Stag and Does - Your Thoughts

Stag and does are amazing. Theyre not tacky. Its a fun night to celebrate and party with everyone ! The wedding party usually helps a lot and that way you CAN celebrate with people you might not invite to the wedding (co workers etc) its honestly a fun excuse to party hard lol and of course raise funds. I go to them all the time and i think theyre great. Just my opinion !!!

I’ve never heard of this before maybe it’s similar to a social? I heard lots of people in Manitoba do those and they’re basically fundraisers for the wedding? but this isn’t something we do around where I live. We’ve invited 370 guests and are paying for a lot of the wedding ourselves however both parents have offered to pay for a couple things that were quite expensive so that has helped a lot! We’re still paying for the rest ourselves and I wouldn’t expect my family or friends to help pay for our wedding so I guess I’m not a fan of the idea.

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I've been to a lot of Italian weddings and Stag and Does are not a "thing", big showers are. You may have to compromise with the shower. I have yet to go to an Italian wedding shower that was under 100 people. Usually though, MOB pays for the shower.

Great feedback all - I’m torn about it but would rather have a small bridal shower... I feel like if you plan ahead enough you are able to spread out payments to vendors. I get that it’s becoming the latest fad but I think it’s also a little different than like an open bar being more of a “thing” people do nowadays for their wedding. With a huge Italian family on both sides I’m trying to keep our list at 350 meanwhile I feel like we lose our on some friends to invite that we might be able to celebrate with at the stag and doe and it would help with costs but they seem sooo hectic to plan...

View quoted message I could not AGREE with you more!!
I have even heard of people who use these things as a fundraiser for their honeymoon.
I know weddings are expensive for the bride and groom but if you cannot afford the type of wedding you've always dreamed of then you should downsize your dream a bit (let's call it a budgetary compromise) or hold off until you have the money. It shouldn't be expected that your friends and family pay for a wedding you cannot afford - especially if they are not actually invited to the wedding.
Stag and Doe's, to me, feel like just another way wedding "traditions" are geared to get more money from people. You pay for a ticket to attend the party, you pay for your drinks, you pay to play the games, you pay for the raffle(s), you pay for the silent auction bid, etc....where does it end?!
Like Courtney, I just don't think it is right to have others fund your wedding, or honeymoon, because you cannot afford it.

I've never been to one.

However, there's a girl I work with who goes to them all the time and sings their praises.

It may be a city/country thing although none of my country cousins ever had one. I think the thought of paying for booze at a party is a little tacky.

I think they are a super tacky way to get people to pay for your wedding and then not invite them to the actual event - plain rude

I've never heard of a stag and doe before I came to this site. Just not something done in my family or circle of friends. I do think asking people to travel, arrange babysitting, and bring a gift is asking plenty already. Asking my guests to fund raise and pay into the games and raffles almost feels like I may as well ask them to contribute towards the cost at the door when they arrive for the wedding. But if it's common in your circle of friends and family, why not do it if everyone else does and expects it?

Pros and cons. I used to think it was awful. I would find myself getting invited to them by ppl but not to the wedding! But now I'm considering having one myself to earn a few bucks! But I would still restrict it to family only and I would have that instead of a bridal shower

I agree that I don’t like the idea of “fundraising” for a wedding, but some people enjoy them. My FH plans to do one but he loves card games and a lot of people are excited for it.

I might have an unpopular opinion, but I REALLY dislike Stag and Does.

I understand that Stag and Does came from certain cultures or communities, where the community got together to help 'put on' or 'fund' the wedding. However, most brides/grooms don't have this sort of background and are just doing it to raise funds.

While I acknowledge that weddings are more expensive every year, it is still up to the Bride and Groom how much they want to spend for their wedding. There are ways to have a smaller, less expensive wedding than to do the traditional route that costs an average of $30K. Because of this, I think its unfair to demand or expect others to help pay for an event that you are choosing to put on at that cost. If you can't afford the $30K wedding, then don't have that size wedding or postpone and save up.

Wedding guests often times need to buy clothing to wear, find babysitters, travel/book hotel rooms and also are expected to provide cash or gifts on the wedding day in addition to Engagement party, and wedding/bridal showers and the associated gifts for those events.

Not to mention, a lot of bride/grooms expect their Bridal party to pay for new clothes, accessories, hair/make up, engagement party gifts, bridal shower (gifts or helping host it), bachelor/ette costs and potentially wedding day gifts. Asking the Bridal party to help find donations, host, and in many cases I've seen the bride/groom demand the bridal party help pay for the Stag and Doe (meanwhile not paying them back from the funds raised).. I just don't think it's right.

/endrant

We had one in August 7 hours from where we live as his family wanted to hold one for us. It's completely different than what we do here in the city we live in. I didn't expect to make much from it but we still made about $4000 in literally under 3 hours. It's great to help you pay for things towards the wedding but it's a lot of work to put everything together.

Stag and doe's really help raise money! you can do multiple games, raffles prizes, 50/50 draws. If you have a good wedding crew they help with setting up and putting all this on. Get people to take turns on hosting games, selling alcohol tickets, checking ID's at the door. My sister in law made around 7'000. Don't pick a busy summer month as its harder when your in a town and multiple are on the same night. I would pick an off month!

It also depends if you know a lot of people the outcome of it as well, there are many new rules regarding how you can advertise it and you cant sell tickets at the door. There has to be a list and all that now. I would pick a venue that you can sell your own booze at as this is a big money maker.