Advice

Do not stress about the amount of people on each side of you. It's who you have, not how many! It's not a competition, but seeing him have more people can be disheartening...but don't let it get you down. My fiance has more guests than I do and I was feeling that way, but then I also realized his "side" was mine too!!! That helped me deal with it a lot. That and knowing I'm picky with my friends, and that's reflected in the man I'm about to marry this year...picky and feel fortunate!

Remember it's your day to celebrate your love to one another with those you care about most being with you.

Don't stress about trying to find 3 more people, I have 3 bridemaids and my fiancé has 2 groomsmen. Odd numbers work out! Think about how you can have your two bridesmaids split the 5 groomsmen. It definitely does not have to be equal - that's old fashion. Definitely do not add 3 girls just for the sake of matching - those positions should be filled with people you hold near and dear to your heart. If its just the two that will mean more to you in the end.

My fiancé only has his brother, sister in-law and niece attending our wedding - think of it this way, you are now part of his family. Just enjoy the company of people you have, they are all apart of your family now! Friends and all.

Maybe do a small mixer with some of your invitees with his so that they get to know each other too. Makes it less awkward.

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I honestly felt the same way worrying about all the things that are supposed to matter in a wedding. Let's face it, we all can't help it but go down that path especially when things weren't how we expected or imagined it to be.

Just remember, that everyone is coming to celebrate the two of you and your love. They are getting together to share into your love, family and friendships along the way. I personally felt I've had a full life in terms of my friendships but when it came to the wedding planning, I really couldn't think of who I wanted up there and I just went with my gut and the people who made me happy.

The number wasn't what I thought it was going to be but I'm happy knowing I get to share these awesome moments with my small group of friends. I think it will mean a lot more than putting a face up there for the sake of having someone. Less people means less difficult decisions too!! Also, so far I've been planning with the two girls (I've got 3) and they've just been so supporitive and helpful. Isn't that all we need?

Sorry you are feeling upset about the guest list and bridal party.

I honestly feel that the numbers shouldn't matter. I know that traditionally there are an equal amount of bridemaids and groomsmen, and that it looks nice for pictures etc. But you are able to do things however you want. If you don't want to ask additional ladies to be your bridesmaid just because, then don't. Set each bridesmaid up with two guys, or depending on the way you want your ceremony to be, the men can be lined up at the alter, and the ladies can walk down individually. There really is no protocol for the way things have to be.

I think that the most important thing is that you have the people that are closest to you with you. It's truly not about the number of people it is about the people who you have decided mean the most to you.

For our initial guest list, it was about 60% my side and 40% his, and I had 4 bridesmaids while he only had 3.

After invitations and RSVPs went out, more of my side declined (I had some obligatory invites while he didn't) so our day was more 50/50 but it wouldn't have mattered any way, as long as you are celebrating with those you love/are close to. Your FH might have more declines than you since his list is bigger, and while it might hurt, try not to let it bother you too much.

As for bridal party, you don't need to choose 3 others if you don't know who'd they'd be. It's totally ok to have an unbalanced wedding party.

View quoted message I mean personally, I still would. Just because it puts you in an unfair position. They can be involved in other ways. Like one two of them can be MC's.

View quoted message All thegroomsmen are his brother like blood brothers so I couldn’t ask for that at all.

Honestly, I was kind of in a similar situation. Sometimes you just need to be honest with him and let him know that you dont have anybody else to ask to be in the bridal party that he is going to have to drop 3 groomsmen. It's all about understanding and compromising.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling upset - this should be a happy time! I think just focus on the fact that all of his family will become yours. I think out of our 100 guests, only 30 are my fiancé’s. For the wedding party, some of “my” people are on his side because he has less siblings and a smaller friend group. The important thing is you have all the people you love and care about to celebrate you, and so does your partner! 💕🥰

Awww sometime this whole wedding planning, makes us sit back and reflect. I have had some moments of my own. I try and remember - I love him, and want to marry him. However our wedding turns out, it will be epic because I am marrying him.


Friendship & family is about quality not quantity. Your circle is small and that is OK!!!
Your bridal party sides don’t have to be equal.
If you can think of 1 more bridesmaid.
MoH and best man together2 of his groomsman can walk with each of your bridesmaid.
If you can’t think of another bridesmaid - that’s ok too. Best man can walk alone, and bridal party dance with his mom. You will figure something out.

I wouldn't worry about his big family after all once you say I do they are your family too. So technically all family is there for both sides 😊. I have more friends that will come but I have lived in Niagara Falls most of my life where hes only been here a few years. Most of his close friends are in Greece and while I'm sure they would love to come it is a lot of money and we don't expect them to make the trip.

Aww I'm sorry you are feeling so sad about this! I totally get feeling bummed to see that your spouse is going to have many more guests than you. Just remember that they will all be so excited to see you, celebrate you, and spend time with you! The bride is the bell of the ball, no matter who's guest list is bigger! My FH's family is WAY bigger than mine. It doesn't really bother me - it's just the way it is!

