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Shawna
Beginner October 2021 Alberta

Another reschedule, or should we just say screw it and plan anyways?

Shawna, on March 6, 2021 at 09:59 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 9
When I looked today, our wedding should be 104 days away. Why do I have this feeling this is not going to happen?

And then on top of that, it's been a nightmare planning, if we decide to reschedule, this will be the fourth time. Do I want to have that conversation with the venue again? We've cut the guest list down, and the fear of only 10 people at the wedding is a possibility.
On top of this, no one wants to even talk to me about the wedding, my fiance included, he talks a bit, but then the annoyance of my concerns come in and I am forced to stop.
Is it only me that resents planning a wedding? At this point I don't even want it.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Shawna, on March 8, 2021 at 17:16
  • Shawna
    Beginner October 2021 Alberta
    Shawna ·
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    Thanks for the feedback everyone, I was having a bummer morning!

    We discussed and are in full-fledged planning, I am not opposed to a smaller wedding and it was one of the welcoming aspects of the restrictions,

    I think I was sad, because many of the fun things cant happen (bridal shower, bachelorette parties etc) but it just means we will plan many after-parties Smiley smile

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  • Savannah
    Frequent user April 2020 Ontario
    Savannah ·
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    Are you opposed to doing a small legal ceremony and postponing your reception? My now husband and I ended up getting married last year in an intimate ceremony at home with only our parents, witnesses and immediate family joining virtually. What at the time seemed like a huge pain and was definitely not what I envisioned my wedding to be it turned out to be a blessing as we are hoping all of our family will be able to be there. We too have postponed a couple times and my heart breaks everytime we’ve had to postpone, and my husband too is also not overly receptive in discussing the wedding/wedding planning either, but I try to look at the positive side of that we’re already married and got the legal part out of the way, and discuss with my maid of honour and my mom how I’m feeljng and we now get to look forward to celebrating with everyone we want to be there when things are better and hopefully there’s minimal/no restrictions (what’s a wedding without fun, mingling and dancing am I right?! 🤣).
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    The issue of not enjoying the moment of the day or time of wedding planning talk does seem stressful for others as you too. Its difficult to be positive to say what can work or go wrong feeling bad to hear it from your fiancé and others. Stick with the date to proceed on with an intimate wedding and postpone the reception for another date next year or the same day with the guests present. Sometimes the toughest decisions will be hard to digest and feel better to get out of the way. You two may as well get this done one way or another before things go sour.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    It seems like your venue is open to postponement since you've done it three times already. At least postponing hasn't been a war-like experience for you. Would having a small ceremony on your planned date followed by a reception in the future be an option for you?
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    If you’re okay with a small wedding then just plan for a few different scenarios. I know it’s more work but it will seriously be so less stressful knowing you have a plan no matter what. Have a plan A for 50 people, plan B for 20-25 people, plan C for 10, plan D for worst case scenario 5 people elopement (or whatever numbers make sense based on the restrictions where you live).
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  • Shawna
    Beginner October 2021 Alberta
    Shawna ·
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    I'm totally into a small wedding! That's not my issue, it's the exhausted planning and rescheduling,
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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    Are you ok with a potentially small wedding? If not I would push it until 2022. I totally understand your re-re-re planning burnout, it's really hard to constantly roll with the punches and adapt to changes.


    We did our ceremony when rules allowed up to 50, we had 20. My husband has said he really loved our tiny wedding, and that he was so glad that we had covid as a reason to have a small wedding instead of a big affair. So sometimes restrictions can be a blessing!
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    What you're feeling is totally understandable. I also think your fiancé probably feels the same way and that's why he doesn't want to talk about it. There has been so much uncertainty for the last year and it's so hard to predict how the next few months will go with the vaccines and the variants. It's almost not worth speculating how weddings are going to be in a few months and just leaving all of the planning to the last minute - which I get is also extremely stressful.

    Your mental health is more important than your wedding and it sounds like the stress is taking a toll. I think if it's getting to be too much to handle postponing is a good option or deciding to have a very small ceremony and postponing the reception is also an option.

    On the other hand, postponing could just kick the problem down the road if things don't improve a ton by your new hypothetical date. If you can plan for best and worst case scenario and everything in between it now so you have a plan no matter what, it might be worth it to just push through for the next few months.

    I'm very glad we didn't postpone our ceremony (we technically postponed our reception but we have no new date and we're just going to replan it once there is more certainty with covid). I felt a huge weight off my chest immediately after our wedding. We got married at the end of November and BC's situation went from being relatively okay to our strictest restrictions in the month before our wedding. We had to shift plans like 5 times in the few weeks before we got married (including changing venues, replanning multiples times and eventually scrapping our tiny reception, telling my family from Alberta not to come, and figuring out how to stream the ceremony for my family) and it was so stressful.

    If you're not okay with potentially having a very small wedding with restrictions I think you should at the very least start considering postponing again and set a date to decide what you're going to do.

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Are you going to be inside or outside? I doubt by June that you will be restricted to only 10 people. The news about vaccines has been so good. (Yes so good I'm afraid to hope some days). More people are getting the vaccine everyday and every time someone gets it, the lower the chance of restrictions and lockdowns become. All the new vaccines that are coming out mean more access to everyone. I was told to be prepared for an hour for my appointment but the ones getting vaccines into people have it down to about half hour even with the 15 minutes you have to wait. As long as they can get a steady supply it won't take them long. That being said I think June will be too early for a mask less wedding. You will still have to keep distance. Possibly the 50 indoor and 100 outdoors again. So I think you need to decide what you want for your wedding. If come January we still have a bunch of restrictions we have decided will have a microwedding in the spring. I refuse to spend what we would have to for a evening meal, open bar with no dancing or mingling. With our plan A or our plan B we will be happy.... I hope you can find something to get you excited about wedding planning again.
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