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A
Curious October 2020 Ontario

Am I expected to pay for accommodations?

Amanda, on January 9, 2020 at 12:13 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 9
Hi,


Hoping you may have some advice/pointers.
My FH and I live in Europe and will be hosting our wedding in Ontario this year. We have people flying in and other local guests.
I'm willing to pay for accommodation for our MoH and BM (and their families - the each have 3/4 children). They are paying their own flights, but I thought it would be nice to pay for this.
Our location offers 6 bedrooms, which be enough for them and us. However, the locals are now also thinking we are going to pay for their rooms. This isn't normal - is it?
Anyone else paying for accommodation?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on January 10, 2020 at 05:29
  • A
    Curious October 2020 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate the feedback.


    Now to find a way to communicate it to the others 😂
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Curious July 2021 Ontario
    Lauren ·
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    I don't think that it is normal to assume that the bride and groom are paying for your accommodations.. I have had to travel for weddings and stay in a hotel (one hotel was just a 2 hour drive away, and another was a 6 hour flight and 5 hour drive away) but never once assumed that the bride and groom would be paying. I think that is just ridiculous to assume. You are already being incredibly generous by paying for accommodation for your MoH and BM and their families!

    My advice is this: Call some hotels in the area of your wedding to get a room block rate. This is a small discount for most likely 10-20 rooms in the hotel. You may need to so this for 2 hotels depending on how big they will allow your room block to be. Once you have this arranged, send them the website/phone number of the hotel where the discounted rate is available for them and let them know the deadline to book by before the rate is gone.


    Then you've done your due diligence in making sure they get the best rates without paying for all of them!


    One last thing I will say is.. At one point when we were looking at venues, one of the venues we really liked forced the wedding party to book rooms in this one section of the hotel that was very expensive. We were thinking about paying $50 for each room for our bridal party to make it a bit easier for them. But that was ONLY for the bridal party and ONLY because it was super expensive. We didn't end up choosing this venue, and will not be paying for any guest rooms at our venue as the prices are quite reasonable.

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  • Melissa
    Frequent user June 2022 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I live in Toronto but I’m from England, so all my family and friends will be flying here for the wedding. I am not planning on paying for their flights or accommodation. As much as I would love to, I simply can’t afford it! I don’t think anyone would be expecting us to pay for them anyway. Weddings are expensive enough as it is!
    • Reply
  • M
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Monika ·
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    I have been a guest at several destination weddings (Italy, France, Jamaica, America). I have had had to pay for my accommodations every single time and have never had a problem doing so! It is definitely not your job Smiley smile

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Only read the title and my first response before reading the rest: NOPE! Not your job.

    After reading the body of your post: I would say that since you are travelling to Canada that it is very nice of you to be paying for your wedding party - this could and should be considered their gift for being in your wedding party IMO and that is being more than generous with that gift.

    Everybody else? Tough toe nails, you aren't made of money!!! Make a room block so that they can all get like a $20 discount - ya, it doesn't cost anything for you to get a room block set up for your guests. The most we were offering was that we had land that people could pop a tent or bring their travel trailer/ 5th wheel onto... that and we got a bus shuttle for everybody who wanted it from the city to the venue which was an hour away (and back of course!) but that only cost us like $1,000 all in.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Guests attending usually pay for their own rooms unless parents of the Bride/Groom offer to pay for them as they are family coming from afar. Most weddings attended in our family and extended relatives arranged the room block to let guests pay for their own rooms.

    We had that arrangement done for our family and friends so that it didn't effect our budget overall.

    Couples that feel their budget is affordable to pay for guests to stay, its always nice to go out of your way to do so. Reservations under the resort, hotel or other places may have it in their contract that the rooms are paid by the couple otherwise.

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Im not paying for anyones accommodations. but what you can do to bring the price down is rent them an air bnb might be cheaper if they have big families and u need to rent so many rooms at a hotel

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    The friends that we have flying in I told them not to bother with gifts because they're spending money to come see us. I never offered to help with flights or accomodations.
    I think it's lovely and generous that you're paying for the housing of your moh and bm. People asking you to pay for their accomodations seems quite rude to me, you wouldn't expect the bride and groom to put gas in your car so why is this ok?
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Expert October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Michelle ·
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    I wouldn't expect a couple to pay for accommodations if I was attending a wedding in my city. Most will reserve a room block at a hotel which gives their guests a chance to book at a discounted rate, however the guests are responsible for paying for their own stay.

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