Unplugged Ceremony

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I never thought of sending her a photo of me all ready that she can see before the reception, maybe this would make her feel better! Thank you

I fibbed and told my family that my photographers contract states she is the sole photographer for the day, and if anyone gets in the way they could risk us losing our photographer, or if they take photos that she poses they could risk problems regarding her artistic copyright. It was much easier to explain it as someone elses rules than our own preference. People really dont understand the nuisance that taking photos with their iPads can be. Shes has to recognize she can't be in two places at once. I'm sure she can wait to see the professional photos on social media, or settle for a photo of you in your dress before you leave the house. Maybe you can even set up an afternoon date after the wedding to watch your wedding video together. Essentially it's up to you, not her!

Personally, I'm not fond about people who do things like this.. Who make milestones in others lives all about them..

She made the choice to go out of her way and miss her God daughters wedding, then actually has the nerve to make said god daughter feel bad about her choices for HER big day?

No. You want to miss the wedding, you don't get to watch it on a phone screen. Be there or wait till the pictures are posted to see what happened. I personally wouldn't allow her to the reception either after making the ceremony about her and trying to make you bend around her needs.

It's your wedding, she should be bending to you. I get its her daughters prom night and that's a big deal on it's own. But, like you said, she can take pictures before her daughter leaves. Hell, prom night again, isn't about her, it's about her daughter.

Sorry for the rant, I have a few people in my family who does things like this, and it bothers me.
My point is, stand your ground love. It's your day. Not hers. She won't change her mind, why should you??

I would stand my ground on this. One phone will turn into 2, then 3, then 4 and then soon half the guests will have phones out because they saw someone with it. It's your special and it's too bad she's unable to make your ceremony.

I mean really, in the end it’s a day about you and your FH. You’ll never be able to make every single person perfectly happy with every decision.

If your aunt is going to the bridge with your cousin for photos, she won’t be able to watch a live stream of your ceremony anyway!

It sounds like your aunt has made up her mind, and the two of you should continue to stand your ground. If people see one phone out, then others will follow suit and pull their phones out as well.

I say stick to your guns, girl, it’s your day.

Yes we are also having a unplugged Ceremony last thing anyone wants is have anything on Social Media before seeing proofs, there's my fiance's neice she's the photographer and then I am having my youngest son's girlfriend how to video tape from my Camera since my brother can't make it to the wedding he's very ill, and my fiance's brother is also very ill

You should ask your venue if they have a live streaming options. That way any one not at the wedding code see your ceremony and Reception live. I am doing this as I have a lot of Family in Colombia who will not be able to fly in.

This way you still have an unplugged ceremony and the only person putting it live is someone specialized to do that through the venue.

That would be my strongest suggestion. Other than that, I do believe she should take pictures with her Niece another time and attend your ceremony afterwards.

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Good question! It looks like you can stream to Facebook and YouTube with the newest one? I'm looking at possibly buying a Polaroid Cube+, same idea but a lot less money. It can only stream to Facebook, though. I've never used either one of these, so it's a bit of a gamble.

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Only problem is that she wants to watch it in real time, can you do that with GoPros?

I’ll echo everyone else and say good for you for standing your ground! Do you know anyone that owns a GoPro? I’ve heard other brides mention that they were going to attach one to their arch or have someone in the first couple rows discreetly tape the ceremony! Less intrusive than an iPhone/Pad

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So far my cousin hasn't said anything about wanting her mom there or not but I don't think anything is changing my aunts mind at this point.

I agree that you were right to stand your ground! Sure, your aunt may be frustrated, but how frustrated will you and your fiancé be if you allow your cousin to FaceTime your ceremony and other guests decide to whip out their phones as a result?

If she wants to see your ceremony that badly, she should find a way to be there. If she absolutely can't, let her cover the cost of a videographer.

Proud of you for standing your ground!! There is no reason she can't be there as yes its prom but she can do this prior and still make it to yours. Honestly, I don't know how her daughter feels about it but I wouldn't want my mom there

I'm sorry that she's giving you such a difficult time about it. I think some people can be really selfish without realizing it, and it's a shame that she can't see that. I think you definitely need to stay firm on having an unplugged ceremony and your aunt will just get to see the professional photographs after. She might get over it - she might not - but if one person has their phone out to FaceTime your aunt, then it's giving permission to anyone else to take their phone out too. Not worth it in my books.

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We have already let everyone know that whatever photos they want from our wedding we will give them a copy. My Grandma thinks it is just so no one's ringtone goes off *insert eye roll*

I'd honestly stand your ground! Your aunt can definitely plan her time better so she gets photos with your cousin and be at your ceremony! Also I feel like your cousin would also prefer your aunt to not be at the bridge photos, like most teenagers lol.

