All the gifts...

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This is exactly what we are doing as well. I feel it's a waste of money and resources to have wedding favours that guests will most-likely not use. I purchased some nice Candy Buffet accessories which we plan to use at our engagement party and wedding. I'm sure our families would love this and appreciate these much more.

I agree it's gotten totally out of hand!! As if there isn't already enough to spend money on, now we have all these things to buy too. I never even heard of bridal party proposal gifts til this year, last time I was in a wedding party friends just asked you. Even my mom says she feels bad for my generation cause its become a circus of consumerism that now costs a small downpayment on a home to have a nice wedding in Toronto. It's ridiculous if you ask me, just another way for stores to get us to spend more.

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This is spot on lol.

I agree - the one that got me was the 'bridesmaid/groomsman proposal gift'. Like - Jeez, can't we just ask? Which is what I did, actually...and since I was stupid excited when I got engaged, I didn't even wait to do it in person, I did it on facebook messenger! A bit gauche, perhaps, but my friends and I aren't that formal!

I haven't even thought of favours for the showers and other parties and...jeez. Yeah, not in our budget.

We will be doing thank you gifts for our groomsmen and bridesmaids (we've capped it at 75$ per person) - this will include the jewelry/ties we want them to wear, and a few individualized gifts for each person (an apron for someone who likes to bake, etc).

We will also do small thank you gifts for our parents, and a small day-of gift for each other.

We have a candy buffet at our wedding which is also our favour to guests.

View quoted message Haha that sounds amazing!!!!

It is getting out of hand! Consumerism does that though. We did wedding party gifts and favours for the wedding. Our favours were the centrepieces, so we were able to save a bit by using the item twice (we did potted plants as our centrepieces and favours). My MOH hosted my shower and she did little favours for the guests.

I agree! We are doing wildflower seed favours for the wedding to give back to the earth.

Other than that, we are getting the girls swell water bottles and the boys flasks the day of and im buying my MIL a necklace. That's it for us!

Also forgot to mention the wedding which points were used on their gifts and paid the taxes only. They all received perfumes and men got cologne sets.

Gifts can be whereever you want to give. Among all events from buck&buck, wedding, wedding party, welcome and reception. These were the following things done:

Guests/Family at the venue received welcome bags with some snacks and bottled water. Information package with a welcome note, activities, dinner directions and timing and wedding day timing.

Guests and family received a crystal tealight votive holder with tealight at their seats. One per household/couple/individual aling with a thank you card.

I think it goes both ways though too. Couples have stag and does, engagement parties, wedding showers, bachelor/ette parties and the wedding, guests spend money on or give a gift for most or all of these events. It’s all a lot of money either side of the fence you’re on! We didn’t do favours at the engagement party or shower and just kept them really small. We did have a couple games and have a prize for each.
We’re not doing much for our wedding either just wine on the tables and cupcakes but no real favour per se.
I don’t expect a gift from my fiancé on the wedding day. I did get him one but it’s a surprise, I’m not telling him and if he doesn’t get me one and it saves us money I’m ok with that haha

Yeahhhhhhhhh. Over it as well. Don't forget paying for the rehearsal dinner. 💩

Oh jeeze I'm only doing like maybe 3 on that list! Wedding is enough already!

I'm not doing any of these.

We're paying for the bridesmaids' dresses and groomsmen's ties and pocket squares. As we're not asking much else of them other than standing by our side on the day of, I feel like that's plenty enough (and I think that at least half of our party would refuse gifts - one even insisted on paying part of her dress).

Our parents are helping a little, but again they're really not expecting gifts.

When my fiancé saw the wedding gifts for each other on the checklist, he just asked what was the point of them (and I agree with him). Our gift is each other, and the honeymoon I guess.

As for favours for guests, I don't remember receiving them at any of the weddings I attended, so I don't think they're much of a tradition here. And we're already paying for everyone's meal.

I haven't heard of all of these either. and I'm in a border town. and have a lot of US friends. and barely any of these were done.

Bridesmaid and groomsmen proposal boxes - my FH just asked his guys. easy. I did buy my girls a funny card and a tie the knot bracelet (5 bracelets cost me like 15 bucks on amazon)

Favours at your engagement party - never ever heard of

Favours at your bachelorette/bachelor parties - bride never does this. I've seen the bridal party do like a lil cheesy welcome bag (like hair ties, penis lipstick, shot glass etc).

