Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

S
Newbie September 2017 Manitoba

Walking me down the aisle

Shanice, on June 22, 2017 at 18:28 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 11
So I am having a hard time trying to decide who to walk me down the aisle on my big day.. my biological dad was never around, and I have never met him. As I was a kid my mom married 3 times and as a result I called each one "dad". I no longer am in contact with any of them... my mom is now married again , We never got along when they were first together, in fact I despised him. Only in the past 2 years have we gotten along. We are definitely not close and I don't consider him a father in anyway... my mom has mentioned how they both want me to include him in the wedding (in particular down the aisle).. I don't want that but I also don't want to hurt their feelings or make him feel excluded by not having him walk down the aisle..What are some other options I could do? I do have 2 toddlers but they are both my flower girls? How else can I include her husband?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Sonja, on July 4, 2017 at 19:47
  • Sonja
    VIP September 2017 Ontario
    Sonja ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    My 4 adult children will be walking me down to the front, but is there anything wrong with going against tradition and having your future husband walk with you so that together you come before the minister/priest/justice of peace? You come before him/her to declare your love and commitment to each other and everyone else is a witness to that declaration. Since your FH is the most important man in your life, it makes sense. It's just another way of looking at it. Just want to add that you don't need to be stressed and pushed into something you don't want just to please other people.

    • Reply
  • C
    Frequent user November 2017 Ontario
    Chris ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I would say mom I appreciate your opinion but let me remind you this is my wedding. You can walk down the aisle yourself or you can have your mom walk you down the aisle.


    Remember (most people forget whose day it is) it YOUR wedding day.

    You can include him by having him say a reading at the ceremony or giving a toast at the reception.

    If you get pushback which you will. Tell her your biological father is not in the picture and she has been married 3 times and as a result the only man you have in your life is your future husband. The person walking you down the aisle is someone who has meant the most to you in your life it could be your mom, brother, anyone who you deem worthy. Someone you you have gotten to know over 2 years to me is not worthy of giving you away. As the previous step dads disappeared 10 years down the road you don't want to look back at pictures and wonder who that was.

    Look at how you referred to him as "her husband" he is not your husband and you do not considered him a father figure or step dad.

    Ask him to say a few words welcoming everyone at the reception and give a toast.

    • Reply
  • Jen
    VIP June 2018 Ontario
    Jen ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I'll be walking myself down the aisle. It's my second wedding. My father walked me down the aisle the first time but now we no longer speak because he always sides with his girlfriend about things rather than speaking to his family about issues. It's been frustrating. My mom and I have a good relationship but I just feel like I need to give myself away to him. I've been through a lot of mental hardships and had a hard time with the whole engagement thing due to my last marriage and past relationships and for me to be able to overcome those issues, be able to move forward and say yes to marrying him is a big accomplishment for me. My mom is engaged and I have known her fiancé for many years (even before her-- he's my ex boyfriends (from high school) moms ex husband.. it's complicated lol) but we don't have any kind of relationship at all so I would never ask him to walk me down the aisle.


    Do what makes you feel comfortable. I like the idea of your moms husband walking down with her in front of you so he feels like he's a part of the day.

    • Reply
  • Kirsten
    Ontario
    Kirsten ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Hi thereMy mum has never remarried so I can't comment or begin to say I understand what you are having to decide. My mum is walking me down and aisle and my first dance. Non traditional but my dad has not been around for me despite me calling him out on it and trying to work it out. He has chosen his wife over me. My mum has been there all along and deserves to be my person who does the honours.
    • Reply
  • B
    Super August 2017 Alberta
    Bethany ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    The dance is a good idea! I also like hearing these discussions as I feel indifferent about my father situation. The dance is good cuz it is special but not really a pivotal moment in the wedding. Part of the reception not ceremony.
    • Reply
  • B
    Super August 2017 Alberta
    Bethany ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Good idea!
    • Reply
  • B
    Super August 2017 Alberta
    Bethany ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I kind of feel the same way. My mom and dad divorced when I was 2. He was always "around" even tho he didn't even live in the same province. He called and sent Xmas gifts. However I don't think he deserves to walk me down the aisle. It's kind of already been said in passing that he will so I don't want to tell him he's not... I also like traditional but really, I should be walking myself down the aisle. Maybe he could MC it lol? Is he fun even tho u don't like him? Or maybe just ignore their feelings all together. Who cares. I'm sure there were times you felt like they didn't care about your feelings and what u wanted, and if there was ever a day to be selfish, your wedding day would be it.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Super September 2017 Alberta
    Laura ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I am walking down the aisle with both my parents but my situation is different than yours. My only suggestion is that you could have your mom and her husband walk in just before you go and you could walk in yourself. Then he is involved as part of the "bridal party" but not specifically walking you down the aisle. You could explain it as wanting it to just be your moment.

    Just a thought Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Frequent user October 2017 Ontario
    Laura ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I suggest you do what feels right to you...and only you! No one can tell you how to feel and at the end of the day, this day is about you and your FH. My parents are divorced and my mom made mention of her wanting to walk me down the aisle with my dad...I quickly told her that I only wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. She tried to act upset, but with her, it was just a power struggle and quickly got over it.

    Seems like there is a ton of stress surrounding this, so my suggestion would be to let your mom and her husband walk in together and walk in yourself, or just walk in with your mother. Old school traditions are ever evolving and your happiness trumps everyone on this day! I'm sure your mother knows how you feel, so it would be unfair of her to force that on you. Best of luck on this!

    • Reply
  • Loni
    Devoted September 2018 Ontario
    Loni ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I'm actually going to be walking myself down the isle. I feel like this way there's no jealousy/resentment because someone else other than my dad has the job. If you're not comfortable with it - I really wouldn't let him do it. Especially since he's not biological, it could end up in a situation like your past step dads, where in the future you have no contact with him. If your mom is insisting that he needs a special part in your wedding, maybe you could do a father-daughter type dance with him? That way he still feels included in a special way, but you don't feel uncomfortable having him walk you down the isle.

    Let us know what you go with! My father situation has actually been the biggest stress inducer in my wedding planning, and I love hearing other peoples solutions/situations.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Maybe they could both walk you down the aisle together. It would mean they are both important and involved.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Groups

WeddingWire Article Topics