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Pamela
Beginner September 2022 Ontario

Best Man

Pamela, on August 4, 2022 at 14:00 Posted in Wedding fashion 0 17
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How do you handle the best man not wanting to wear a shirt & tie? I thought this was pretty much expected. Don’t want to rock the boat as we are holding the reception in our combined back yards…

17 Comments

Latest activity by Pamela, on August 5, 2022 at 14:26
  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    I now understand why the bride goes bridezilla!
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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    I agree with you 100%

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  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    I think he’ll be fine once it’s happening. It’s be sad to end a friendship over a damn shirt & tie!
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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    Oh good, that's stress off your shoulders. Hope they cooperate until after the photos are done for your sake. Fingers crossed.

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  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    Whew! I solved it this am. Called him. Said what colour of shirts do you own….he said they are way at the back of the closet and he’d look. I mentioned the tie he said A TIE! I said where if for me for the pictures to make me happy because you know how I love to scrapbook….I think we’ve reached a compromise!
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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    It's your day and I hope they wake up and get out of this selfish mode, this should be a fun and exciting time and they are just ruining it.

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  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    One does wonder.
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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    Just wow, Like why are they making such a big deal for a few hours then they can change, and so what if it's partially their yard it's your wedding and they agreed to all of it. Are they not interested in seeing you getting married?

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    What kind of grown man refuses to wear something proper for an occasion that calls for it? God forbid he shows up to a funeral in a tank top because he wants to stick to his stylistic sensibilities.

    Just because it's a backyard wedding, doesn't mean you can't have a dress code. What is he insisting on wearing if not a shirt and tie, because without the suit jacket, it's already pretty casual.

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  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    I don’t think it’s a money thing. We aren’t young & broke. I think it’s a attitude. My partner is feeling cautious about offending him because we our using our combined yards for the reception. Now his teenage kids are apparently bringing their boyfriend and girlfriend, as his daughter said ‘it’s in our backyard’.
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  • Alyx
    Featured September 2022 Alberta
    Alyx ·
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    I got most back lash from men not wanting to dress up , luckily not in our wedding party but like my fiancés dad was not interested in dressing up.
    As a best man I think he can take one day for the bride and groom who have so graciously chosen him to stand by them on the biggest, most important day! Boggles my mind.
    It’s not like your asking him to wear a bikini top. It’s a shirt and tie. Set the specifics early of everything you would like and need him to do and if he doesn’t want to do it then he doesn’t need to be apart of it at all! it’s better than arguing and trying to compromise on everything little thing he doesn’t like. Maybe I’m harsh haha 🤷🏼‍♀️😬 I just think it’s ridiculous when you aren’t asking very much of him

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  • Jacquie
    Frequent user August 2022 Alberta
    Jacquie ·
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    I'd probably just ask him to no longer be the best man.

    Does he not want to pay for the shirt/tie? Maybe offering to purchase the shirt/tie if money is the issue.

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  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    Both. I even agreed to no pink. A nice light grey with grey tie. Trying to be accommodating. It’s only a best man, man of honour and ‘ring security’. Best Man 1
    Best Man 2

    That’s how we felt. It’s only for pictures and the ceremony! After I don’t care if he wants to put his damn pajama pants on!
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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    Well being the bestman it's a given that he has to wear what the groom wants him to wear, I would just say this is the dress code, we are giving them the option of tie or bow tie. If they don't want to wear the outfit then they can step down from the roll for someone who would be proud to stand up and not care what they have to wear. the fact you are allowing them to wear whatever after, then he can suck it up.

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  • Jenn
    Frequent user August 2023 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    Hummm.. Is it the tie or the shirt he has the issue with? Or the whole shebang? As you said, most people who agree to be in a wedding, know that odds of being in a shirt/tie is pretty high.

    If it's the tie that is main concern, maybe you can find a shirt in your wedding colour(s) that suits his personality but also doesn't take away from the aesthetic you are looking for?

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  • Pamela
    Beginner September 2022 Ontario
    Pamela ·
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    Tried that. Don’t really care what he wears after.
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  • Jenn
    Frequent user August 2023 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    Is there a way to compromise? Like maybe he wears the collared shirt/tie for the ceremony, but can wear something different after? Within reason?

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