And Guest

No No NOOOO... I hate hate hate that people assume they get a plus one, open ended. Yes, the space/money part of it is a factor... but to us, more importantly, we didn't want strangers at our wedding! My husband wasn't allowed to invite any friends, or friend's girlfriends, without me meeting them first. The only person who came to the wedding (other than family members) that one of us hadn't met before, was one of his work friends, and he took extra photos and our ceremony video for us...

I would very clearly state to anyone who may assume that they can bring someone that it's their name only on the invite, and even put the 'one seat reserved' note or something.

My rule of thumb was: We have to know you. If you're not in a serious enough relationship for us to meet them, we don't want them there, and if you're not in a relationship, you're not allowed to bring a random date. Yes, we had a few single guys/gals... but everyone had fun! No big deal.

My cousin sat at a table with his two married brothers and his parents, there was room to put a seat for a date for him, but he's not in a relationship, so no plus one.

You almost have to oversimplify it, and DEFINITELY put your foot down. Do NOT waver where you don't want to! Do NOT feel guilty!!

That is super frusterating that they assume he's getting a guest. Is this cousin of yours over 18? If so, as per etiquette, they get their own invitation addressed to them and you can clearly put "Cousin's Name" on the envelope. The RSVP can have something like "1 seat has been reserved for you" and then they will understand that there is no "Plus One" for them to invite.

Its good that you asked and got to know he's single to avoid an extra name being printed. Hard to imagine that FHs aunt presumed he would bring someone else on your expense.

We have a really strict guest number so our parents and us made a hard and fast rule for all of our my FH's and I's cousins. If they are under 18- no plus ones. If they are over 18 they can have a plus one as long as they've been with that SO for a year plus. We made this clear to all of them as soon as we figured it out and they're fine. For our friends, so far we don't have anybody who wouldn't know anyone and doesn't have a long term SO. A few of our friends don't have SOs atm but will know lots of people so my FH and I arn't worried about giving them or not giving the a plus one when the time comes.
This is just whats worling for us so far! Goodluck!

OMG YES!!!!! I have the same question! We have limited space at our venue so if someone is not bring a date or can't we just invite that one person? Because to be honest i'd like to fill that space with someone that I know or another friend.

For cousins, I definitely wouldn’t have “and guests” especially if he isn’t seeing anyone right now! He will know family there so it’s not a big deal!
stick to your guns about who you invite/don’t invite - definitely don’t think you have to invite a guest for a guest that you wouldn’t know!

Yeah, no. Don’t feel obligated. If you’re not letting people have guests that’s your decision. He’s a cousin, he doesn’t need to bring a random date, he’ll know people at the wedding. Just make the invitation out to the cousin, without a guest.

Don't feel obligated!!!!

You don't owe anybody a plus one to begin with - let alone somebody you don't know!!!

My friend who is single isn't getting a plus one, she has said she is bringing her other friend but she can either come as one or not come at all. When numbers are as tight as mine, there is no room for people I don't know.

Our guidelines are: Either have to be married, together for 1 year by the time of the wedding (or close to it - if they are like 9 months... just use your judgement), or have met their S/O prior and approve/ get along. If I haven't met them and they are new to dating them - no invite! It will be addressed to people and if that person can't go, you can't replace them with somebody else instead. I'm also more than willing to let them know at the time of their RSVP.

(Our max. head count is 250 but our list is over that by 100 or so...)

Were doing the same thing! stand your ground! we’re doing a smaller ceremony and dinner, followed by an open reception. we’ve decided that our ceremony/dinner guests will only get a plus one if they are part of a couple; i don’t need people bringing some random person i’ve never met coming to my wedding. that being said, they would be welcome to bring their plus one to the reception/dance after dinner.

I think you're totally in your right to say no, but yea it is very hard. We had people also assuming they get a plus one but we have very limited space and if we count everything out it'll be also very expensive per person to have an extra person and we're not too happy to spend that money on people we don't actually know, buti it's very hard to tell people like no you can't...

We are giving our adult guests who are single a plus one. For us, the more the merrier but it also gives people who may not know so many people at the wedding to have someone with them that they do know so they are comfortable. Even if it’s just a friend, rather than a significant other.

From our standpoint! We gave almost all single runners a plus one! I know people will know others at the wedding but it's still nice to allow them the option to bring a companion or friend! For a lot of guest worries we have been in the mindset of "give them the option and let them decide" we are allowing kids but it's up to the parents if they want to bring them! we are allowing most to have a plus one but they can say no! (we've already had a few decline their plus one), if there's any drama between people we are inviting everyone and letting them decide if they want to come knowing who is on the guest list! I don't like deciding things for people and I want to make everyone as happy as possible!

Of course 100% up to you though! Just my input! I agree assuming you're getting a plus one is a bit off though....