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Paige
Beginner October 2021 Ontario

Wedding Party Help

Paige, on September 17, 2020 at 00:28 Posted in Before the wedding 1 12

Hello friends,

i have been engaged now for almost a year, and my wedding is about one year away. My wedding party is small, just my MOH and one bridesmaid, i asked them both around Christmas time last year. So they have been apart of my wedding party for about 9 months now but i haven't really gotten much help from them.. ive booked just about every vendor i need (with the help of my hubby to be) so im all good in that department, but i was curious what everyone asked their wedding parties to help them with? I want them to be on this journey with me and help me with stuff but between covid, work and their own lives i feel bad asking for help with anything... any comments, ideas or suggestions are appreciated!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on October 9, 2020 at 16:01
  • Amanda
    Expert July 2022 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Its funny that you say that because its very similar to my situation as well. I have a very small party, have been engaged now for a full year coming up December, and I planned everything on my own & with the FH assistance of course. I haven't really needed help thus far. I am leaving it up to them to plan the Bachelorette and leaving it up to the full wedding party (groomsmen included) and parents to plan the bridal shower as well.

    Other than that, I wouldn't say you need much help until the day of and day before.

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I have a MOH but I told her I don't want a bridal shower. We may get together with some girls for a wine tour for a bachelorette party. I gave her colours that I want for her dress and she can pick between them. I know the week of we will both be busy getting things together and setting up. I'll ask her which she likes better if I like two things equally... I think you need to let them know what your expectations are.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    For the most part of having the wedding party of 4 for us (2 each of MOH and Best Man) with not much help given I had done most of the work.

    The MOHs along with the girls at the salon put a Buck & Buck for us on their own. I had created the tickets and sign requested by them. Otherwise, they had all attended except for 1 for reception entrance practise at the salon as I taught them and husband the dance steps.

    As far as I getting the help is for the dress shop fitting if you are choosing this route, they should be there and given a budget they all agree is fair on their end if paying. Other pre events are up to you to let them know if they are taking on the planning process.

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  • Jasmine
    Frequent user July 2022 Ontario
    Jasmine ·
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    They agree tobe in your bridal party so they should help

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  • Jessica
    Newbie October 2020 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    I planned my whole wedding myself. No help from my bridal party, family, or hubby. It really depends on if you want help from your bridal party. If you think you can do everything yourself, do it! If you're feeling overwhelmed, I would suggest distributing tasks. It's completely up to you and what you want to do! I have my bridal party more for emotional support along the way.

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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    For myself, I have just my MOH in my wedding party. My fiance and I have pretty much done all of the planning for our venue and our vendors. Since I work as a merchandiser for a big clothing company that carry fancy dresses, I was able to choose which bridesmaids dresses I kind of wanted for my big day.

    Pretty much my MOH is helping with the bachelorette party and my bridal shower. I would get her to help more but I knew I wanted to plan the big day pretty much myself with my FH help.

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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    It all depends on how involved you want them to be. I know ours was so small, we planned everything and told our MOHs to pick a dress and show up, but lots of people want their BMs and MOHs to be involved.
    It is a possibility that They may also be waiting for you to delegate what they should do, rather than jumping in headfirst. Have a chat with them and see what they have to say.
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  • Olivia
    Frequent user October 2021 Ontario
    Olivia ·
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    I feel like this totally depends on your personality! I’ve done all the planning myself because I know what I want and how I want it done lol but when it comes time for packing invites, going shopping for little things, etc I’ll definitely ask my bridesmaids to help! Basically I feel like they won’t help unless asked because they might not want to step on your toes?
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    You say you haven't gotten help from them but did you need their help? I wouldn't use the wedding party on things like sourcing vendors. That's so implicitly connected to your wedding that it should be done by the couple (or a wedding planner if you have one).

    As you mentioned, you still have a year to go so they likely haven't started on any event planning because 1) covid and 2) stuff like bach parties and whatever showers/stag doe tend to happen closer to the date itself. You could technically have them start dress shopping (and for the guys to get their suits) but maybe they were waiting for your cue? Every wedding party I've been a part of had the wedding couple dictate our clothes, rightfully so. If you want to give them the freedom to go look for their own outfits then I would explicitly say so.

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  • Shazia
    Newbie August 2021 Alberta
    Shazia ·
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    Honestly I would have them search for bridesmaids dresses, plan your bridal shower and bachelorette. I think when the big day arrives, you’ll need their help more than at the planning stages
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  • Paige
    Beginner October 2021 Ontario
    Paige ·
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    Thanks Michelle! I totally feel that way with them.. before asking both of them, i googled what is the role of a MOH and bridesmaid so i think that's why I'm feeling this way... in the past I thought about asking them to google it too so they know what is expected of them traditionally. I feel like i will be in the same situation with a bridal shower and bachelorette party if i don't talk to them now about it. Really appreciate your advice!!

    Cheers!

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  • Michelle
    Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia
    Michelle ·
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    I feel like a lot of people don’t know what it’s tradition. Some bridesmaids and MOH don’t realize their help is needed. It would be normal to have them give feedback and help you make decisions, and bounce ideas off of. Really great ones arrange you bachelorette party and so on. I would suggest talking with them. Let them know how you are feeling. They probably don’t realize how important it is to you.

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