Favours at bridal shower - usually something small (I gave out chapstick when I was my besties MOH)

Favours at weddings (probably doing this though) - doesn't have to be over the top. just a way to say thanks. we are doing a donation to a charity. and then a tiny bag with 5 or 6 Hershey kisses in it saying "hugs and kisses from the new mr and mrs"

Mom and dad thank yous (k...I get it. Thank mom and dad for helping you. They've probably done a ton, and maybe even helped you financially with the costs. I just know our parents, and they won't want us to spend that money on them.) - I think here again...doesn't need to be a large expense. I think the most important part of it is writing your parents a note and thanking them.

Bridal party thank yous (of course doing this) - definitely! they do so much.

Day-of gifts for future husband/wife - again a nice gesture...but not necessary. we haven't decided on this..but definitely I am writing him a letter.

Oh man, it is super overwhelming, especially when you want to get it juuuuuust right.
We just asked our bridal party peeps if they wanted to be involved. We're budgeting for about $125 per bridal party human, and are going to use that for their outfits on the day of. No extra gifts, I might get some robes to be cute in while we get ready.
I'm going to make something super cute for our parents and write them each a special letter/thank you note.
For wedding favors, I'm going to be making sage bundles with some sage collected with my bridal party, as its a part of my culture that I want to share with my new family members. They'll be tiny bundles (about half the size of a bar of soap) and will need money for twine and hole puncher thingy for the cardboard cut out I want to use. So like....$20 total?

It doesn't have to break your bank! Think about how you can DIY stuff, or share something personal with your attendees. If you still want to do all those gifts, maybe look into amazon or etsy for some siiiiick deals.

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Okay...straight up you just gave me the best idea for a bachelorette party...."death of your single life"? Imma have an irish wake...

I will honestly say... I am one of those people giving out gifts for pretty much everything. But most of them are small and inexpensive gifts.

We didn’t have an engagement party. So no gifts there.

We didn’t do proposal boxes for our bridesmaids and groomsmen. We gave them an envelope that had a nice personalized card in it asking them to be a part of our bridal party. Nothing fancy, but a little keepsake if they wanted.

For my bridal shower, I gave out coffee mugs that were tie-dye painted in our wedding colours. I paid maybe $1.50/person.

For my bachelorette party, I gave all the girls a shot glass with their name on it. $3/person.

Our parent gifts were a little on the expensive side. But I wanted to do something really special for them, so I knew that budget was going to be a little bit higher.

Our groomsmen got flasks and a pair of socks for the wedding, and our bridesmaids got a personalized hand bag and a getting ready robe.

My gift to my FH is a boudoir album. Those are a little pricy, but it’s something he will always have that is just for him.

As for our wedding favours, we are leaning towards doing something food realated. Maybe with a little thank you token attatched or something. Anyone who wants something more can take one of the centrepieces home. (I purchased everything myself, not renting anything). So that won’t be expensive at all.

We also got gifts for our flower girl, our ring bearer, and our MC. And we’re still thinking about doing something special for our siblings.

Giving any gift is just a way to say thank you. But they don’t have to be expensive. But you don’t have to do it if it’s not your thing! I totally understand where you’re coming from saying that it seems kinda insane. Some people go way overboard and expect something outrageous. But as long as you keep it simple, it’s just a way to say “thank you for being here today”.

So you don't need to give half the gifts on here:

Bridesmaid and groomsmen proposal boxes - Not necessary. You could just ask them by inviting them all over for a nice dinner at home.

Favours at your engagement party - never heard of doing this before.

Favours at your bachelorette/bachelor parties - WHAT?! really?! also never heard of this before. It is a time where your friends and family celebrate the "death" of your single life, you don't need to thank them for that.

Favours at bridal shower - a nice small gesture but shouldn't be anything big.

Favours at weddings (probably doing this though) - again a nice small gesture.

Mom and dad thank yous (k...I get it. Thank mom and dad for helping you. They've probably done a ton, and maybe even helped you financially with the costs. I just know our parents, and they won't want us to spend that money on them.) - we just gave both sets of parents a multi-photo frame to put our wedding pics in.

Bridal party thank yous (of course doing this) - understood. They do a lot for us.

Day-of gifts for future husband/wife - we nixed this in favour of spending a bit more on our honeymoon. I mean isn't it already enough that you are giving yourselves to each other for life?!

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It is insane. but you really don't need any of it.

So many weddings MUST have entertainment, or photobooths or crazy lights and floor decals.

We did minimal decor and none of the above and no one noticed!

I didn't do most of these!

I don't get the proposal to the wedding party thing. We gave the guys a cigar each, but that's cause my husband wanted to smoke with them to celebrate! I just gave the girls a ring pop each and asked them to be by my side! Cost me like 5 dollars max.

We didn't do favours at the engagement party.. I've actually never heard of that one before.

