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Christine
Newbie October 2019 Ontario

Wedding with an anxiety disorder. Anyone else experiencing it?

Christine, on June 5, 2019 at 18:47 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 16
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So I’m getting married in less than 5 months. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder a few years ago and have been struggling with anxiety for over 15 years now. I’ve started thinking about how I would feel on the wedding day because it’s getting closer. I have an irrational fear of fainting or being sick in front of everyone at the ceremony. I know, I know, it’s all people who are there for you and love you BUT like I said it’s an irrational fear. Has anyone else experienced it? I was thinking of taking something like Xanax or Ativan (very low dose obviously because I’ve taken it before and I know what it does) the night before and maybe the morning of the wedding. I need to ask my doctor for a prescription but I’m afraid she’ll just brush it off because “it’s normal to be nervous on your wedding day”! I know it’s normal to be a bit nervous, but right now that’s all I think about and it’s getting exhausting. Please share your stories if you’d like Smiley smile

16 Comments

Latest activity by Spor, on December 17, 2021 at 10:34
  • Taylor
    Devoted October 2021 Alberta
    Taylor ·
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    They make these scent sticks for anxiety. it calms you without drugging you. even try doing some daily meditation. I have PTSD and GAD and I understand the feelings of panic. For me its how will I pull this off on a extremely strict budget or if people will enjoy it being as its so different from any normal wedding. No alcohol,no music (maybe quiet background music),no dancing,lunch instead of dinner,no wedding cake,having my dogs there,no exchanging of rings, its hardly a wedding i feel and more just a family gathering. I keep telling myself that it will be fine and people need to realise that its not about the event and stuff happening but more about helping me and my FH celebrate our love and future life together. But it still feels like im planning high tea instead of a wedding

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  • Christine
    Newbie October 2019 Ontario
    Christine ·
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    So I saw my doctor last Friday and explained to her how I felt about the wedding and everything. It turned out that she was the one suggesting I get anxiety medication. Just knowing that I have the prescription now makes me feel so much better!!
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  • Mickey
    Newbie August 2019 Alberta
    Mickey ·
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    Since my usual anxeity reaction would just be to throw up aggressively for like 72 hours prior to an event until I blow a bunch of blood vessels and look like I have the chicken pox, or be unable to move from a panic attack I just always have ativan on hand. My dr prescribes me like 15 and then checks in at my regular appointments to see how many I have used and if my anxeity is otherwise controlled. I also need them becuase if I am really freaking out it is hard for me to go in to the dr without them. I rarely use them but it is nice to have if needed. Honestly if you have generalised anxeity disorder and your dr doesn't want to treat it so you can live your life, I would get a new dr. I have had drs like this. If you are just not wanting to talk to your dr becuase your anxeity is making you worry but you logically know your dr would help, maybe see if your fiance will go with you or make the appointment. You could even show them this post so you don't have to describe your worries again. I totally get where those feelings are coming from, but it is important to remember that it's just your brain chemistry is a bit outside of where it should be and not a reflection on you or how you feel about your fiance or the wedding. If you had low iron levels they would prescribe you supplements and this is really no different.
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  • Audra
    Beginner October 2019 Alberta
    Audra ·
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    I battle with anxiety, and am getting married in less then 4 months. Mine isn’t really over the day, but everything I have left to do leading up to the day. I’ve got all my vendors booked, and my dress finally arrived. However, I’m a hardcore DIYer. I’ve bought all these supplies to make all these things and have almost zero time to make any of it. I live 5 hours away from family and my wedding party, so I don’t get much help.

    What I've been doing to try and combat this is I made a list of what’s left to make, and organized it by priority. I then assigned each item hard deadlines(I’m a bit of a procrastinator too 🤦🏼‍♀️) and if I don’t have it done by then, it comes off the list. This way I can keep myself in check.

    My anxiety hasn’t gotten the best of me yet, though I’ve definitely had a few moments where I’ve had to sit and cry it out. Fortunately, my fiancé is so understanding and knows all about it. She’s able to talk me down when I’m getting a little overwhelmed, and keeps me in check.

    Whatever happens though, your day is going to be so perfect and you’ll forget all about the stress leading up to it. Hold onto that thought.
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  • NATASHIA
    Curious July 2021 Ontario
    NATASHIA ·
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    My wedding isn't for (nearly) two years and my anxiety is already is causing more than enough stress. Anytime I mention anything wedding related to a parent (mine or his) I instantly get a pit in my stomach. I hope you find a solution that works for you. I suggest asking your doctor, worst thing is she says no. However, if she has been your doctor for awhile she should understand that there's more than just wedding jitters.

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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    My mom has taken small doses of xanax for certain events to keep herself level headed and I honestly think it's a great idea! If you're this worried about it already I would personally go for the prescription. I'll tell you now the stress and anxiety gets worse the closer you get to the wedding so a small dose to help is well worth it!
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  • Christine
    Newbie October 2019 Ontario
    Christine ·
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    I’ll tell our officiant! I haven’t thought about that. Thanks Smiley smile
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  • Carly
    Curious September 2020 British Columbia
    Carly ·
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    I also have anxiety and sometimes its overwhelming. Someone can say something to me and I will over think it and work myself up. My older sister got married in 2016 and I was apart of her wedding party. I had a minor anxiety attack at her bachelorette weekend since I only knew a few people and really wasn't comfortable. Then on her wedding I was so nervous since I had to walk down the aisle first. It was only supposed to be a quick ceremony but the officiant went on and on and I was standing there shaking and sweating since I was so anxious. Once the ceremony was over while they were signing the marriage certificate I leaned over to one of the bridesmaids and asked her if I looked ok. I remember her telling me i looked liked I was white as a ghost. I had been fighting passing out for 10-15 minutes since I didn't want to ruin my sisters day. My suggestion to you is talk to your officiant and let them know. If you are wanting something quick and simple explain why. I have told my officiant so that she is aware and keeps it quick and simple.

