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Courtney
Super July 2018 Ontario

Wedding Photos - Must Do List

Courtney, on February 12, 2018 at 13:45 Posted in Before the wedding 0 16

What photos are on your 'must take' list when it comes to family/friend combinations.

I'm struggling because both my FH and I have divorced parents. In my head the parents pictures shouldn't include new partners (there's some bad vibes about one of the new partners).. but I feel like the dads will fight us on this. Any words of advice there?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Brittany, on February 23, 2018 at 14:26
  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    Ohhh I have all the feels for this conversation. I am super fortunate that my mom and dad are civil (they divorced when my sister & I were 5 & 6, so they made sure to still communicate for our sakes)... However, my mom has been remarried for almost 19 years, and my dad's "relationship" never got to marriage, and now they are more so like guaranteed dates to functions (they live separately). I asked my dad if I should put his gf's name on the invitation and he said no, just give him a plus one "in case"...

    Luckily for the seating plan, my FH's parents are still together, they will sit with my mom & step-dad, along with my godmother and godfather who are my only international guests. My dad and oldest sister will sit with one of my uncle/aunt (dad's brother). IF my dad brings his gf... ugh... I don't know. My mom has "joked" (oh god I hope she is joking), that she might punch her (she was cruel to both my mom, and my sister & I, when we were younger).

    I swear, parents act more like children than we do sometimes.

    When it comes to photos though.... I would say, get your photos with everyone in it, let everyone have their own photo as well... but when in the group shots, put those feuding family members on opposite ends of the group or something... haha.

    Jeez, good luck to everyone here... happiest day of our life... once we figure out how to maneuver all this drama!!!

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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    Hehehe.. I can't help but feel that way lol

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  • Breanne
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Breanne ·
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    Sorry back on topic now... Photos I think we will take (still have a bit of time to hash it out):

    - Bride + Groom

    - Bride + Groom + Bride's Parents

    - Bride + Groom + FIL + partner (she's lovely and they've been together longer than us)

    - Bride + Groom + MIL

    - Bride + Groom + FIL + partner + MIL + FH's siblings

    - Bride + Groom + Bride's parents + Bride's aunts, uncles & cousins (FH does not have any aunts uncles or cousins so this will be one sided)

    - Separate pictures with FH + his dad & one with his mom

    - Bride & parents

    I think that should be it for family shots?

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  • Breanne
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Breanne ·
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    Sorry you ladies are going through all this but you're right it's nice to know that you're not alone... Unfortunately I think every family and every wedding has drama and we're all stuck trying to control it the best we can.

    FH mom and dad are divorced and have been since he was 3 so it's not fresh but they have only been in the same room once in the last 10 years (FIL lives in England). For them they will likely be tolerant but also avoid each other - FIL has a longterm partner and she's lovely but MIL never really dated again so I imagine she's got a bit of resentment.

    Coupled with that, my dad's brother and sister haven't spoken in years and don't get along at all. I think that one is going to be the bigger issue.

    I say screw it. I'm just going to tell FHs other siblings and my dad's nephew to keep an eye on those situations so we don't have to think about it. I think everything should work out and honestly I will try my best to make everyone comfortable but if somebody doesn't want to be in my photos because they are letting someone else get the better of them they're the one who is going to regret it. Fingers crossed everyone can act like grown ups.

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  • Breanne
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Breanne ·
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    I literally just laughed out loud at the wench Jen!

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  • Kris
    Frequent user June 2018 British Columbia
    Kris ·
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    Awww, I am sorry to hear you are all going through those struggles. My parents are still together, but can bicker like they are divorced. My FH's parents are divorced but seem to be behaving civil so far.

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Good idea on how to handle the pictures!

    Another child of divorce here but I’m fortunate that neither of my parents have new partners so I won’t have to deal with that.
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Oh boy that's so annoying.. I'm going to sit my mom at my family table and if she has an issue I'll just have a back up plan. But I intend to get a giant centre piece for them so they won't see each other lol
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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    It's horrible. This is my second wedding. At my first my parents had pretty much just divorced officially so it was so awkward. My dad was being a female dog about the whole thing and demanded that he not having photos taken with my mother. It was so stupid. I just don't even want that awkwardness there on that day. I don't want my new family to have to deal with my family's drama. It's nice to be marrying into a family that has minimal drama.

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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    Do you know how sad and also nice it is to know its not just me with the parent's partners struggles!

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  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
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    I hadn't even thought about this yet. I was honestly waiting until the RSVP's start rolling in more because I don't even know if my dad and his wench (did i say that out loud? oops) will be at my wedding. There hasn't been a very good relationship with them for a while now.

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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    Yep - seriously exhausting. I always thought my parents would be a nightmare to deal with, but luckily they are able to get along (well.. tolerate) each other now. Its still a bit tense, but they've been okay for the most part.


    My FH has the parents who don't agree with each other. So juggling 4 sets of parents is tough. We're going to sit our dads and their partners at one table on one side of the room (close to the head table) and them our mum's will be at their own table (like 1 mum and each table) with their close family and friends on the other side of the room. So we have 3 parent tables really lol.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I'm so glad my FH parents are still together! My mom and stepdad are absolutely driving me crazy! They are actually telling me to seat them at a friend's table because they don't want to be at the table with my dad.. honestly so annoying. And I'll look like a jerk for putting her there.. so I'll be trying to convince her! But she's been an issue ever since I got engaged, my stepdad and I got into an argument and they both said they won't be going to my wedding, so I planned dress shopping with my dad and now that my mom and stepdad are back to coming to the wedding she's pissed that she can't go dress shopping.. I'm so over it lol
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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    It is so difficult! Like holy moly.


    I think I'll do a lot with JUST the parents, but invite my dad/his partner to take a picture with myself and my FH and then when we do the BIG family shot (Parents/aunts/unlces/cousins), his partner will be included as well.

    I'll leave it up to my FH what he wants to do with his parents, they get along less than mine do... like are mad they are both coming to the wedding sort of don't get along.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    My parents and divorced and both remarried. I love my step mom but I do not like my step dad. So for the sake of wanting a picture with my dad and stepmom and wanting to keep my mom happy, I am doing a picture with my mom and stepdad. As for majority of the family pictures it'll be my parents and not the step parents. But I have have a family picture of me and my siblings with my parents, then dad and stepmom, and mom and stepdad. To please everyone. And for me I will also have a picture with both mom and dad and the step parents. My mom disagrees with doing anything with my dad and even refuses to sit at the same table as him. So I feel you on this divorced parent drama..
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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I think you should have family pictures with your biological parents, each parent and their new spouse and maybe convince them to do a photo all together. This way no one is offended or left out but you have the option of which photos you want to display.

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