Wedding Speeches - Father/stepfather

It is your day so I think you should allow whoever you want to give a speech. at my brother in law's wedding his bio dad and step dad both said a little something... I also don't really think theres a certain amount you should have but generally it's parents, maid of honour and best man and then you guys... but I would definitely keep it short. I have been the weddings where it seemed like the speeches went on forever and honestly, it was a total snooze fest. It wasn't necessarily the amount of people, it was the length.. so I think you need to come up with some ground rules.

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Thank you so much for responding! I know I should have written back to you earlier, but I appreciate you giving me feedback and helping my brain

When it comes to the dad vs step-dad I would say that I would have your Dad do his speech in whatever order he would want. Either he can say everything before your Mom and Step-Dad do or he can say it again but maybe add something they missed. Overall I would ask him what he prefer.

But ya, I would say each set of parents gets a speech, so 3 (if his parents are still together), MOH, Best Man, and then only a couple more at most from siblings. I would try not to have more than 8-10 (20 min overall max.)

We are doing the BM/MOH speeches back to back and then during the next course we are doing the parent speeches back to back.

We are having my dad speak first because he is more comfortable talking in front of a group then my FILs are so that's how we decided that.

You could ask your dad if he wants to go first or if he would rather have your mom and stepdad go first and see what he thinks of it all?

Yay! That is so exciting!!

You can for sure do both. What if you had both your dad give a speech, and then your mom and step dad together?

I would have your Dad give his speech first, or right after the Best Man, then have your step dad.

For me it is not really the amount of speeches, but the length of them as well. Just keep them under a couple minutes if you are doing a couple

Deciding on the order of the speeches to please both your dad/stepdad can be no one after the other. Stepdad can say something first, then have the BM (Best Man) give his speech. Your Dad can speak after so that you don't feel as stressed to put in a position of guilt or pressure.

I def get what you mean about feeling guilty even though its your day! Honestly, we haven't thought about speeches yet.. I know both the parents will want to say something and few people in wedding party. We will let them know to keep speeches to few minutes long as we don't want people to get bored.

May wedding is June 1st, we are getting so close!!! I know exactly what you mean by last minute things!!

For the speeches you can do both. For us what we are doing is bestman, MOH, my fiancés parents, my dad & stepmom, my mom, us then if anyone in the wedding party wants to say a few words (very short toast, not a speech) it looks like a lot but all those that wanted to say a few words are then able to. If you do worry about time give them a time limit. We said no longer than 5 minutes! Honestly people may complain about how many speeches but you most likely will not and you will probably charish them so don't let anyone make it seem like there is too much speeches because they will be over before you know it! Just give everyone a time limit and you'll be good!

Both your dad and step-dad can say something. If your dad is super against it just keep each toast short, like 2 minutes. Your dad can speak first if he’d like. As a guest I’d want no more than 5 speeches because they tend to run long, but if they’re funny and I know the couple well then I have no problem sitting through them.