Anxieties

View quoted message Thank you for the reply! Sometimes I feel like I’m the bad person for not wanting my fiancée for er family into the wedding but they keep @suggesting” people and mummy fiancée don’t know how to say no ...

View quoted message I do not think you are wrong at all. I totally agree with you. It’s not just your country that it’s rude to invite ppl when you’re a guest. That’s just wedding etiquette 101. Do not invite ppl to a wedding that’s not yours. We address wedding invites to the people who were invited and that’s it.

I don’t blame you for not wanting his exes family at your wedding. It’s your day, I’d want you to be completely comfortable and happy with it. However, it is nice of you that you were willing to bend and allow his ex sister in law to attend. But she is pushing it! She is just being rude and slimey and asking him for favours cuz “he’s a good guy” as if it’s not YOUR wedding too.

My husband had a child with an ex n I actually invited her and her brother because he had been close with the brother and actually stood in his wedding. Neither one came so it worked out really well lol I felt like I did my due diligence, n they didn’t end up coming. It’s tough dealing with ex situations! I don’t like what that ex sister in law is doing either

My fiancée is divorced twice. He has friends wth some of the ex family and his best man wife is his ex-wife sister.

So I was kind of forced to invite them, for my surprise he receive a text saying: "what about my daughter" from the ex-sister in law....

In my country is rude, not classy to invite yourself or other person to an event they weren't invited... we have a huge argument but at the end I agree to invite the ex sister in law daughter and her husband...

Well... unfortunately did not ended there... He receive another text from the same ex sister in law asking my fiancée to invite one of her kids and the plus one.

First, and I know this might sounds rude, I don't like to have my fiancée former family, who he divorced more than 10 years ago attending the wedding, but I just cannot accept that she feels she has the right to invite whoever she feels its a fit. And to work on my fiancée mind she writes" I know you are going to invite them because you are such a good man"

No no no no no no

I put my feet down and said I am not going to invite those people. Am I wrong?

That sounds terrible. She will get over it even if she doesn't like his family that much. As long as she's actually safe, you should feel comfortable going out. Not "should" cuz Im not a parent, I can't give advice. But I want you to go have fun lol. You-time is important, even if it's not alcohol induced.

I don't even know if I'll be able to. I may end up having to leave to go and watch my daughter. She's still getting used to his family so shes still a little awkward around them (they live in a different city 7 hours away so we see them randomly) and I don't know anybody else who will be out there (his hometown) who will be able to watch her. I'm hoping my mom comes down with us so that she can watch her for us.

I hope your stag is awesome (you get hammered) and you really let go of your last minute restlessness!! That's my hope for my stag lol thanks!! You as well!!!

Hey I grew up in cape Breton too! You got a lot going on with family eh??! It actually sounds like you have your wedding under control and that you know what you want. You're just subject to other ppls opinions and it can be annoying. Exes, and family for that matter, are almost always drama but I can tell you have a good handle on it and can be a calm in the middle of a storm. I'm sure your fh is a good guy and you have good support amongst what feels like negative support! Like your moh and your sister supporting your decision to make her mc even if she jokes about it.

Yep, just the two. I didn't even want a wedding, tbh. I just wanted to go to the court house and sign papers but he wanted to do it for his family. I'm quite proud with the amount that I have been able to accomplish so far in regards to wedding planning, especially with working full time hours, having a 7 year old and a fiance who's still currently in University and busy with his degree project. It has literally sucked the life out of me. Every waking moment I'm thinking about wedding or stag and doe related things. It's becoming too much, even though I'm done everything. I just feel like theres always something else I can be doing.

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time with your girls. Maybe talk to the one whos in high demand about how she would feel about taking more on. That way you can ensure what she can and can't do for you, especially with the other weddings shes in this year. She sounds like shes in very high demand lol

I agree with the whole not acting interested thing. Maybe it's because they've, or some of them, have never planned a wedding on their own so they have no idea what planning entails, and the countless hours, seconds, minutes that are poured into it.

I'm here if you need a rant!

You only have the two in ur party?? Good thing you're an organized and responsible person. That's a lot for virtually person! When it's over you can be extra proud of yourself for almost single handedly creating your dream wedding. I don't even know yet cuz the other person who I've known the longest is still 7 hours away and the others lady in my wedding party who I think is the most competent for the job is already moh and mc for two other weddings this year lol I'm her fourth wedding this summer. Apparently others feel the same way about her as I do! I don't know if I should put more on her. I think I'll wait and see who earns the title before I give it to them hahah. That amazes me when ppl are in a wedding party and don't act interested. A wedding is a big deal! And it's a pretty short amount of time you're expected to put ur friend first really.

She works a lot so we very rarely talk. And then she spends all of her spare time with her boyfriend. I invited her to come with me to the wedding show back in November but she didn't seem interested and told me she would have to leave to go see her boyfriends mom through the middle of it so I told her not to bother. Shes one of those girls who doesn't message you or call to ask you if she can help with anything, but then when you message her to rant about your stress she says that you can ask her for anything. If I try to talk about wedding I get one word answers or ignored. Same with my BM. She's irritated about us being engaged...its his sister (thats a whole other story). She was supposed to help with the stag and doe tickets.. not. I had to do them or they wouldn't have been done. What are you going to do about the no MOH situation?

Damn girl. I should hire you to plan my wedding. I have my venue, dress, photographer, officiant, and makeup artist.. getting married in Augustand I thought I was doing good hahaha. How's ur moh? I fired mine I don't even have one ATM.

