Who gets to speak?

We did have speeches at the reception given 2 minutes max per MOHs and 1 Best Man (who was forgotten about to call up) and myself on behalf of my husband. I felt bad because my Best Man did practise and the DJ didn't have his list which I should have had on hand. It was kept simple and easy since my parents wouldn't have said much and gave them great appreciation along to the family/in laws.

View quoted message Yepp, definitely proceed with caution if your family likes to talk! Haha. The cocktail hour idea is really nice too! That way you don't have to worry about time. Goodluck!!

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You are right - I like the rehearsal dinner idea where I would probably let my step parents speak and the wedding day I will leave to just my parents.
Thank you so much for sharing !

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OMG I LOVE the open Mic idea... Yet it scared me because coming from a hispanic family everyone wants to talk, and that would be a long night for all of us hahaha. I think I am going to take this idea and use it for any guests who would like to say something - I would get them to say it during cocktail hour on video so my FH and I can listen to it down the road & no one is stuck listening to people speak, yet everyone can have their sentimental moment lol

View quoted message I feel like if it’s a collective speech it’s okay! Like I don’t think my dad will give one because that’s just not who he is, so I think my step mom will one in his place. Another idea that I think is great, is if you have a lot of people wanting to speak they could always give their speeches at the rehearsal dinner!!

We only had our MOH, BM, and parents speak (gave them a max of 5 mins each). There was some extra time after the planned speeches so our MCs opened up the mic for anyone else who wanted to say a few words! It wasn't planned but we enjoyed it because we didn't know who would get up. Only one brave soul got up but it was well worth it as he had a hilarious speech.


If you do decide to have an open mic, you can build it into the timeline (ex. Allot 20 mins), set rules (ex. Keep it short, no roasts, no swearing, etc) and you can keep it a surprise from the guests so that they can't prepare e.g. it's short and truly genuine!

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I LOVE speeches too, UNLESS they get to to long.
My parents are also Divorced and I am not sure if I should be letting the step parents speak or just my parents, I feel as its almost offside to let the step parents speak.. What are your thoughts on that?

I love speeches so much, I used to bartend weddings at a country club and it was always my favourite part of the day! They were always so sweet, even the awkward ones would make me tear up!lol
We will have our MC who is also a bridesmaid, my MOH and likely his sister (who is also a bridesmaid) on my fiancé’s side I assume just his best man (who is also is brother) his friends might collectively do a speech but I have no clue as of now! His parents will say one (if his dad can through it without sobbing lol) - he was a mess for his first 2 children’s weddings. My parents are divorced so I’m honestly not sure who will speak, my dad is not the sentimental type so I’m thinking my step mom will read the speech with my dad standing with her and I think my mom will also say one!

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Short & Sweet wins it for me haha - I will definitely take the suggestions of others with the setting a time limit for speeches, on whoever I decide to allow to speak.

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I agree - I think setting a time limit is a good idea & I know I will HAVE to enforce that with my Father lol

I am thinking we get our two eldest siblings to MC the evening (my sister, his brother). And speeches will be from my other sister, my best friend and MOH, and each of our parents. My FH has a lot of close friends, so if someone wants to say something, we're okay with it. As long as they are short and sweet!

View quoted message Haha! I'm actually so amused by this. I never really thought about it, but I guess I'm glad I don't have that problem. I already had enough issues with the whole bridesmaid thing

We want to keep speeches down to a minimum. I honestly hate speeches at a wedding no matter how close I am to the couple. We will (as in me) definitely do a thank you speech. MOH and BM can do a quick speech as well. The MC can keep things moving. We'd be happy with all speeches being around the 5 minute mark.

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See, that's not a bad problem to have! I on the other hand have to tell people NO as I don't need speeches dragging on, I want people to enjoy their night.

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Yes I was thinking about having one of my Grandparents MC since they are very LOUD individuals and hyper might I add... but don't want to have to choose one and offend the other. I may just let our DJ MC as originally planned.

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Oh my gosh hahaha - That sounds like a few people I know.
That sounds like it will be wonderful!

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Oh I really like that idea at the rehearsal instead!

I know my parents, mom in particular, will want to speak and I will extend the offer to his parents also. I don't think I'll have anyone else on my side that would want to speak. But I will ask my close cousin and my friends if they want to do they feel included. He also doesn't think he'll have anyone that will want to speak. Maybe his one friend, if any

We are still quite a ways out, but we know we are going to have qch have one sibling co-MC. We also are thinking of having my fiance's cousin officiate (though how we will balance that out on my side I have no idea......).

Speech wise from family, it'll just be my mom and her dad. I want to get her mom to join her dad at the mic but during my future brother-in-law's wedding, she disappeared to the bathroom for half an hour to avoid going up on stage Fiancee's sister is the MOH so she'll say something as well.

View quoted message I should also share that I have a large family as well (4 sisters, a brother, and 2 step-brothers). My Fiancé has 3 siblings as well. If they would like to say a speech at the rehearsal dinner we'll let them combine in a 5 min timeframe (each having 1 min)

View quoted message Glad I could help! 🥰

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This sounds perfectly planned! Thank you so much for sharing!

Hi! We're having his parents say a speech together (max 7 min), my parents say a speech together (max 7 min), our Best Man (max 5 min) and my two MOHs (max 5 min, they will split their time in half to share). Speeches will be done in between courses too so everything is spaced out. I.e.: between salad course and pasta, one set of parents, between pasta and main, another set, between main and dessert, MOHs, and right after dessert, BM. Then we will say a quick speech together thanking our guests, the venue, the other vendors, etc. Hope this helps!!

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We haven't figured out that part out yet but I'm leaning towards that idea. Just so we don't having speeches going on forever!

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That sounds lovely... Are you putting any time limits on them or are you letting them speak freely?

My fiance and I are planning on having my MOH and his BM speak. As well as my parents and his parents having a speech at our wedding next summer