Sonia
Beginner November 2020 Alberta

Taking over last names

Sonia, on October 7, 2020 at 14:55 Posted in Before the wedding 2 20
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Hello soon to be brides or already married brights I just have a question here.


I know it’s tradition for the woman to take over the husband’s last name. But what if the husband wants to take over the wife’s last name?
My soon to be husband is saying his last name has no sentimental value to him due to the fact that he was never close to his father he doesn’t even know him at all or know anyone from that side of his family.
I am the last daughter that is getting married. My dad only had all girls. So I am the last one with the family name.
So my soon to be husband wants to take my last name so we can carry it on.
What is your opinion on keeping your last name or taking over your husband‘s last name?

20 Comments

Latest activity by Jazz, on October 14, 2020 at 08:56
  • Jazz
    Beginner October 2023 Ontario
    Jazz ·
    • Dispute

    I love that he is think past traditions ! I my self am in a similar predicament, where I am from a family of all girls , however the family name of my to be husband is important to him , so we agreed I would hyphenate our names and pass that down to our kids. It's the small gestures that makes a world of a difference. Also it is clear your significant other thought this through and deliberated the value in each name, and in this case, he weighed your family name more valuable. I wish your marriage the best of luck and love. And I hope you relationship stays a sweet as this tiny window of love you shared with us!!!!!

    • Reply
  • Kathleen
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Kathleen ·
    • Dispute

    How wonderful! I love it. If he wants to, then do it!

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Newbie August 2021 Ontario
    Danielle ·
    • Dispute

    I honestly think this is an old tradition that doesn't need to be followed anymore. I personally hate it.
    I also don't want to have a different last name than my kids, who I think we should be able to give the mothers last name to if we choose. I'm in Ont. Canada, and I don't believe we can do that unless the father is not in the picture.
    I'm not changing my name - its a ton of work!! And women were forgotten and lost often in history due to the change of last name. Why can't he change his last name to mine?

    • Reply
  • Britney
    Newbie October 2023 Alberta
    Britney ·
    • Dispute
    My Fiance is the same, no sentimental value to his last name, he actually hates it and has always wanted to change it, before we even got engaged I joked that he could have mine, and he agreed. From that day on we had both agreed and stayed in agreement after our engagement that he would take my last name since I love mine and he wants a change.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted June 2022 Ontario
    Laura ·
    • Dispute

    That is so sweet! I love that idea.

    We'll just be keeping our names as is. I don't see the need to take his name; I'm quite attached to mine and our kids can just take his so he can continue the family name.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Curious August 2022 Ontario
    Christina ·
    • Dispute
    I absolutely love this idea! And if it works for you guys then why not! Best of luck Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • O
    Newbie October 2023 Alberta
    Olivia ·
    • Dispute
    Whatever works for you!
    • Reply
  • Leah
    Curious April 2022 Ontario
    Leah ·
    • Dispute
    I think this is amazing- keep your last name and have your soon to be husband take it! I know a family that did this as well and it was an admirable thing to do. Good luck with everything!
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Expert July 2022 Ontario
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE this idea, especially if he doesn't have that VALUE to carry it on, I think it would be beautiful for you to carry it on instead, and I am sure your Dad would be VERY happy about that. I would have LOVED to keep my last name as its VERY sentimental to me, but in my culture I do take my husbands name and that is what I am doing.

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  • Nicole
    Newbie October 2021 Ontario
    Nicole ·
    • Dispute

    My fiancé and I thought of it too as I am on the same boat. We come from very traditional backgrounds so I wouldn't want him to change his last name to mines but we decide that our kids will take on my last name instead

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
    • Dispute
    FH thought the same for us, since I'm the last of my name he was willing to change his to mine since his family has his brother still to carry on their's. But I don't really mind either way. I was kind of excited to take his actually since my initials would then be S.A.M (my name is Sam) so I just always got a kick out of that lol. But to not have to go through the hassle of changing all my government documents sounds nice too 😂 if I do end up taking his then we'll name our first child after my last name since it can easily be made into a more masculine version as it's already a typical female name. Basically do whatever you both are comfortable with!
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Beginner August 2021 New Brunswick
    Kristen ·
    • Dispute
    I mean, Jay-Z took Beyoncé’s last name (pretty sure they hyphenated, but still).
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Beginner October 2020 Ontario
    Sara ·
    • Dispute
    I think it's an awesome idea! My hubby and I had thought about it!
    • Reply
  • Kailey
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Kailey ·
    • Dispute
    I think that's awesome! I did not change my last name as I am the youngest girl and my dad only had girls as well so I want to keep it with me. My son will carry on my husbands name which was important to him but I will continue with my last name and he is totally okay with that.
    • Reply
  • J
    Curious July 2022 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute
    I honestly think this is so cool! Especially it being your future husbands idea. If your last name holds a special place for both of you I say go for it Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Featured January 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    My last name has no meaning for me and I'm gladly giving it up. I can understand your husband wanting to carry on a name that means something to both of you. If it nakes you both happy 100% go for it.
    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute
    I think it’s all up to personal choice. I’m not taking my partner’s last name and he won’t be taking mine.
    If your husband wants to take your name I think that’s awesome! There’s such a double standard with taking a partner’s last name and I hope it continues to change to be more accepted no matter what couples choose.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    I think that’s entirely up to you guys and what you guys want to do! It'll be your last name for the rest of your lives! I think it's special and very unique that he'll have your last name instead!

    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I was willing to change mine, merge our last names, or stay the same. My now husband wasn't a fan of changing his name. So that eliminated my favorite plan (we for have been the Warfields!). Ultimately I decided to change mine so that we are a family unit. And I love monogram stuff and this is a change to get cute "W" door mats and towels and all that lame jazz 😉

    If yours wants to then I say go for it! One of my coworkers is also recently married and they are each taking the others names and hyphenating.
    • Reply
  • Mais
    Frequent user September 2020 Ontario
    Mais ·
    • Dispute
    I think that’s entirely up to you two and I think that is something really romantic and unique to carry the family name. Yours that is. I’m changing mine because it’s important to me to carry my husbands last name but also I have 2 younger brothers that will carry my last name. I really think you should do it and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact it’s unique and super cute
    • Reply

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