, places that you can rent large rooms in. With a small wedding, you still get to do soooo much planning in regards to decor and timeline and attire. It's just as satisfying at the big wedding that people tend to opt for, but way less money and stress.

We thought very seriously about elopement with a party afterwards with our friends and family. My biggest concern was that we would spend the same to travel for our wedding and not enjoy the trip due to wedding stress. And then the added cost and stress of a reception afterwards made me wonder if we should just have a traditional wedding at home.
After we took eloping off the table I thought about a wedding with only our closest friends and family and once we sat down to make a list we were at about 60 people. We figured we might as well have a reception for those people (and potentially a few less close, but still important people). We are still deciding how many of those people will be in the room with us when we actually get married. My fiance is a shy guy and I want to make sure he is happy and comfortable when we say our vows.
In the end we looked at what was most important to each of us separately and as a couple and I feel like it's a great way to start the next part of our lives together. Do whatever makes the two of you happiest!

While not at city hall, we had a garden ceremony with only immediate family and then rented a private dining room in a restaurant for afterwards (you can see photos of our day if you click on my profile). I don't regret doing it that way at all.
If city hall isn't completely speaking to you, there may be other, less financially demanding options that appeal more.

We are getting legally married at city hall on February 14th, followed by a dinner out with close friends and family. Our wedding is in Punta Cana on April 11th. I am really glad that I get to experience a full wedding day, especially with my dress and dancing, but part of me things I would have been okay with just the civil ceremony. I think you need to consider what matters to you most, and if you can fulfill those wishes with a small city hall wedding. Maybe that means hiring a photographer, or having your first dance anyway, then perhaps it could work for you and still make you happy! It's honestly such a difficult decision that I think a lot of brides/couples consider and there really is no right answer.

I'm not married yet, but I already regret going with the big traditional wedding. I'm still excited for having our ceremony in FH's parent's back yard, but if I could start all over again it would only be immediate family and core friend group. It all seems so unnecessary to me now. I know some couldn't imagine doing it any other way, but I really do regret it. I'll probably feel differently on the actual day, I hope I do. Either way, at the end of the day I'll be married to a great guy that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, so no matter what it'll all be worth it.