Emma
Frequent user September 2022 Alberta

Where are my shy brides?

Emma, on June 24, 2021 at 14:01 Posted in WeddingWire 0 17
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Now that we've postponed twice, I feel like the anticipation has built our wedding day even more, to the point where I'm VERY nervous, in particular for the ceremony. My fiance and I are very private people, and despite only having 25-30 guests and aiming for a casual event, I am terrified. I've also only been to one backyard wedding, so I don't have much to compare to and feel caught up in what people will "expect" of it.



Is there anyone else out there feeling like they could very well pull a "runaway bride" out of sheer nerves? I'm over a year out (for third time) and I wish we could just get it over with!!

17 Comments

Latest activity by Ricky, on July 1, 2021 at 19:28
  • Ricky
    Newbie February 2024 Ontario
    Ricky ·
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    I don't know if I would describe myself as shy, but others certainly would)

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  • Rayanne
    Featured January 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    There was a time that I thought of myself as painfully shy. I forced myself out of that by taking a drama class in high school. Now I just don't care what anyone thinks. I've never enjoyed being the center of attention but somehow I do have myself all excited for this day. That being said we are not the type to show ourselves to others easily so we are only doing the traditional vows definitely not adding stress by doing our own. Just remember every person there is there because they love you and mean something to you. They are there to support you. If your emotions get the better of you and you cry, laugh or mix up your words they will think its endearing. They are there to share your story. Take it easy on yourself everyone there will be smiling and encouraging.
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  • Crystal
    Newbie April 2022 Alberta
    Crystal ·
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    We too have post poned twice. I've always dealt with anxiety, and was extremely anxious about our 200 guest wedding.. The ceremony scared me the most by far. So, now we have decided to have a smaller wedding, as my social anxiety is even worse after dealing with covid. But we didn't know where to start to cut our guest list, so now we are are very much leaning to a wedding in Banff, AB. We live in NW Ontario, so that should shed a few guests off our list without having to uninvite people. Plus, added bonus is a trip with those we love. Much needed after covid. Hoping the 3rd time is the charm for both of us!
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Your situation reminds me of this.

    My fiancee is the type who wants the booth tucked by the corner at a restaurant so she definitely felt jitters when we were originally planning 250 people. But I think a big part of that is because there would be around 100+ people that she's not super tight with. Now that we're aiming for a 25-50 person wedding, every person there is more or less someone she has a relationship with and that will ease things.

    Her parents are also super shy so I think she inherited that from them Smiley xd

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  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
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    Hello Emma! 👋🏾
    I am a shy person as well, however, my fiancé would say otherwise. Haha! I don’t like much attention either because I feel my anxiety take over. I am feeling excited but definitely don’t know what other feels I will have until I get closer to the day. My feelings are always delayed. Hahahaha! Anyways… I know it’ll be easier said than done; but in this case if you’re walking down alone think about how amazing it will be to marry your favourite person. Just keep all those lovely future vibes thoughts and how you’ll make the best of your big amazing day with your close family and friends.
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  • Stacey TC
    Featured August 2022 Saskatchewan
    Stacey TC ·
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    I'm quite extroverted but I hate being the centre of attention! I'm hating the texts about "how'd he propose". I haven't posted anything on social media and am keeping it that way as long as I can.

    Our engagement has been almost 6 years (due to health & other unplanned things) and I hated people asking "when are you getting married?" so far only the people we've invited know we're (finally) getting married. If it were up to me, I'd elope.

    I'm having fun planning because I love planning things and events, but I'm sure once we get closer to the day I'll be really anxious.