The wedding isn't until next year, but my stag and doe is just a few months away and nothing is really done yet. I'm not supposed to be doing anything for it....Well, I couldn't even if I wanted to because it's in a city 7 hours from me...But if I could, I would! And I'd have everything done already lol I have everything booked for our wedding, except for my DJ, whom will be booked this weekend. And the only reason why I don't have that yet is because my fiance's friend was supposed to do it but has shown a huge lack in interest in actually getting any paperwork to us or giving us an exact price, which we asked for back in October.

Hahaha I find there always has to be a nonchalant one and a hyper one. I've been known to be anxious and controlling but ironically I had two bridesmaids tell me they're stressed out cuz there's so much to do and so little time. I didn't even ask them to do anything yet lol but they'd prob say I had a nonchalant attitude at that moment. I was like chill guys it's fine I have 6 months still they're like you don't even have a venue yet Bethany lol I do have one now tho hahaha. Are you feeling on top of things?? How long until the wedding?

Ok - 2 of my bridesmaids live away - one lives here & MOH is here - so theres that -
FH shifts at work are just picking up again - i made it very clear i am NOT paying for all this wedding by myself - so theres that

Everytime my mother asks about wedding - she asks me 20 questions - and most idk answer to - then it upsets me - and simply says good luck glad i dont have to do that again - in a condescending way - not a helpful way - i felt guilty she didnt come to bridal show - now i am glad she didnt
My father said other day to my brother"so glad i got rid of ur mother - i would of been dead long ago bc her social life was more important " ( brothers have different mom) - so of course my anxiety is up bc i am thinking " wth is he thinking about me getting married " - when in all technically my mom us his THIRD WIFE!
Then my sister says "u always said i would be your MOH - but i am happy being MC at dinner bc i do have a big mouth" -- i dont think they are happy with who my MOH -- who is reason why FH and i are together -- and have barely said anything since
Then theres the jack & jill i went to a few days ago - the music was horrible - barely anybody dancing - so i am looking at my MOH - please i dont want ours to look like this -
We r down to 16 months now - not only i have anxiety over my ex regarding ours sons graduation in 4 months - i know he will somehow someway punish me for getting married to FH bc he is a narcissist- i am not crazy - its not in my head - please dont judge

I got engaged same day :-))

Especially since I'm a horse trainer, my whole life is jeans and cowboy boots, I want to be girly for my wedding

That's supposed to say last two months of university. Not semesters. Good ol' night shift brain.

Mine is also my wedding party and my fiance's lack of enthusiasm. Granted, he's finishing his last two semesters of university, so I have to cut him some slack. And the fact that some people are so nonchalant about planning things, like if they let it sit there for a bit without planning anything that it will all work out in the end. It won't! I need EVERYTHING planned out way in advance to ensure its done properly. Drives me bananas when people are so chill about things.

I completely relate with the money. I shop at value village for myself and save a lot haha. But I want a classy, traditional wedding and I know I'm going over budget. It dips into my savings but like you said, I don't want a cheap looking wedding. The wedding planning can be stressful and thus it makes me restless so I don't sleep well some nights. I have dreams like my bridesmaids show up in blue instead of red or my photographer missed my ceremony so I make everyone do the ceremony over again lol. Brings a lot out of you wedding planning! Glad your hubby is being supportive and not just laid back. Mine is good like that too . If I can't make a decision I just pass the task along to him.

That's some strange advice hahaha the one day you absolutely don't want to wear jeans.

That's strange! What is he negative about I'm curious??

I got engaged on Christmas day 2016, since that day I have been having 3x the nightmares I usually have. They aren't even all wedding related but I know that is triggering the stress. I always knew weddings cost a lot of money, but I didn't realize exactly how expensive. I am a not a high maintenance, expensive taste kind of girl however I don't want my wedding to be cheap looking. That balance of affordable and nice looking is very hard to find. And don't even get me started on family issues but thankfully I feel like my girls are super supportive!!! My future husband is also helping out when I need it,which I didn't really expect to be honest. He is more of a "whatever you think babe" kind of guy. I also found a facebook group of international brides and brides to be, it's kind of nice to know you are not alone. Good luck in your planning!

I know what you mean, my other 2 bridesmen are super helpful, but my MOH looked at pictures of dresses I tried on and said I should get married in jeans and cowboy boots and put my dress money in a trust fund

That's so frustrating that he won't tell you what's up when you ask. Maybe he's excited for you but just not really interested in wedding planning our wedding talk. I know none of my gut friends care about anything but the open bar, they're excited for my wedding, just not interested in a single planning detail

I'm worried my bff isn't really into being my man of honour, he's been negative and then when I question him about it private he backpeddles and seems excited. Total mixed signals and I have no idea what to do!

You seem impressively calm and level headed given the extra emotions you have to put up from ppl super close to you lol. Kudos to you. Unexpected situations always create speedbumps huhhh. Maddening and frustrating but is what it is...

Yes it will be nice to have everything concrete then you can organize yourself and funds.

That's what everyone says but it has to happen for me lol. Everything is coming along nicely I think. Helps I'm getting married on a Tuesday!

75 percent is ridiculous. They charged us the price of the reception room so it was like 5 percent down. Sounds like your venue is fanc ayyyyy

Sometimes our anxiety will pull anything it can get it's 'hands' on to create doubt and worry. Anxiety so interesting .....

Same haha.. my fiancé jokes all the time that I'll be late for our wedding cuz I'll be too busy on wedding wire lol hold on I'm about to be a super bride!!

Hahahah oh that's better I thought that actually happened I was like goddamn! It's a fair anxiety lol. Maybe sister bear over there should be in charge of it while flying too lol