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Tori
Top October 2019 Manitoba

Wedding Shower Involvement

Tori, on August 29, 2019 at 16:52 Posted in Before the wedding 0 15
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Soooooooo, basically I reached out to a friend and I brought up how I'm excited for my Wedding Shower next weekend - and she had no idea about it...

I talked to my Mom and Sister/MOH who are throwing the shower and they said they sent out all of the invitations so I assume it's just that Canada Post lost them in the mail (not unheard of; I had 3 people never get their wedding invitations at all).

I now feel like they aren't as prepared as they should be and I am very much somebody who loves to have all of the control which makes for a stressed Tori.

Basically need to know if I should take over and ask them for the RSVP list so I can go over it and make calls or just trust that they will be able to do this? I'm leaning towards letting them handle it but SO MUCH OF ME says to do it myself....

15 Comments

Latest activity by Tori, on September 12, 2019 at 15:47
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    What I ended up doing was just reaching out to a select amount of people and asking if they got it - didn't care if my Aunt who I've met only once got an invite or not but I checked in with some of my friends Smiley smile Ended up having a few people show up that just didn't RSVP in general Smiley tongue (Shower was on the 8th)

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Let them handle it. kindly let them know that so and so didnt get the invite. can you guys call everyone who didnt rsvp and ask if theyre coming and let the know the shower info.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Completely understand where you are at! I would ask if there are people who haven't rsvp'd and ask them to call the people directly to see if they are able to make it or even got the invite. IT IS SO HARD NOT BEING IN CONTROL! I had to let it happen and worked out great.

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  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    Just reach out and tell them that you're worried people didn't receive the invites! Ask them if you can help with collecting RSVPs!

    I know for me I stressed about having absolutely no control over the bachelorette, shower, or rehearsal dinner, but now that the first two are done and over with, I'm glad I didn't have to worry about organizing any of it.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Yeah, get everyone on the same page, without it seeming like you are trying to take over control!

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Think that's what I'm going to do - at least see if there are people I can reach out to since we are having one big shower for both sides and they won't know most of the people on his side.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Right??? Meanwhile for my Bachelorette party they aren't telling me anything! All they did was run some ideas by me a month or two ago and the day of will be a surprise!

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I think that's what I'm going to do - I was talking to my Mom and she said that she only had 2 RSVP's from my FH's side meanwhile I spoke to my sister the day prior and she was asking who was *insert name here* and she is from his side so... clearly they aren't sharing information.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    See, and that's what I did - I have an entire spreadsheet for my wedding guests and invites including the shower with a number of how many females there are in the family (like with kids)! I gave them the list and they have access whereever they are because it's online - but they missed sending 3 cards out entirely Smiley atonished

    I think the part they went wrong was because I had 2 waves of invitations so on the spread sheet they are separated and my Mom and Sister didn't scroll down... Going to email those few people that didn't get them sent and I reminded my Mom and Sister that they should call to see if people got the invites at all as I had some for my wedding that didn't get theirs in the mail at all.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Ohhhhhhhkaaaaaaaayyyyyuh Smiley tongue

    It's so hard!! But I will stay out of it... unless they ask for help...

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    I would for sure be a little stressed! It has taken everything in me to stay out of the showers that each side is planning, lol. Especially because I am super organized and on top of things, other people in our families are not exactly as organized. The way I look at it, I’m not planning it, so I am letting the “planners” do their job and I’ll just show up when I’m supposed to!
    But maybe just a quick question to them about how the RSVPs are going and if you could help reach out to people?
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  • Chelsea
    Super June 2020 Alberta
    Chelsea ·
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    I would 100% have to double check it myself 😂 this is why i planned my engagement party and bachelorette myself - it’s just easier and i have more peace of mind!
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I found it very tough for me to let my mom take over the shower but it worked out well. I collaborated with her on the invite list and she updated me when people RSVP'd so maybe ask your mom/sister who has RSVP'd and if there's people you haven't, give your mom/sister their phone numbers and let them follow up.


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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    You’re like me lol!! Personally, I’d want to see the invite list to make sure everyone you want there is there. If someone isn’t on there, provide your mom with their details and have them invited. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

    We’re inviting every woman whose invited to the wedding to the bridal shower, so my mom won’t (shouldn’t) miss anyone.
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  • Caitlyn
    Super January 2020 Ontario
    Caitlyn ·
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    Deep breaths! I know it's difficult to sometimes sit back and have no control about wedding related things. Since they are hosting the party in your honour you really should let them handle it. Etiquette says a bride shouldn't be getting too involved in her own shower.

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