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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma ·
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    I think more and more people are scaling back nowadays. I've heard so many people who hosted large weddings say that they had no time to even get around to chatting with all their guests and were run ragged the whole night! I think it'll be less intimidating to "perform" in front of only those we're super close with.
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  • Gift
    Frequent user October 2021 Alberta
    Gift ·
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    Honestly! Same for me. Lol. 😁
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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma ·
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    I would probably push for eloping more if we hadn't planned so much already 😅 It's too late for us lol
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  • Gift
    Frequent user October 2021 Alberta
    Gift ·
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    My Fiancé is a very calm, shy and reserved person but I’m the opposite lol (social butterfly); that’s the reason we are having a small wedding just like yours (35-40 guests) 😊


    However, he’s robbed off on me. I’ve thought about eloping multiple times 😅
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    It's so funny, I see so many women on here who wanted to elope or have a small wedding but their male partner's weren't on board. But everyone thinks women want these crazy elaborate weddings and men are the ones who don't care and would rather elope or do a tiny wedding. Obviously not true for everyone or probably even most people, but I hear it from others so often! It was so funny having family/friends "console" me on not being able to have our original wedding when it actually ended up being closer to what I wanted lol Smiley laugh

    I loved walking together and totally recommend it if you're both on board. It felt so much more intimate and it was so nice to just spend the entire day together and not be separated. I would have felt so awkward being alone right before the ceremony and then having everyone stare at me haha! I think once you're actually in the ceremony your nerves will calm down. It's one of those things where the build up of nerves is more intense than the actual thing and you're more just excited during the ceremony to be married. And you'll have your partner beside you the whole time for support!

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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma ·
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    Ugh I hope I feel this way. I can't help imagining standing in front of everyone just feeling very self conscious. I think being all "done up" may also give me some confidence. I'm glad you went ahead with your wedding, it sounds amazingly intimate even with the streaming!
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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    Both my husband and I are shy people, so even for our original guest list pre-covid it wasn't going to be over 50 guests. We played with the idea of postponing a second time but at that point we had gone through so many changes and stress that we started feeling like "wanting to get it over with" and that's not how we wanted to feel about our wedding. So we went ahead with our June 12th date in my in-law's backyard with 14 guests which included us and vendors. Because there were so few people there, everyone pressured us into streaming it online which I did not want to do because we were both relieved to have such an intimate wedding. We did end up streaming it though, and to be honest once I was walking down that aisle and saw my now-husband I completely forgot that we were live streaming it and had no idea how many people were watching and didn't care.

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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma ·
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    I wanted to elope as well but my fiance wasn't on board, sadly lol. I absolutely love the idea of walking down the aisle together now that you mention it!! I had never considered that. I planned on walking down alone but the more I think about it the more I think that is contributing to my nerves.


    Our ceremony will also be very short, we aren't doing personalized vows or anything so just some pretty words from the officiant, which is another thing that calms me down. Basically after those 20 minutes of ceremony I think I'll feel much more relaxed and able to enjoy the rest of the evening.
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    I don't know if I would describe myself as shy, but others certainly would. I'm quite introverted and didn't want my wedding to be a spectacle all about me which is why I wanted to elope (and would have if my husband also wanted that, but he didn't lol). So not quite a runaway bride situation but more of a take my husband with me and get married in secret kind of thing hahaha. Sort of a silver lining of the pandemic is that we ended up having a super small ceremony with just 6 guests and it was much closer to what I originally wanted.

    I think what helped me feel better about it was I got my husband on board to walk down the aisle together rather than have me do the typical bride walking down the aisle toward the groom and we also just said standard vows. We had a very short ceremony and the attention was never put on just me or him. This was the plan before the pandemic happened so we would have done it this way whether we had 6 guests or 100 guests.

    Don't let other people's wants or expectations dictate how you feel on the day of your wedding. Just do what feels right to you and your partner. If that means you have a very short and to the point ceremony then that's what you should do! Or whatever else you want or need to do to make yourself feel comfortable. There's no point in being uncomfortable or nervous just to please everyone else because this is about you and your partner.

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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma ·
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    Awe! I hope your confident eases her nerves at least a little bit. I fully expect both of us to be blushing through the whole event
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    My fiancee is super shy. One of the reasons why I'm here instead of her lol

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