I'd let her know that you'll have a videographer so she can still watch the highlights of the ceremony, but again, she should manage her time better/realise she's an adult and follow the rules you set out.

My mom was heartbroken when I said we wanted an unplugged ceremony. My parents are convinced its to target the "younger crowd" from using their phones but in all honestly its to prevent the "older crowd" from taking the same photo on 20 million different phones lol.

I feel your pain, trust me.

I am proud of you for sticking to your guns about being unplugged, keep at it and eventually she have to come to understand that there will be no exceptions. If she was fine to miss the ceremony before she found out it was unplugged then she'll have to be ok with missing it. She is being childish to make it miserable for you, it's her way of trying to get her own way.

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Well yeah that just seems kind of silly to me. If it's so important to her.. there is no reason she has to be at the bridge. She can look at all the photos after. But oh well

Keep sticking it out! I can see why it's frustrating.

The timing doesn't work out for her to go to the bridge for a little bit and then come?

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The thing is that they are doing all the photos at their house with the family before my cousin and aunt go to the bridge so she is literally going to the bridge just to Watch my cousin get photos done, which is why I've been sure to stand my ground so far because she COULD come to the ceremony with the rest of the fam.

The ceremony is about an hour away from the bridge so she should be there in plenty time for the reception at least

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Who knows you still have time. She may change her mind if you stick your ground. Or your cousin may not want her mom crashing pictures anyways. It's not like you are asking her to actually miss her grad or something, so I don't really get it... or why she can't go earlier to the bridge.

Is the ceremony close to where she is?

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We are going to have a sign by the door to the patio for the ceremony and we have asked our officiant to reiterate it to the guests at the start of the ceremony so hopefully this will be enough reminders..

That's what I've been trying to tell her but she is so set on watching my cousin take photos that she says she can't...

Definitely stand your ground. I feel like a domino effect would occur once other guests see your one cousin with their phone recording and they'd think that it's okay for them to pull out their phones too, despite announcements and signs saying otherwise. She ultimately made her choice that she wants to take prom pictures instead of seeing your ceremony. If you're truly fine with her not seeing the ceremony then just tell her that you'll be sure to share your professional photos and the wedding video once you receive it.

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Dang... no raw footage? That was another thing I asked of my videographer - little to no editing as I just want it done with a steady hand. It usually cuts costs when they don't have to edit it, would your videographer be willing to do that and would your aunt be willing to foot the bill? (Of course if you don't want to try and make it work that is totally fine and we are right back to standing your ground!!)

Stand your ground. Put it on the programs if you have them.. signage etc.

My officiant even said she prefers it, and if it is what we want she usually mentions it in her opening greeting as well. So you can ask if they will say something about it. And then most people after that I feel like would feel to embarrassed to be on their phone?

Honestly if she want's to see it that bad.. she should make better arrangements to be there.

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We have a videographer but we weren't going to get the full ceremony on video because it is an extra $200 that we weren't looking to spend. Short of this it would only be small parts of the ceremony edited into a video with all the rest of the wedding stuff.

Stand your ground! If she was critically ill or something then it would be a different story and I would get somebody to tape it (mention this to the guests in case they want a copy so that they don't record it as well).

The only other thing I can think of is if you were to look for a videographer. Which are expensive - but at this point if they don't have your wedding day booked they may be willing to cut the price over not having a job for that weekend at all! Heck, I got mine for super cheap after mentioning I just want it recorded with audio we can hear and no thumb in the frame! Being able to have the upper hand and willing to walk away from their services really helps in getting what you want.

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I just don't want her pressuring my cousins or uncle into doing this for her, which she would totally do. Thankfully most people we have mentioned this to said that they are going to help keep people off their phones but we will see.

For sure just continue to stand your ground. I contemplated letting my cousin be the only person with a phone to take some videos and pictures, but then I thought "monkey see monkey do" and let that idea go super fast.

Like Kelsie said, there will always be that one person who will not listen regardless how many times they are told.

Honestly, I feel like there’s always going to be that one person (or a few) who don’t listen to what the couple wants. Especially if they’re sitting way in the back of the ceremony.

I think definitely stand your ground - people should at least hear you say this is what you want. Just keep in mind, there will always be that one that is just so excited ...they can’t help but record or take photos.

However, my FSIL lives in the US and couldn’t make it to our cousins wedding and they did actually Skype her in and someone held the IPad up for them to watch. Honestly, I wouldn’t have noticed it at all if I didn’t know it was happening ahead of time. Just a thought if someone genuinely can’t make it.