a Lists and b Lists

I have heard of A list and B list for Wedding invitations. Save the dates are pre invites in being unformal.

View quoted message 100% agree with this!

View quoted message

For friends you could always not do save the dates.

we didn't do official save the dates (we didn't want to spend the money. and we knew guest list may change). so for the people that live far away from us that we know would not change on our list. we messaged them to tell them the date to give them enough notice to make it.

NOOOO. If you receive a Save the Date, you MUST receive an invitation. Do NOT send a STD to anyone who may not be invited...

As others have said, etiquette indicates to send a STD to ONLY those who will be invited to the ceremony. So no, don't send to the B list.

View quoted message Great thanks!

View quoted message That’s a fair thing to be worried about. But it can happen with invitations too. (Someone on A list gets an invitation long before someone on B list) I think no matter what scenario you are in, it can happen. If no b list opens up for you, you can have people offended you didn’t invite them. Sometimes it’s best to be honest with people and tell them your space/budget is limited but you’re hoping some of the obligatory invites will be a no so you can have room to invite more friends. Guest list is a tough one to deal with for sure!

A list gets save the dates, b list does not (in case you don't get that far).

What if some friends are on a list and some on b liat and they see the others got a save the date and they didnt lol... Am i worried too much?

View quoted message

That's exactly what I was thinking too. My A listers are definitely getting a save-the-date, but not my b-listers because that's awkward to ask them to be free but not invite them

I will be doing an A list and B list!! lol but no - I will not be sending out Save the Dates to the B listed people. Not everybody sends out Save the Dates in general but if you get one - you tend to expect an invitation a few months later.

Only send a save the date to people who are definitely getting an invitation to the wedding. You don’t want to insult people by giving a save the date and then they don’t end up being invited to the wedding