Sorry in advance, this is a long one!
So my MOH (and best friend) basically asked me if she was going to be my MOH right after I told her that we got engaged. Basically, taking that surprise opportunity away from me, but whatever. We originally were only going to have witnesses, and therefore, no big bridal party duties. Then, my fiance said I could have a bridal party, and he will just have his brother as his witness. So I asked 2 of our mutual friends and my little sister and her boyfriend; they all accepted as bridesmaids and bridesmen. My best friend became the official MOH.
So since about May of this year, my MOH's phone has been acting up, and she had it sent to Samsung for repair. She did not have a phone for 2.5 months and claims she doesn't remember her passwords (or birthdays apparently) to her bank, email, facebook, instagram, etc. She says all her passwords are linked to her fingerprint reader on her phone, which is probably true, but still (read on)!
So eventually she got her phone back in August. She missed my birthday, but I did get a belated wish a few days later. We were supposed to meet up but that fell through. We were able to text and call each other Aug 8. I keep texting and no replies. She could call out but could not receive calls.
Then her texts stop working and we were using WhatsApp to communicate. WhatsApp works until August 29. The checkmarks are grey meaning they are sent but not read, to this day.
Last week I was able to reach her but she was busy and would call me back. My fiance reached her the next day at her work and tells her to call me. She said she did the day before but I didn't get any call; she didn't even leave a voicemail. Now it's radio silence. I've tried contacting her at work, leaving msgs with her receptionist for her to call me back. Nothing. We have not seen each other since March. She says she researched centrepieces and dresses and would email them to me but she never did.
Oh, I also was able to email her at work and that worked until I never heard from her. My little sister works at the same company but a different location, and told me that their emails are not screened, but my MOH told me she never received any of emails after the first email conversation we had. About 2-3 weeks ago when WhatsApp was working, I told my MOH that my little sister works at the same company as her, she called and they talked and then my MOH told me to set up drinks with me, her, and my sister. That's when her WhatsApp seemed to stop working.
So, I don't really know what to think. I don't think I did anything to make her mad at me, but I really feel like she is dodging me. She has never made an effort to get a new email address to communicate that way, get a loaner phone and/or another SIM card (I could have given her a loaner phone!), tried to visit me knowing I work from home EVERY DAY, etc. My aunt has sent everyone a bridal shower invite, and I'd like to know if she got it and if she's coming or not. This was mailed out. I sent a pic of one of my extras to her WhatsApp in case she claims she never got one.
I was 99% sure it really was her phone, but she does have a house phone, so why wouldn't she call me when she gets home? But this week, that percentage is less than 50% right now and I just don't understand why there is this virtual wall between us, especially when she literally asked to be MOH.
I would like to get everyone together for dinner and have ONE discussion about bridal party stuff, not 5 different conversations about the timeline of the day, who is staying where the night before, are they driving down, attendance for the rehearsal and dinner, etc.
So apparently it's a faux pas to fire a member of your bridal party, but was is the protocol when they are the ones not communicating and you can't get a hold of them at all?? Should I be chasing her down to the ends of the earth? Do I just move on without her, do I replace her role, do I address her absence when she feels like getting in contact with me? It's not like I'm avoiding her because why would I be leaving msgs and blowing up her phone every day to try and get ahold of her?
My fiance says to cut her out altogether, but how?
Any ideas would be appreciated! Also, please tell me if I'm being a bridezilla, because I have tried my best to not be one, but maybe my thinking is becoming bridezilla-like and maybe I should cut her some slack? I'm thisclose to asking a psychic what her deal is or hire a PI or serve her with papers or something!
