Wedding vows

For us, it’s the other way around! Mine surprised me by saying he wanted to write our vows and I wasn’t sure what to write for myself. I threw in some personal things that only he will understand and a few more things that are easy to promise. I like that we’re doing it this way because it’s more personal. I’m just not sure how I’m going to keep it together when we’re reading them to one another!!

Vows are really personalizing how you say to each other how meaningful it is on your day. Write what you feel means to you and let him follow the regular vows if he is comfortable with the idea. It seems more a unoriginal vow printed from the internet or source to feel when saying it and having to hear what you know has been seen.

Your FH should be able to go with his heart and how he wants to do his part of the vows. It would mean more to you and feeling heartful.

I was in the same boat with my FH not wanting to write his own vows.

Our compromise was that he would write a note for the morning of the wedding for my eyes only and I could do the same for his eyes only.

Hmm I agree with Holly that if you just print something off the internet then it's not the same as writing your own, plus then you are essentially picking them and telling him what to say to you. Perhaps he is not comfortable writing his own because he doesn't know what to say or he is shy sharing such intimate details with everyone. Candace also had a good compromise of writing them together. Could you be happy with doing regular vows knowing that he will be writing you a letter?

Some of my friends who have gotten married, did something similar to this. She wrote her own vows, he forgot... she read her original ones and changed some area's of it for him to read back to her as his. No one noticed! The idea you mentioned would be great as well.

Are you having a religious ceremony or getting married with a marriage commissioner?

The reason I ask is that our marriage commissioner has been very helpful in personalizing vows. I don't want vows that are too mushy and my fiancé really, really does. (He's been drafting his since about Christmas...) Our officiant is taking personal pieces of our life together (like giving him as much attention as I do the cat) and framing it in not-too-mushy vows. It's kind of a best-of-both-worlds scenario without me feeling too uncomfortable with the public display of effusive mushiness.

We're also doing a 'time capsule' letter that we'll read on our first anniversary, as well as a card the day-of. He can be as mushy as he wants in those.

Maybe you can do personal vows between just the two of you and then the cert you can do traditional or whatever your officiant has already prepared. I personally wouldn't pick something I found online or that someone else wrote because the point of your own vo s is for them to be your words that come from your heart and using someone elses, even if they describe how you feel, defeats the purpose of your own vows. However, if your fiance agrees to wanting to use something someone else wrote then that seems like a reasonable compromise to me.

We can’t write our own vows as per FHs church so we’re doing a letter the day of! It’ll be recorded by our videographers as we read it too!

i think it’s a really sweet touch, and private and intimate.

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We have "day of letter" that we have written to give to each other the morning of the wedding

We are doing the traditional vows for our ceremony but we will write our own and have them given to each other in the morning as we get ready

What if you wrote them together? My fiancé and I wrote our own vows but we agreed on the first and last sentence of them and just filled in some
cracks in between. This would also be a great experience for you two