I've never heard of favours at the bachelorette or bachelor party. The Bride or Groom isn't supposed to pay for anything at that! (that being said, I totally paid for myself and gave the girls all necklaces.. mainly cause I saw them and really liked them)

Bridal Party favours - we did them. Well the person hosting the bridal party did them.

Favours at wedding can be anything! We just did simple book marks. You could also have a sweet table and provide bags so people can take some home!

We kept bridal party and parent thank yous simple. We're just giving our dads some pictures framed from the wedding as their thank you.

And we kept our day of gifts simple and heart felt. I made him a book of our relationship and he actually did the same thing! It took time but not a lot of money. Many people also just do notes as well which is lovely.

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It's probably totally an American thing... Even West coast/East coast Canadian weddings have such different "customs" or traditions... Like I'd never even heard of a Jack & Jill or Stag & Doe until I came on here. We don't do any fundraising activities in BC for weddings.

Engagement Party: Celebration. That's it. Starting to get bombarded with wedding questions, and a mini party with friends & family.

Bachelorette Party: Party. That's it. Haha. It's just a party.

Bridal Shower: Showering the bride, getting excited about the wedding, etc. Starting to get those awkward questions about when you're gonna start having kids.

Wedding: Big day. This is when you'd give a little something to your guests to thank them for everything.

Althought Walmart.ca did put out a Bride Tribe line of goodies recently, and I'm having a really hard time controlling myself from buying it all... Haha.

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"You don't need to bribe them" LOL! The wedding party proposal boxes are a cute idea. But yeah...super unnecessary. We just asked our friends.

The gift thing doesn't stress me out, its just a little shocking seeing how commercial weddings have gotten. And once you get engaged, all the ads tailored for a bride planning a wedding is pretty crazy "you need this, you need that, your wedding has to have..."

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I'm in this facebook group, and maybe because the group has a lot of Americans in it...(I dunno.. is the crazy gift giving thing more American?) but I keep seeing all these posts like "what are you girls doing for bachelorette party favours? spam me your ideas!" etc, and I find myself just going "wow....wouldn't have even thought of that." Because, yeah....isn't the idea of a bachelorette that the girls at it pay for the bride and throw her a party?

It's most because of marketing. Ask an old couple or your parents what they had for their wedding and it won't be as grand as anything today. A lot of it is ridiculous

Small wedding favours I can understand but I think everything else you can do on a case by case basis and family and friends will understand. I think everything depends on the relationship you have with them and I don’t think anyone actually expects gifts at or for all those things.

I’m not getting my bridesmaids gifts but paying for their dresses and bling as I can get them for a lot cheaper than they can. We didn’t have engagement party favors at our party and I’m not getting special presents to ask my friends to be in my bridal party. It’s an honor to most people, you don’t need to bribe them!

Favours at an engagement party sounds kind of ridiculous, it’s like having two weddings.

Even day of wedding gifts for the spouse is something you and your FH can put a cap on or limit to something handmade or something meaningful like a love letter.

You can also say you’ve donated money to a charity in their names in lieu of gifts, but no one needs to know exactly how much ... seen that at a few weddings.

Just do whatever you feel comfortable doing and pay what you feel comfortable paying. Just show your appreciation with your words and thank you cards for everything else. Don’t let it stress you out.

I totally agree... most things are unnecessary. Our bridal party "proposals" were glassware (stemless wine glasses for girls, scotch glasses for boys) with "MOH, Bridesmide, Best Man, Groomsman" on one side, and their initial on the other. I have a vinyl cutter at work, so we got dollar store glasses, and the whole thing cost less than $20 (for 12 people, plus bride/groom, and we did some for the parents).

We didn't have an engagement party at all, to save money, but if we had, I would not have done favours.

No favours at the bachelor/bachelorette parties... what? Who does that?

Bridal Shower: probably not. We will have a few prizes for games, but you're being given food/drinks, there's no point to favours there.... I've never seen anyone do that.

Parent gifts: yes, but small. Dads (my dad and step-dad) are getting socks with a note about an important 'walk', moms, maybe something small like jewelry, and bridal party, I'm just giving the girls robes (not written on, plain for re-use), and maybe glammed flip flops.

Wedding... yeah... but something that's not too wasteful... Nothing gimmicky, cheap, or useless. We are having a winter wedding, so we will be doing individual hot chocolate mix cones.

Day of gifts: I was seriously considering getting my FH a new watch, or boudoir shoot. Now I know 1st year anniversary is paper, so I think I'll save the photo shoot for then. I don't want to be giving each other expensive gifts because it's our wedding day, I'd rather get him the watch at Christmas the month before and just exchange love letters on the big day

I guess that's my rant on gifts, haha. I figure when you spend $20K on a wedding, people should expect cheap little gifts every time they show up... haha.