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Holly
Frequent user September 2018 Ontario

Vows

Holly, on August 15, 2018 at 13:00 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 14

I'm looking for some advice or guidance surrounding vows. We want to write our own but I'm worried about a) remembering them b) getting emotional

Is it poor etiquette to read them from a piece of paper? I think even if I have them memorized, that emotions of the day could cause me to forget and that I think would be worse than reading them.

Any advice?? What are you doing or what did you do?

Thanks!

14 Comments

Latest activity by Jason, on August 16, 2018 at 18:19
  • Jason
    Curious September 2018 Alberta
    Jason ·
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    We wrote an "all in one" vow and will have our officiant read it. there's no way way we would get through reading our own Smiley cry

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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    I had mine memorized, but in the moment of the day, probably couldn't put two words together without reading it off a piece of paper.

    I used a small card to write mine on.. and I think my partner just had a folded piece of paper. I don't actually remember what he read off of! No one will remember, so use whatever you have. I kept mine small so my bridesmaid could fit it in her pocket (i got lucky she picked a dress with pockets)

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  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
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    I wouldn’t suggest reading them off a wrinkled piece of lined paper. But reading them off of something else would be just fine. There are lots of simple and inexpensive options. Or if you want a nice keepsake even have them printed on something to read from (a small wood board, glass, etc) and hang them in your home after.
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  • Jessie
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Jessie ·
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    We are writing our own vows as well. We bought little books from Michael's that say vows on the front so it is more than acceptable to have your vows and read them. A lot of people do that and I think that is a lot better than getting caught up in the moment and forgetting them. It will also make for a nice keep sake.

    I don't think it takes away from how you truly feel- you write down exactly how you feel and just read it so to me it means the same. I will be in the same boat as you so I definitely will be reading them- shaking hands and all lol

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Memorizing a vow seems hard enough to remember every word to say at the alter. I say its good to keep the paper with you and read it off. Emotions will run in your eyes and get to you. This way you know where you left of and continue onwards.

    You have that memorable moment to remember and do save the vows for a scrapbook project. I will be making one for us filled with pictures, invitations, and speeches.

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    We wrote our own vows and totally had papers to read off of just in case. Emotions were totally all over the place so the paper was great help!

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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    This is just another vote in favor of reading them. Having to have them memorized sounds super stressful to me! Someone in your wedding party can keep them in a pocket, or your officiant can hold them for you until it's time. Paper, index cards, or small books all work.

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  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
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    Every wedding I have been to they read their vows. they knew them. so it wasn't completely reading. give a copy to your officiant in case they are forgotten that day too.

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  • Holly
    Frequent user September 2018 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Agreed! A keepsake will be really nice, even if it's "crumpled up and cried on" hahaha

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  • Holly
    Frequent user September 2018 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I never thought of vow books! I love this idea Smiley smile

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  • Holly
    Frequent user September 2018 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Oh I like the idea of a picture later! Thanks for the advice, I feel better about reading them now Smiley smile

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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
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    My fiancé really really wants us to do our own vows. I’m nervous about getting all emotional too.

    I woildnt try and remember them. I’ve seen some cute “vow” books. Where you put your vows in them and someone hands the books to you to read from. I think it’s a cute idea. It looks better then reading off just a piece of paper and you can keep them. I’ve found several on amazon. But I may make my own.
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  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    I dont think I've ever been to a wedding where they had them memorized! I think it's even cured to have them written because it becomes a cute keepsake! If it's all crumpled and cried on!! How cute to keep hahah!! You are going to be worrying about so much already that day I would 100% have them written!
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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    Lots of people read them! Maybe get them done on some nice stationary, or a little card... Something that maybe matches your wedding stationary? Then you could even get photos of them later with your rings!

    I wouldn't try and memorize it... I'd be so emotional and nervous being in front of all those people!

    We aren't even doing personal vows, just personalized repeat-after-me, as my fiance has assured me he's far too nervous to read something in front of 100+ people.

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