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Alyssa
Newbie October 2021 Ontario

To Postpone or Not to Postpone....

Alyssa, on November 17, 2020 at 15:03 Posted in Ontario 0 7
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Hi community!

My fiance and I are really struggling on what to do for our wedding. OF COURSE, ultimately it is our decision but i'm curious as to what other people are thinking and maybe there's some advice out there that we haven't thought of.

Our golf club reception venue cancelled on us a couple weeks ago, stating they won't be doing any weddings for the first half of 2021. We live in Ottawa, Ontario which was just back in red zone, but many 'country' areas around stayed in the orange zone. We ended up finding a venue that will cost ~$20,000 for a 3 hr open bar at cocktail hour, for 80 guests. It is outdoor and tented, so we can have up to 100 people as per current Ontario guidelines.

My biggest issue is........ they won't let us have a dance. First, I can't picture my DREAM wedding without a dance and party afterwards. I also can't picture spending $20,000 on a venue that won't have a reception. My other option is potentially having our ceremony in a park and then going back to my inlaws for an afterparty/reception but we would only be allowed 25 and that won't even include our immediate family and wedding party. We REALLY don't want to postpone. We want to start our lives and have a baby in the near future. Another option is baby first, wedding after but i'm worried that our priorities will of course change after having a baby.


IM SO TORN!!!!! And people thought NORMAL wedding planning was hard! Smiley sad

7 Comments

Latest activity by Brooklyn, on November 26, 2020 at 14:28
  • Brooklyn
    Curious February 2021 Ontario
    Brooklyn ·
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    Unfortunately for red zone if it is and organized event other than the ceremony these are the limits.

    "Limit for all organized public events and social gatherings, where physical distancing can be maintained: • 5 people indoors • 25 people outdoors" copied from the website that was posted.

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  • Brooklyn
    Curious February 2021 Ontario
    Brooklyn ·
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    That is true...

    You can have 100 outdoors or 30% capacity of the indoor room for a wedding for the ceremony. and that doesn't change until lockdown.

    Where there it becomes 10

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  • Natalie
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Natalie ·
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    Hi

    So, you mentioned not wanting to spend 20k on a venue that doesn't fit all your needs, especially your first dance. You also said you can potentially have the wedding at a park and then have a party at your in-laws home. Have you thought of having two parties, if you are celebrating on the weekend, maybe one with your closest family and friends, and then the second with your 2nd list (it can have a different theme/vibe). You would still have to follow certain rules, I believe, but this way you can still celebrate with everyone.

    Many things can also change from here until May. My wedding is scheduled for June, but I have a hold for October. My venue is open for us to change the date, however, for the June date, they can't say much until 4-3 months before. I wish you the best. Good luck!

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  • Avery
    Beginner August 2022 Alberta
    Avery ·
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    I'm having the same issue here! I live in Edmonton, AB, and we have super high numbers (no good). Our mayor just announced we have mandatory masks till NEXT DECEMEBER. I don't want to get married with a mask, I don't want my guests sitting 6 feet apart, I want a buffet. I'm not sure if I sound selfish or not, but like you said, wedding planning on its own is hard enough.

    I would vote that you should postpone, it really sucks, but imagine looking back on that day and regretting parts or wishing something else had happened. Do your wedding the way you want to, and if you have to wait another year or two, then you do.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Ugh, the PDF that lists everything literally says "Measures from previous levels (Red Zone)" followed by "Maximum of 50 people per facility" for Orange. Tthey can't do anything right...

    Here's the thing - our own Chief Medical Officer of Health has NO IDEA what he's doing. When asked with what lock down measures would entail, he blurted our rhetorical hypothetical questions back at the reporters and then said "we need to figure it out." They had eight months to figure it out!!! Our government really sucks...

    But I digress... Smiley xd

    It's not just the lack of dancing. Unless you have more than 2880 sq ft of space (6ft per person in each direction), your guests are technically supposed to be masked up and stay put where they are. No roaming around during cocktail hour, no moving around from one table to another. And at $20K, it's pretty pricey for a 80 person limited time wedding that's operating not in your ideal scenario. I'd rather save the money and use it for a proper party when things are fine again. But that's just me. We're in the same boat as you and though we can technically have our wedding (with a lower guest cap since it's indoor due to it being winter) within the rules (6ft distance per side, max 4 people seating per table, masks, no one moving around, bar closes early etc), we hate the idea that our guests will feel uncomfortable from the restrictions or worse, flout the rules because they're in a celebratory mood.

    Is your venue banning the couple's first slow dance? Usually those aren't affected since it's low risk.

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  • Alyssa
    Newbie October 2021 Ontario
    Alyssa ·
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    Nope! Actually the new framework says 100 for outdoor venues!

    https://www.ontario.ca/page/covid-19-response-framework-keeping-ontario-safe-and-open

    My venue confirmed it too Smiley smile

    I know I'm putting WAY too much on the dance portion but when we both think of the wedding we thought we were going to have, obviously it included the party/reception. We have to either postpone or grieve the wedding we've dreamt of and have the wedding we can have. Both are crappy options. And i'm not trying to get sympathy.. so many people are in our position but i just CANT decide. I feel i'll have regrets either way

    Smiley sad

    But I really appreciate you answering! Thank you Smiley smile talking it through helps for sure

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Actually, Orange Zones are only allowed 25 outdoors for any events. This change was made on Nov 13 when everyone complained about how lax the original colour zone frame work is. The only regions permitted to have 100 person outdoor gatherings are those in the Green Zone.

    Based on that and from what you said your priorities and specific desires are for the wedding, I would postpone. A "dream wedding" is not needed for a marriage, which seems to be the marker you need to hit to continue the next chapter of your lives. And it seems the wedding you want is very specific and settling for less would make you unhappy.

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