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Newbie October 2023 Newfoundland and Labrador

What to tell people?

Kimberly, on August 16, 2021 at 09:29 Posted in Before the wedding 0 5
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Hi Everyone


I've been finding myself stressed lately as I work closely with patients in an extended health care field and I've had multiple clients say "Why bother having a big wedding? Why not just have something tiny in your hometown (1hr away from my town) in someone's house? Is your Dad paying for the whole thing? Save all that money. It's only a day"

Usually I can shrug it off but with other stress I'm going through, this hit hard today when I had an older client who was opinionated. I do work in extended healthcare so I need to bite my tongue a lot but I felt the need to justify and I feel it came up short. I joked around saying I was spoiled as a kid but it wasn't enough to push off the conversation.

Ultimately, I want a larger wedding because I feel like it's one of the greatest days of my life and it should be treated as such and my relationship should be celebrated. I grew up around big weddings and expensive displays. I was raised in a small town where a small wedding would hurt my family and I hate the thought of a small wedding but I don't want to come off as selfish, snobby or unappreciative. I also don't want to put down small weddings as I know that's what some people prefer and although it's nice for some, I don't like it at all.

In summary - How do I politely explain to people why I want a big wedding without running a tangent or getting defensive but still respecting others and not closing out the conversation? And has anyone else ever experienced this?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on August 26, 2021 at 12:02
  • Megan
    Frequent user July 2023 Ontario
    Megan ·
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    I have found that people get all excited about their wedding and then once they have been married for a couple of years they tell everyone the "wedding is no big deal" it's super annoying. My brother in law was downplaying the meaning of getting married and I'm like....you had a big beautiful wedding? Why are we not entitled to the same thing?

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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I also work in Healthcare. I have been married before (small disappointing) wedding and I have decided that for ONE day of my life I'm putting ME first. While we are having less than 100 (so not overly huge wedding) we are having everything we want. It is nobody else's business. Honestly after everything the world is going through right now I can't tell you how many of our guests have told us that they are so ready for a party and a reason to celebrate. We are having the wedding we want for ourselves and for our families. We are paying for it. We want what we want. We don't want to have regrets for what we should have done. You don't owe your clients an explanation. If you feel like they are too critical of your life just don't tell them about your wedding. Enjoy your planning, enjoy your day don't worry about others.
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  • Brittany
    Devoted December 2022 Yucatán
    Brittany ·
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    I would say it is something my fiance and I want and leave it at that. You don't owe anyone an explanation really. Whether you work for them, your co-workers, family and friends. If they keep pushing you can tell them you are uncomfortable and you do not feel like talking about it.

    I understand how sometimes they just want to talk, which is fine, but do not feel the need to have to go in to detail about something like this. It is your personal life.

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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    I hate when other people say this to me as well. My fiance and I have postponed twice now and a lot and I mean a lot of people are like "oh why don't you two just get married and get it over with. It's just another day" To us it's not just another day. It's a day to celebrate our love for one another and we want most of our friends and family there with us to celebrate.

    Also I'm very glad we did postpone this year to next year because the forest fires in BC especially in the Okanagan area are really really bad right now.

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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    I would say something like this what is custom/normal in my family and it is what my Fiancé and I want to do.
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