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Cassie
Newbie January 2020 Ontario

Unconventional seating chart?

Cassie, on December 5, 2019 at 13:42 Posted in Wedding reception 0 11
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At our wedding we are essentially doing 2 long harvest tables (see picture). We have 10 members of our bridal party in total (5 groomsmen, 5 bridesmaid). So we definitely want to have bridal party sitting with their significant others, and technically there is space at the head table/head table adjacent for everyone BUT my fiancee thinks we should have some of them not sitting with us. Most of our wedding party (7) are from the same friend group and the other 3 don't know any of the other party members. The 3 however are friends with some of the other guests that wouldn't be at the head table so he was thinking they would have more fun sitting elsewhere with them. I just wouldn't want them to think they aren't important enough to sit with us and be offended, but my fiancee thinks they will not have as good a time at the head table area. Thoughts?

Seating chartUnconventional seating chart? 1



11 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on December 11, 2019 at 12:55
  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    Have you considered a sweetheart table for the 2 of you? I highly recommend it! We had a pretty small wedding party, but it was nice for them that they got to sit with their significant others, or friends. And it was nice for us to have that space for the two of us.

    Unconventional seating chart? 2

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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    I’d ask them. Propose both options to them with the explanation that you want them to enjoy the night the best.
    Or I agree with the others and do a sweetheart table.
    • Reply
  • Janaya
    Expert August 2019 Saskatchewan
    Janaya ·
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    We did a sweetheart table Smiley smile it was the best decision we made because our wedding party got to sit with their significant others and we had a moment together to chat and take in the whole thing. I highly recommend it

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Oh cool that looks awesome!! its so different i love it!! im putting all my wedding party with their husbands/kids. i think some people prefer not to have everyone looking at them while they eat LOL!

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  • Michelle
    Expert October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Michelle ·
    • Dispute

    Some of our wedding party won't be sitting at the head table with us because they would rather sit with family, so I don't think it would be too weird to have some of your party not sitting with you (but it would be best to check with them if they would rather sit with their close friends)

    The other option is doing a sweetheart table instead of a head table, just sit with your fiancee and have your wedding party spread out with their significant others.


    Also, the seating plan is just for a little while for dinner, so if you want to have all of your wedding party at the head table I wouldn't worry about it being too awkward for those that aren't in the same friend group for too long

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  • S
    Expert September 2020 Quebec
    Shannon ·
    • Dispute

    I like the idea of a sweet heart table. At first FH said no, he wanted the whole bridal party and officiant sitting at the head table. Same as you 5 & 5 plus officiant plus us, thats a huge setup.

    But i lucked out, when we went to our menu tasting the room was set up. So I took him and sat him down, ask him to picture our wedding day. Then I asked, do you still wanna sit at a table of 13 tring to enjoy your meal. He broke and agreed to a sweet heart table that over looks everyone.


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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    We had 5 and 5 with a big head table and it was fine for us Smiley smile Best bet would be to just poll the wedding party if it makes no difference to you or the flow of the room and see what they say. Things like this we would just put in the wedding party FB group chat!

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  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne Online ·
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    Myself it wouldn't really matter. It's just dinner and once it's over you are free to sit where you like. I'm pretty outgoing. If you have options for both I would ask them what they prefer.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    I also thought about a more unconventional seating chart with the head table, where the wedding party could've sat with S/Os at their own table and we'd do a sweetheart table. We ended up doing the regular head table - once dinner and speeches are done, people went off and mingled, including the wedding party, so it doesn't matter a whole lot at the end of the day where people sit.

    You could do what Samantha suggested and ask if they want to sit at the head table or with other guests/their S/Os.

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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
    • Dispute

    I'd be asking them what they'd prefer, that way you get their opinion and they won't be blind-sided if you do sit them at a different table and will know you're reasoning for it. In this situation, I'm on the shy and quieter side around people I'm not familiar with and would prefer to be seated with people I do know. There was one wedding where I was seated with a whole table where I knew no one, and was pretty uncomfortable. But if those 3 friends are more outgoing and comfortable around new people then they'd probably love to have the opportunity to get to know the others. Either way, asking their opinion won't hurt. One thing to think about, once you've had some bridal/bridesmaid shopping trips, engagement party, bachelorette party, bridal shower etc etc the ones outside the group of friends may get closer to everyone else and have no problem with sitting with you and the rest of the wedding party.

    Also, what Amelia suggested for the sweetheart table is a great way of getting around that too! FH and I are having a sweetheart table exactly for the reason of having alone time and enjoying being in each other's company before everything else happens.

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    Is there an option to do a sweetheart table? Then you and your fiance are separate and the others can be mixed in through the harvest tables.


    Plus I've heard that sweetheart tables are great for a little alone time on your big day!
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