Best Manzilla

View quoted message Well at least that is positive. Best of luck!

View quoted message Well at least his responses to my texts were good and he knows we need to move forward. I just hope he knows he has to commit to moving forward.

View quoted message Agreed. If his attitude doesn't change after the wedding, you should consider distancing yourselves from him. Although he could just be jealous of all the other guys getting married and moving on in life.

View quoted message I just sent him a message this morning. I waited until my fiancé had another chance to talk with him first again. I was very civil and explained why it may seem like my fiancé is pushing me coming to hang out because the wedding is 6 months away and that I don’t know how he will do a best man speech if he doesn’t know me or us as a couple. I’ll see how he responds. Another one of the groomsmen is also friends with my fiancé’s best man and that guys wife hates him and so he has negative thoughts I guess about me marrying my fiancé. So I told him he can’t judge me to be the same as her. Just so frustrating that it has to go to this length.

I would get his contact info from your fiancé and send him a message explaining why you want to hang out with him and ask him why he has such a problem with you.

View quoted message Because he is his oldest friend and I think because he feels party responsible for the friendship drifting apart. I just want to make sure I get to know him better before he can be in our wedding party and I don’t want to appear rude saying he can’t be.

View quoted message Ask your fiancé why he wants him to be the best man.

View quoted message I know and I’m trying to get him to work through things with his friend. I just don’t want to come across rude by saying he can’t be tbr best man.

View quoted message And this is the person your fiancé has chosen for a best man? Tell your fiancé you want him to ask this guy over for dinner or to go for dinner somewhere. If he refuses to come if you are there then you need to ask your fiancé why he is having someone who refuses to even spend time with you, be his best man? It’s not right and your fiancé should not be making you put up with it.

View quoted message That’s what I want, I mean he apologized when we first met about the way he acted and to me it was like all bs because he just goes on acting the same way. We would most likely have to trick him to get him to hang out with all 3 of us

Yeah it seems he's jealous. A lot of beat friends are like that. When I first met my fiancee s best friend he was acting like a jealous girlfriend. (In my case that went away with time)

I suggest trying an attempt to fix the sitiation. Have a get together with just you 3 so you can talk it out like adults. If his friend isn't mature enough for this you will likely have to cut him out.

Someone who has that big of a problem with you being around should not be the best man. Tell your fiancé how you feel.

View quoted message Awe yeah I totally understand! Especially if you already said it and then you met. It’s just so unfair to you!

View quoted message I don’t even think he was going to plan on giving a speech to be honest. I just don’t want to look back at our wedding photos and see someone who doesn’t support us. But then I feel how can I tell my fiancé that he can’t be the best man. I had said until we met that he wouldn’t be our best man and I felt real rude then and I don’t want to feel like that again.

Its hard to have a friendship that exists yet ghostly at the same time. Your fiance should tell his friend right up straight to get used to having you around and stop acting as a kid avoiding you.

You need to be respected as his half and not get treated badly. Suggest to your fiance to have his friend to come to the house and say he needs to talk to him. You be there too and he needs to be confronted to know you as a person and being part of the wedding party.

After the wedding, if you feel that his friend continues acting the same way, say he doesn't need that kind of friend disrespecting you onwards.

Something similar of a situation i had of a friend years back. She was a good person and we hung out outside the dance classes. We had good times gping out for lunches and partying. I invited her out to my birthday celebrations every year and showed up. Eventually i ontroduced her to my second family. Few years down the road, my friends and i got the turn downs for her not showing up because of her mix up of scheduling or something coming up last minute. All her excuses were running out and stoped inviting her on whole. My husband had met her at my on birthday party and instantly liked her.

My husband told me i was as a child not wanting to talk to her or have her around. My friends supported me all the way since they felt the same way as they were being treated that way deserted of course. I put my foot down hard every time he wanted to us to hang out.

She never made an attempt to even come out to where i moved or even call me throughout the years and always had to make things about her.

When we were getting the guest list started, my husband wanted to invite her and i refused to in the first place. Towards the planning to the end, i had ine couple cancel and so i wanted to fill some seats for numbers. My husband said he wants her there and i caved in with thr condition that i acknowledged she didn't exist to me. I was upset at him and never after since he doesn't bring up her name.

All this could relate in how your fiance's frindship with his friend can end beacause he will realize that you matter more to him than his friend in the long run.

View quoted message Yeah that would bother me as well! Probably so much that I’d tell my fiancé I didn’t want him to be the best man. It’s not fair to you, he really needs to smarten up. How will his speech go if he doesn’t know you as a couple?

View quoted message It’s driving me crazy that I can’t control it. I just know that I hate the feeling that he is going to stand with us if I’ve only met him once and he has such a sour attitude towards us as a couple.

View quoted message I’m just worried that even tho he’s going to talk I don’t think things much will change in 6 months. I think my fiancé doesn’t want to let go of this friendship because his friend has lost a lot of their high school friends and he feels bad that he hasn’t made more of an effort to keep in touch more. I’m also afraid my fiance being gentle isn’t going to get out what he wants to say to his friend.

This is definitely not something you can control. If that’s the way his friend wants to be then it’s his loss. Your fiancé should talk to him about it. I know mine would get upset if his was being the same way and he would say something to his friend about it. Sounds like he’s being immature. Life isn’t all about drinking. He should be making a bigger effort it’s sounds one sided to me and that’s not fair.

I’m surprised your fiancé even wants to be friends with someone like that! He sounds selfish and rude!! Like buddy, grow some balls, get over your sh*t and make nice with his soon to be wife. That is not how you treat people. He obviously is directing his anger outword and it should be towards himself.

Im sorry that you are having to deal with this. It’s not a great feeling. I am glad your fiancé is going to have a talk with him. It’s not right for this friend to crest rifts between you two.

View quoted message I do have his number and I think that’s one thing he is upset that he feels my fiancé is pushing for us to hang out. But I mean the amount of guys night out is a lot more than the times I have met him. He also has cerebral pulsy and I dunno why he acts this way. My fiancé wants me to let him handle it, but I’m really fighting the urge to call him and give him a piece of my mind.

View quoted message That is what we just did and he was calling his friend to talk about it all. He doesn’t want me to message his friend and I am very proud of the conversation he had with this friend. I’m also very frustrated because his friend doesn’t understand that there will be times we will all hang out because my fiancé doesn’t want to disclude me all the time. I’ve been trying to support the friendship and ask my fiancé to message him more. My fiancé dreads sometimes talking to him because he knows that he will get yelled at and then he starts to beat himself up about it.

I would get his number, call him up, and just talk to him. He obviously needs to get his feelings out, and maybe if you push and make that step to talk then he would be more excepting of you. I was in a similar situtation, but I dated my fiancé’s best friend years back. And when it came to it, he was refusing to talk to me. Or even being in the same room, and it out stress on their relationship. And then one day I cornered him in a store I saw him at and made him talk to me, a little aggressive, but I mean it worked. And now we can all hangout, or they can go for a guys night, and their is no anger or hard feelings

That’s a tough situation. Have you talked it over with your fiancé and told him how you feel? I know he would be very supportive and it can be very difficult with someone who just doesn’t want to give up their bestfriend.
Mom a little more confrontational and would just show up at his place and say “dude. You need to get your stuff worked out. I’m not going anywhere and I want you to understand (insert fiancé’s name) isn’t going to end your friendship because we are married. I want to get to know you and at least be civilized. We don’t need to be best friends but it isn’t fair for this to happen”.
Now if you aren’t comfortable with that approach I would talk to your fiancé and have him say that same idea (which I am sure he has already done) to set the record straight