Bestman woes...

Well...I guess my problems may be over. Our best man just found out that his time off request from his job out west was DENIED...

Blessing in disguise?

He is being ridiculous and I think you FH needs to ask him straight up if he wants to be in the wedding party. Be clear that it is OK if he doesn't want to be - but that if he is going to be in the wedding party, he needs to meet these basic obligations: go to the tux fitting(s), rent the tux, attend the wedding and rehearsal, deliver a speech. If he is unable or unwilling to do those things, you understand, but you will need to ask him to step out.

You're not wrong at all for feeling the way you do. It's unfair of him to agree to being the best man, then complaining about his loss of income. He could of backed out and been honest instead of being passive aggressive about the money. Try to enjoy your wedding as much as possible and don't let anyone get to you.

Sounds like he just doesn't feel that it's as important as other things in his life. Hopefully that will change and all will work out in the end! If it were me I'd definitely give the opportunity for him to back out and maybe that would help him to realize how hes being!

Your FHs Best Man needs to stop reacting the way he is and you have stated whats needs to be done on his part or leave. You're being fair and understanding.

On the part of the Best Man, he accepts to be up standing by his best friend and to get the tux on time or step down from his position. His dictations are not acceptable and not the time or place to say what he can do and can't.

Your FH needs to sit down and have heart to heart talk and give him the chance to expalin himself and then tell him the truth.

Thanks Girls, I knew I wasnt in the wrong. I will talk with my FH and straighten things out

I totally know the feeling being frustrated with the best man. I agree with what others have said that it’s nit right for him to act like your wedding is an inconvenience. I would give him a choice either you can come to the tux fitting appointments which won’t take long, or you can choose to not be in our wedding.

Im having the same issue with the guy my fiancé wants as our best man. I’ve met him once so far in 2 years. He was constantly cancelling on my fiancé if my name was mentioned that I was coming. I’m putting my foot down that if he doesn’t meet me more before our engagement party next month then he will only be a groomsmen and not the best man. I’m putting my foot down because he apologized to me when we first met 5 months ago and it was all just bs. It’s our special day and I wouldn’t want someone who whines and complains about getting to know me. I wish you luck on your best man issues. If anything don’t let it cause stress on you.

I agree with the others; you're not asking anything unexpected of him. You're asking him to go to a tux fitting, not to go to every rental décor appointment with you! You agree to be in a wedding party, you agree to meet the bare minimum requirements (Get the outfit, attend the wedding/shower/bachelor/ette party) and not complain about it!

You are not at all wrong for feeling that way... He should not be taking it out on you guys because circumstances changed for him.

I wouldn't suggest forcing your FH to do something, but he really needs to offer him the option to back out... either because he actually needs to, or to scare him into realizing you guys think he doesn't want to be a part of it anymore... I think he's not realizing just how negatively it's coming across.

Also, a tux fitting can even be done online... get his GF to take the necessary measurements if it's really too much to spend 2 hours (max) to get fitted.

K....just going to say this...Its a pretty crappy friend that feels the need to inform you of how your wedding is inconveniencing them...monetarily or otherwise.

Here's the thing., He agreed to stand up with you guys. Meaning he's also willing to put in some kind of effort in the events/planning leading up to said day.

Straight up, I would just tell him that if your wedding is that much of an inconvenience for him, then maybe it would be best if he wasn't in the bridal party.

Sorry. I'm super no-nonsense. I don't have patience for wishy washy people.