Wedding Shower

Im in the same boat lol. i actually opted to not have a shower. i dont need more towels and fancy plates we dont use!!

I feel like it isn't in this day and age, but the problem with asking for money - which my mom pointed out to me - is that some people just won't do it. They'll buy you something anyway and then you may be stuck with something you didn't want/need.

I originally didn't want to register either and only wanted cash, but we came up with a compromise - I found a website that allows you to register whatever you want from wherever you want (myregistry.com). One item from this place, two from there, etc. It's so easy to use and the best bit is, your guests can go and find that item ANYWHERE they want to get it from OR the website links directly to a company's website and you can buy the item from there.

We registered a TON of new camping stuff (it ended up being a camping themed shower, which I LOVED). The beauty of this is you can register stuff you would never have bought for yourself. Do you need a new blender? Register it! Have you always had your eye on that expensive Dyson vacuum? Register it! Want a BBQ? Register it!

And it doesn't have to be STUFF. My cousin's registry was a cash pool to help pay for the honeymoon. There are registry options where your guests buy you experiences instead (sky diving or scuba diving or stuff like that). Get creative!

This is why I'm not having a shower. I don't need anything and refuse to ask for money. I'll have a dinner and a few drinks with my girls but not have it as a shower.

This was one of the things that really stressed me out before my shower. I also have the added bonus of living 18 hours away (Thunder Bay) from where the shower was held (London) so had limited luggage room, as well my FH and I are planning to move to a bigger house after the wedding and would not want to move all the shower/wedding gifts.

So, for my shower, we had a gift card list (preferred gift cards) and everyone followed that! It didn't feel as tacky as asking for money straight out, and we had a little blurb in the invitations explaining that we are planning to move in the near future, so gift cards will help us make our new house a home - I can't remember the exact wording.

I think a lot of couples are in this situation nowadays, where it is more common to live together before getting married.

One trick a friend told me is make a registry, but make it super small. Pick a few things you have, but will need replacing soon that way the few items you put on won't just lay around gathering dust for eons. Some people will get the hint.

You could also use an alternative registry. There are all kinds of them now....for honeymoons, to help with investments (not joking, seriously) like RRSP or a down payment on a house...It's not exactly cash, but it's seems more acceptable as an option nowadays.

Another thing you could do is let your host/bridal party to tell anyone that asks them you prefer gift cards, money, etc. If guests don't want to ask you, those are the people they'll go to

Cash gifts or Gift cards are the best solutions to give based on what you would rather want to recieve since gifts aren't needed. This way the money can be used for goals you want to achieve around the house or savings for a rainy day/emergency funds as needed.

There isn't anything wrong with asking for the gifts suggested since most couples don't use everthing they get at showers and weddings. Gift registry is another story in whole.

I had two showers. One was a "stock the bar" theme where I registered for alcohol. We didn't need much, but we were able to accumulate enough where we still don't need to buy much even a year later. At the other one, my friends gave us gift cards for home stores and restaurants, movie passes, etc.

We are in the same situation, plus I didn’t want any more stuff in our house, and we don’t need to upgrade much.
My FMIL is having one shower and she put right on the invites a poem for honeymoon fund.
My Step Mom is doing another shower and we didn’t put anything out there. So when people started asking about a registry she just said gift cards to stores where we can get our own stuff, or money.

I would say that if you are having an actual wedding shower where people come and you play a few games and have those sandwiches and roll up sandwiches then gifts are what should be given. If money is the only thing wanted then a shower is rather pointless as this is where gifts can be given since physical gifts at a wedding are a faux pas.

To avoid asking for money - I would just not mention where you are registered (assuming you won't be registered anywhere) and if people ask then you just mention maybe a colour or activity that the two of you like? There will always be somebody who wants to get a physical gift and not give cash/ gift cards. (Like me)

Just be aware that if you aren't registered anywhere there is a chance that they only give you a card... no money...

Personally, I don’t think it’s couth to flat out ask for money. I’m in the same boat as you where I have my own items for a home from living on my own before and mine and my fiancé’s parents are providing us with household items, so we really don’t need more.

in this case, we aren’t asking for any type of gift on the invite. My FMIL is sure people will call and ask her for a registry and she’ll simply say they don’t need any household gifts as they are trying to buy their first home. She thinks people will get the hint.

So id leave it out of your invite and if people ask, in a nice way you can say you don’t need any boxed gifts.

The way that etiquette suggests you go about this is to not register and not mention gifts at all. It could ruffle some feathers if you straight out say that you want money. Without a registry people normally resort to giving cash because everyone can use and appreciate some extra cash. If anyone asks you or your shower hosts about gifts then you can just repeat that you don't need household items as you and FH already are living together. Yes, you may get people who will without the guidance of a registry pick a gift out for you themselves, but you'll get that when you register too. Another option is to have a themed shower such as a book shower where everyone brings you a book, a stock the bar shower where people bring alcohol, a recipe shower where everyone gifts you their favourite recipe.

Because I am in the same boat as you with living with my FH already and not needing household items I'm not having a bridal shower, I'm having a bridal tea. If you sub the word shower out for tea or get together or luncheon then it allows you to have a nice get together with friends and family, but it's purpose is not to shower you with traditional household items or any gifts at all

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I went to a shower where she created website where you could do this and because couldn't attend I was able to put message in it and credit card info with amount wanted it to be charged with. It was nice this way

View quoted message Thanks Becky! I like the idea of a honeymoon registry as part of it as I don’t really need to “upgrade” anything.

I have heard some people on here have asked for gift cards or money instead as they have been together for a while and don't need things. I def understand living together and if you don't want to upgrade then I would just get your mom or his mom to let people know when they ask. Or you could make a honeymoon registry and say you rather money towards this instead.