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  • Christine
    Newbie October 2019 Ontario
    Christine ·
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    Thanks everyone! This is super helpful and it makes me feel like I’m not alone. I‘ve been taking Celexa everyday and it’s been helping me a lot. We are doing a first look! Glad we made that decision! We are also staying together in a hotel room downtown the night before. I guess it’s really the walking down the aisle part that’s making me really anxious! And then having to stand up in front of 250 people... but I’ll have my FH with me. I’ve talked about it with him last night and he’s being really supportive. My mom is also aware of the situation and she’s supportive too. Thank you everyone!!
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I have a mild anxiety disorder and the days leading up to the wedding were the most I felt my anxiety ever! But the morning of the wedding I have never felt so relaxed. Once we left the hotel and were on the street of the venue the anxiety came back but it wasn't overwhelming. I got really nervous just as I was about to walk the aisle but as soon as hand was my husbands all the nerves and anxiety went away.
    If you plan to have drinks at your wedding then I definitely suggest not taking any prescription as sometimes the alcohol can accelerate the effects and who's knows what might happen. If not then I suppose you can talk to your dr but I'm more of a take a natural thing like the CBD oil of something along those lines.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I have high anxiety and have had multiple anxiety attacks - about things that are completely normal and I know it even when it happens. Doesn't make it any better in the moment, actually makes it worse... You start out by getting anxiety over something, then even more anxiety that people might notice, then more because it's over something that you shouldn't have anxiety over in the first place!

    I don't think your doctor would turn you away, if you have already been diagnosed you could just ask in general to have some meds on hand for when you do have anxiety attacks. I know my Doctor has offered me some but I declined as most of the time when I get anxiety attacks I am not at home and at least the ones he offered me would mean I can't drive after I take one...

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Hey Christine! I have anxiety too and take medication for it as well. My fH and I have discussed ways on to calm my anxiety on the day, what we are doing is: staying same property just different cottages- this way if need to see him I can, doing a first look because need to see him before the ceremony to keep nerves, and we just have a code word for if need to get air with him. We also had booked little extra time after ceremony have just 20 minutes of us soaking it all in and take a breather. Somethings also I considered, banana bread is supposed to keep you from needing the bathroom from nerves too! If feeling to anxious take a xanax- I have them and they help me out. If you want to pm me and talk more feel free Smiley smile

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  • Sarah
    Expert July 2021 Ontario
    Sarah ·
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    Maybe you should discuss on-going treatment with your doctor instead of a prescription for one day. I have post partum anxiety and it’s brutal. I tried Ativan “as needed” but i don’t like the dependency factor nor does my doctor recommend it as a long term solution. Now I’m on zoloft daily and life is so much better. I feel like myself and not constantly worried or scared about everything. At some point I want to try CBD instead though as it’s more natural.

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  • Helen
    Beginner August 2019 Alberta
    Helen ·
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    O i agree. Im Currently taking CBD oil everyday. I do have ativan on the side just incase for emergency purposes.
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  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
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    If I start thinking about the wedding day for too long, I get a panic attack. So yeah, planning has been fun. Similar to you, it's an irrational fear of disappointing the guests or making a fool of myself. I usually get that sort of feeling the morning after going out : Did I say something wrong? Did I make a fool of myself? Did I offend anyone? Are we still friends? Did I text or message someone?

    For the past year or so, I've been micro-dosing CBD oil on days I know I'll be facing anxiety-inducing situations or if I'm just feeling off. I mix it in my yogurt, my tea/coffee/water, my lunch or dinner - doesn't really taste like anything, so sometimes I forget I'm taking it!

    For me, it helps to soften the edges a bit without making me feel drowsy or slow. I was able to enjoy dress shopping and walk the Pride Parade last year! Two things I would've avoided in the past. There's no body buzz, it's more of a focusing sensation. I told my therapist it was like I had blinders on, where all the extra stuff around me (in my head) didn't matter and I was just focused on the task/event/situation at hand.

    Before you commit to getting Xanax or Ativan, I'd suggest giving CBD oil a try!

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  • Mikaela
    Frequent user August 2019 New Brunswick
    Mikaela ·
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    GAD runs in my family, my brother and I both have it and so does his wife. They just got married last summer and my brother's wife was considering taking a Xanax the night before, but instead I came over, we had a couple glasses of wine while playing cards and she had no problem sleeping. The day of I stayed with her and made it my own mission to keep her calm and in control of her emotions and fears. In the end she said she was glad she didn't take any the night before or the day of because she was able to enjoy the day without any fogginess or being more tired than she was anyway since the day is so long. She also said that the week leading up to the wedding was worse than the day of because the day of was so busy and there were so many people around to keep her mind occupied. But, the week before she kept running through the "what ifs" and "do I have everything"

    I only take Xanax to sleep because I can go 36+ hours without sleeping sometimes when I'm fixated or nervous about something. I think the night before I'm going to rely on a glass or two of wine and having my girlfriends with me.

    Is there someone in your wedding party/close friend who knows you and your anxiety/anxious tendencies well that could maybe help you from getting stuck in your own head?
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