The wedding party thing is tough. If his 5 groomsmen are all his brothers then that makes it really tough. If 4 of them are brothers and 1 is a friend, I think you should ask him to ONLY go with his brothers and no friends - just explain how it makes you feel. If all 5 are brothers... Is there any way that one of them could be the officiant? Or one be the MC of the night? Maybe one of them doesn't have a lot of money and would be relieved to not be in the wedding party?

I personally don't think you should ask other people just to make the numbers more even. I only really have 3 friends in my wedding party - the other 2 I asked are sisters (one is my FH's sister and one is my brother's partner). Not that I don't care about them, but it does make me feel sad that I don't have more friends to be in my wedding. So I get it.

I guess overall I don't exactly have the right answer for you or the best advice.. But going through our wedding planning process, it does remind you both of the amazing people in your life, but also of the people who aren't in your life (whether it be friendships you no longer have, people who have passed away, or something else). It can be sad. I have been going through that. And I think you should be allowed to feel sad about that. But I think it's important to feel happy about all the amazing people you have in your life who will be there to watch you marry your best friend!

Our guest list is about 80% my FW and 20% me! I live in Toronto but I’m from England, so all my family and close friends are back there, and I don’t expect that many of them will be able to fly to Canada for the wedding. It did make me kinda sad at first, but all those people on my FW’s side will become my family too! Like another commenter said, the most important thing is that you’re marrying your love 🥰. As long as you have your most important people there for you, it doesn’t matter how many of them there are!

View quoted message Stuart’s the hard thin I was never popular or had any friends legit only have one friend still in contact since high school and my sister which I’m not sure she’d want to be a bridesmaid cause she’s very shy and a home body she doesn’t even come to visit because they don’t feel comfortable going outside.

Oh no dont be upset!! he just has a bigger family but that doesnt matter cuz they will ALL be there to celebrate BOTH of you!!! my bf has more groomsmen then me and i dont mind at all. i dont want to pick random people just to have an equal number as him.

I'm pretty sure his guest count doubled mine... I have one sister and only 3 first cousins compared to him and his 15 first cousins.... It adds up but that's okay. Now we both have 18 first cousins!

It really hurt when the number of people invited on my side kept going lower and lower since most of my family is from 5 hours away and couldn't make it to the wedding. In the end it doesn't matter who is there (although I did cry over the fact that my family couldn't make my wedding a priority), it just matters that you are getting married to the love of your life.

It sucks - so I don't think you are over reacting about it, but there isn't really much you can do about it (unless you start telling your FH he can't invite family because you don't have a big family like him )

Your not over thinking the guest list as we had the same. I have grown up in a big family as my husband in a small family. Most of his family i met except for those that live in another province that i didn't meet.
As for bridesmaids, put a list of friends or relatives your close to that you may want to be part if your day.

We’re surprisingly fairly even. I have a bit more family but he has a bit more friends so it works out. And we want a small wedding so it was easy to pick 2 each for the wedding party. I originally picked 3 but he couldn’t come up with a third who was as close as his other two.


Don’t feel small because he has more people on his side. It’s not a competition! And most importantly: his family is your family now too. But if you want maybe try to compromise on the wedding party. If you can’t, see if there is someone from his side (a sister, cousin, girlfriend of his friend etc) that you could ask

He has way more friends & family then I do. I don't mind. I did want to to at least invite some of my friends from back home, but after thinking on it I scaled it back even more as I don't talk to too many of them anymore. His family is my family & when planning birthdays/holiday dinners & such, alot of the time his family asks me first/gets in touch with me when including us.
Agree with others, if you don't want have more than 2 on your side, then that's all you need. Lots of people have uneven bridal parties. & Depending how far off your date is, you might get closer to someone who you'd want to include.

I have more people invited than my fiance, and likely more attending as his are all across country. And this is the exact reason we decided to go with no bridal party, just me and him. I didn't want to choose between my close friends and family and he would have less because of the travel distance. We have his nieces and my nephews in the wedding and his best friend marrying us. Other than that no bridal party. My friends are more than welcome to get ready with me and so are his, I just didn't want the stress or hassle for either of us to choose.

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Ahhh ok that is fair! I get that for sure.

View quoted message So he has that many because it is hos brothers that’s why so I don’t think making him choose is an option and I wouldn’t want to ask him to choose what brothers he’d prefer.

I don't think it has to be even - it is just how the families are really. Our guest list is a 70/30 split on my side. I have a HUGE family, he has less than 10 people, but more friends on his end. There were no hard feelings about it!

And I agree that the bridal party does not need to be equal on both sides - but I also agree with maybe asking your FH to scale back? You don't want to add bridesmaids just for the sake of it IMO and there are other ways to ask people to be involved in your wedding. I also had to do that with FH, had to ask him to short list groomsmen because we were already at 4 and that is just to much cost.

I wouldn't worry too much about an uneven guest list. After all his family and yours are about to become one!
I have more people than my fiance, and most of our mutual guests were my friends first.

As far as picking your side of the wedding party it doesn't have to be even. Just because he has 5 people doesn't mean you do too (think quality over quantity! 😉) If it really bothers you, you could ask him to scale back his groomsmen and perhaps give the other guys a task like emceeing.