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Newbie May 2018 Ontario

The "2nd" reception

Cori, on July 18, 2017 at 21:15 Posted in Wedding reception 0 5
Okay, I need some advice. My fiancé is from out of province. His family is great but they act like we have moved across the planet.... We are planning the wedding where we live now, and the guest list was a battle right outta the gates. I want to invite the friends and family that we're close with. I don't want a big wedding. His parents thought their whole family tree should be invited as that's apparently the norm out there. I argued that A) I am not comfortable having a ton of people at the wedding I don't know (alienating)B) they aren't all going to come all this way anyways ($$$&dollarSmiley winkingWe managed to compromise and said that we would go there and that they could arrange something casual there.Fast forward a few months. They have now booked a hall, are talking hiring a caterer and decorator and their guest list is larger than our wedding!! Our wedding isn't for 10months and they are planning this for 3 months post wedding and telling their family out there now.My question is am I being selfish by telling them to scale it back? I feel that they are taking this party more seriously than our actual wedding and in turn, less of their family will come here. I never wanted a big wedding and this is making me feel super uncomfortable. Not to mention, there's no guarantee I can even get the time off work with all the time I need off for the wedding. STRESSSSSSSSS!I need some unbiased opinions on what to do. His parents are very set in their ways and I don't think they understand the boundary difference between MOB and MOG. They are lovely people but this has brought the worse out in them.-C


Latest activity by Chanelle, on January 1, 2018 at 20:05
  • Chanelle
    Frequent user September 2019 British Columbia
    Chanelle ·
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    If they’re paying for everything at this second party, I think just go for it. They obviously love you two and are so excited about you getting married that they want to do this for you and share it with all their family members, of which you will now be becoming one of them. Besides, less people at your original ceremony sounds like kinda what you were wanting, since it’ll save you money.

    If you don’t want the second party to feel so much like a wedding, maybe don’t wear a wedding dress - try to spin it more as a family reunion and a meet and greet opportunity.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    If you're goibg to have two receptions, it will work as you can entertain in another city after your actual wedding. Its been done as may SIL family did it when they got married.

    Everything will work out and everyone can enjoy themselves.
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  • Laura
    Super September 2017 Alberta
    Laura ·
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    If FH family is organizing and paying for it I wouldn't stress about it. Just show up and meet everyone and have fun. It doesn't take away from the wedding anymore than a shower or an engagement party would. Smiley smile Smiley heart

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  • B
    Super August 2017 Alberta
    Bethany ·
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    I think you should lighten up and look forward to two parties celebrating your wedding hahaha enjoy your wedding then in three months, go on a little get away where your husband can show off his new beautiful wife and party it up!
    I think his parents think they're compromising with you and don't think they're crossing any boundaries. They're basically hosting this second party so they're doing it how they'd do it. If you feel really strongly about this second party then def voice an opinion nicely lol as you'll be resentful if you don't.
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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    What does your FH have to say about all this? Does he support you in your opinions and back you up with his family? I think you need to voice your opinion to you FH and come up with a joint and strong response to his family. If this really isn't what you want then you need to make people aware of that. Your FH's family should put the focus on your wedding and not on this party they are hosting. You should not jeopardize your job and economic security for this party either. Hopefully your FH understands and will back you up with his family.

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