Wedding Registry Help for Couples that Live Together

I'm glad to hear she came around

Oh! A Vitamix! I've wanted one for years but didn't think of putting that on the registry - you are full of great ideas!

Luckily my future MIL has been super easy-going - and she's the one I thought would be more opinionated! It's been tough since I'm an only child and very close with my parents but my mom has definitely added stress to the planning process. At one point my mom said she wouldn't come to our ceremony if I wasn't walking down the aisle to Mendelssohn's Wedding March, which is ridiculous. I pushed back and said I only needed my dad to walk me down the aisle and if she was going to miss her only child's wedding over a song that would be her loss. Two days later she relented and said my processional song choice was lovely (it's "I Get To Love You" by Ruelle). Things have been much better the past few months but the first few months after I got engaged were rough!

Ohhh Kitchenaid attachments are a great idea! I have a 6 qt Kitchenaid Pro and there are definitely some attachments that would be great to have. Thanks for the idea! We're not campers but we share a family cottage so adding some items for the cottage could work too! This is all super helpful

LOL yeah one of my aunts already told me that she won't gift cash but asked us to pick out something in the $500-600 category for her to buy us. We're leaning towards a Kamado Joe Jr since my fiancé has been wanting a smoker.

Maybe list a fancy 100" 4K TV? If someone is so stubborn to get that for you just so they don't have to give you cash, that's on them lol.

My MIL was the same way at the beginning with her opinions. She's very old school. She wanted us to get married in a church, my dress should have sleeves, to invite all these guests that we hardly see, etc. My fiance and I basically sat her down and told her that this is our wedding day and because we are also paying for this wedding ourselves, we will be choosing a venue that is not a church and my dress will be whatever I choose and only immediate family and close friends that we see all the time. You have to put your foot down at some point or it will stress you out!

Your mother can say all of these things to you but remember you will be wearing the dress not her, and you and your fiance are paying for this wedding, you can get married where ever you want! This is your life not hers. If you go with everything your mother tells you, you will regret it down the road.

I am having a bridal shower only because my mom really wants to throw my one. But I have indicated to her that we don't want all these gifts that normally come with a bridal shower. We've had to postpone twice because of covid so I'm willing to do this for her

Remember, it's your wedding and not your parents. If you don't want a registry you don't have to have one. Yes it may ruffle some feathers, but it's you and your fiance's big day and do you really want more things in your home that you may never use

My fiance and I are not having a registry simple because we have a house together and we've been living together for almost 7 years. We've just added in our invites that a instead of gifts, a monetary gift is one that we suggest.

If you're having a shower and want cash there, it can come off a bit grabby. I would leave it open for guests of the shower to bring whatever they want. Most shower gifts are inexpensive items and lean on the novelty side anyway.

As for your actual wedding, most people will interpret the lack of a registry to mean bring a cash gift. As for your mom, it's your wedding so she shouldn't impose her rules onto you.

If you prefer not to confront your mom, one way a few of my friends got around obnoxious parents is to have a registry but listed only a few things that are "nice to have." Like an expensive vacuum cleaner, an industrial hand mixer, or super fancy pots and pans. Most people seeing that will just automatically resort to a cash gift over buying an expensive thing (and lugging it to the wedding) but having that registry exist will appease those who are really caught up on tradition.. Just make sure whatever you put on that registry is stuff you're actually willing to keep.