aita for not having a second small celebration for out of town guests?

This is the second wedding for both me and my fiance. I just found out that my side had a discussion behind my back about how it was too expensive for them to come (they live 4 hours drive away). My sister was part of the discussion and suggested that since it's my second wedding, to just have a small ceremony and then two small celebrations, one with his side and one with mine (closer to them, so my fiance and I would be the one driving 4 hours). My fiance and I go to visit my family once a year and my family never come my way (or if they do, they don't contact me, with the exception of ONE of my cousins). I have also made the effort for them by going to 3 of their weddings and 1 baby shower. I am very hurt that 1. they had a discussion about me behindn my back. If they had a concern, they could just decline or discuss it directly with me, and 2. that they aren't willing to make an effort to come to my wedding after my fiance and I put in effort to go see them every year. So, AITA?