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Curious August 2020 Ontario

What in the world?! Planning just went bonkers.

Emily, on October 18, 2018 at 09:30 Posted in WeddingWire 0 8
Well hello everyone. Kinda needed a “safe place” to vent because wth just happened with our planning?! I will try to keep it short. We have 4 bridesmaids and 4 grooms man. 1 of the bridesmaids is our daughter so she’s a junior. We were just informed two of our bridesmaids are pregnant and will be giving birth less then a month before our wedding! As happy as I am for them I’m also super disappointed because they won’t be able to be apart of all the pre wedding shenanigans we all had planned and our weekend away with them all but asured us they would be at the wedding. Bummer and major plan changer. Giving the fact I’m super close with these lady’s I took it as inconvenient timing and disrespectful once I was told they were planned pregnancy’s and neither filled me in on there pregnancy plans. Literally 2 days later one of the grooms man and the not pregnant bridesmaid call it splitsville and pretty much hate each other at this point and because all of us lady’s are friends the two pregnant ones compiled a shitty lie against the groomsman which have turned people against him all Completely out of left field. Great. And then... yes and then. Our photographer cancels because she’s pregnant and doesn’t want to bring baby along to have to breastfeed ect. Totally get that but it still sucks because we really liked her. And to put the cherry on top my dad and his girlfriend just enlightened us they are getting engaged at Christmas (which will be at my house this year) and plan to get married right after us. Like a week later. It’s a set up for drama since my mother doesn’t like his girlfriend and she thinks it’s super rude how there going about it when it’s “supposed to be our time to shine”. Wth??! I’m just super annoyed, disappointed and frustrated. Please tell me it will all work out some how! 😫

8 Comments

Latest activity by Courtney, on October 22, 2018 at 20:55
  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    Wow.. talk about VERY unlucky timing.

    I get it though - of course you're excited for your friends and having babies, but its hard when you envision things a certain way. What if you guys plan an AFTER wedding/baby celebration? Your friend-moon to celebrate your wedding. It's a bit unconventional but could be a lot of fun, and help avoid any disappointment with a bachelorette party in advance.


    As for the couple who split - it sucks but if I were in your shoes, I think I'd pull ALL the bridal party together and ask them to be civil for your wedding. Hopefully your fiance can help you with that.


    Your photographer situation sucks, but at least you can find a new one! And I'm sure they'll be even BETTER!


    As for your dad... I do think that's crazy selfish. A) That's making Christmas about them and B), talk about ending your time for their time with the weddings so close. I would probably ask my dad to wait to be honest - it's not a first marriage.

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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
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    I don’t even have anything helpful to say. I just feel so bad for you and all this drama. I really hope for your sake it smooths over. The planned pregnancies really should’ve been mentioned when planning the weekend away but at the same time I kinda get why a person would be hesitant but like it just really sucks from your end!!

    The bridesmaid & groomsmen need to grow the f*** up and be civil for your wedding day #SorryNotSorry but it’s part of the job.

    And I’m just honestly super irritated that your dad would do that to you. Like what a selfish thing to do!

    All the the best wishes to you with your planning. I hope it smoothes out!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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  • E
    Curious August 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    The groomsman and bridesmaid who just split will have to get over it in a sense because, well he’s one of my brothers and I won’t exclude him and the bridesmaid is a good friend and I wouldn’t want anyone else standing up there with me so I need them both. We would just have to switch up where they stand so they don’t end up near each other I guess and I suppose I’ll have to be a B* and not invite the new girlfriend so it doesn’t cause problems. Good lord please help me to achieve this wedding being peaceful. 🤦‍♀️
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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    Wow that's all so insane and I am so sorry this has all piled on you at once!

    It sounds like everybody needs a conversation for a) the entourage to stop acting like children and b) for your dad to consider how their wedding will make you feel. I think if you sit everyone down and talk about how all this is impacting you, hopefully they'll see that while their own plans/drama are all great and wonderful, yours are valid and must be considered too. I'm sure that your father will see that his spiteful behaviour is hurting you, and that your entourage will realize that they've been unfair to you with everything that's happened.

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  • E
    Curious August 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    Oh my goodness it’s just craziness. The photographer is a friend so we didn’t do up a contract of any kind because it was going to be her gift to us and we would just pay the secondary photographer she brings with her. However we do have someone else for our engagement session so we are going to talk to him about the wedding date.


    My dad and his girlfriend just blow my mind. They haven’t even been together a year come the time they have said there getting engaged. I know they will be for sure because they’ve already purchased there rings. (I was there🤦‍♀️) there just being so inconsiderate. We pushed back everything for ourselves I found out, because my fh had planned to propose and my brother popped the question out of the blue to his girlfriend days before fh had planned to propose to me and then got married 4 months later so my fh husband held off to not take any lime light from them and there day. I didn’t even know this but apparently my mother did. My dads being spiteful because fh and him are not close and he didn’t ask his permission before proposing to me but he asked my mother. My dad has made comments about this. Along with some other very tasteless comments. It’s going to blow up even more when I tell him my step dad will be walking me down the aisle with him too. He doesn’t like my step dad but he’s a huge part of my life. So too bad.

    The dresses we were covering the cost of but now but now I just don’t know since we weren’t going to get them from a bridal shop but now we have too so the cost of those just went way up so we can allow for proper alterations. Which will be needed because there all short and have big boobs so alterations are a must for a bridal shop gown. And we’re not sure if we should just keep the weekend away and just invite other people or just cancel it all together and figure something else out.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    My lord. I am so sorry to hear all of this - or read all of this I guess.

    I can't believe that the bridesmaids were aware that they were planning on getting prego and didn't think that it was something that you ought to know! Like - what?? Well if it wasn't obvious, they should be the ones to pay for the dresses if you already had a payment down for them... and that if they are to be apart of the wedding party then they will have to be all yours on the day of the wedding (pump your milk ahead of time!! lol).

    I agree with Casey about the bridesmaid and grooms man that split. There should be enough time for things to settle down but I understand how this doesn't help what is going on around it all.

    Photographer - I get that, and at least she is giving ample notice? Don't suppose you have it in your contract that she would be the one to find a replacement for you? I have heard of that being a thing, but you could also ask if she knows anybody good?

    Dad and GF.... are you for real??? I would have no problem with a proposal at the Christmas, but to have the wedding for the same time area as yours?? What is their problem?? I wouldn't even like it if my own sister was to get engaged and then marry a month before or after me. Find your own time, you are busy enough being my MOH.

    May I suggest having a relaxing weekend complete with a candle lit bath and wine? lol

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Oh my goodness! I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I completely understand what you are going through with the pregnant friends, that can be so frustrating. But maybe you can work around it? Plan a more low key weekend with them, and then party with some other people later?

    As for the 2 that are not very happy with each other, on the bright side, a lot can happen between now and your wedding day and they may become more civil with each other. If not maybe they can just suck it up for one day for you!

    Try to think positive through all this! Did you already sign a contract with your photographer?

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  • E
    Curious August 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    Maybe I should just clarify that my frustrations with the whole pregnant bridesmaids thing comes from the fact they sat down with us as a group and planned the dual bachelorette/bachelor weekend away party knowing they were pregnant and couldn’t go, now we have to cancel things and change plans because the guys don’t want to leave pregnant wives behind. Understandable I suppose. It also throws a wrench into the dress plans because now we have to change those as well.
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