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Joey
WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland

Stag and Doe - yes or no??

Joey, on December 3, 2019 at 14:53 Posted in Before the wedding 0 32

Will you have a stag and doe, or are you skipping this particular pre-wedding party? Are they popular in your area?

If you're having one, what kinds of activities do you have planned?

Stag and Doe - yes or no?? 1

Photo by The Love Of Art & Design in Caledon

Want to learn more about stag & doe parties? Read more in How to Plan a Stag and Doe (or Jack and Jill) Party




32 Comments

Latest activity by Tori, on December 9, 2019 at 12:57
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Depends on the kind of Bride you are. For me - it fell mostly on myself but that's because I am a control freak and have to do everything my way. You're supposed to delegate and assign people to do things instead of doing it all yourself Smiley atonished

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  • K
    Newbie August 2020 Nova Scotia
    Kristen ·
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    Are stag and does more of a west Canada thing? Haven’t heard of any on the east coast. How do we bring the tradition here?! I’ve always thought it was an awesome idea.
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  • Cockerton
    Curious October 2022 Ontario
    Cockerton ·
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    Do you get your bridal party to do a lot of the planning for you or does it fall to the couple?
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  • Cockerton
    Curious October 2022 Ontario
    Cockerton ·
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    The cake idea is a good one!
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  • Cockerton
    Curious October 2022 Ontario
    Cockerton ·
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    This is awesome idea!
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  • B
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
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    My fiancé will likely have one as he was a large group of close friends, I actually don’t even want to know what they will do as I’m sure i won’t like it. I am probably just going to have a movie and dinner date with my bestie as I don’t have many close girlfriends and my other bridesmaid lives 8hrs away.
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Were not doing this but this sounds fun!! i think lots of drinking games or money games would help you guys raise some $$

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  • Melissa
    Devoted September 2021 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I love this! My FH has been curling since he was 8 and we joined a social league this year together. I am definitely sharing this idea with him!

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  • Emily
    Curious August 2022 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    We are doing a bonspiel (curling). We booked the venue and it was inexpensive and charging each person/team to play as well as offering a couple of prizes. It has not been a ton of work and it is something we would have organized regardless!


    We won't make as much as a traditional stag and doe but are just looking to cover/subsidize some of our alcohol costs.


    Smiley smile

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  • Chere-Lee
    Frequent user October 2020 Ontario
    Chere-Lee ·
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    Back to the Awesome 80's Stag & DoeStag and Doe - yes or no?? 2

    We are having one - May 2, 2020!! It is a very popular thing in Hamilton, Ontario. Our wedding is on the smaller side (to keep costs down) so the Stag and Doe is mainly to get everyone out to have a good time. Affordable drinks, win some great prizes and ours is 80's themed so it should be a blast! I joke that it will be more fun than the wedding. We will have reasonable ticket prices $10 which covers a ticket into the door prize draw ($400 + worth of alcohol) and guests do not need to be in attendance to win the door prize and the ticket also covers food. My FH works at one of the most popular restaurants in Hamilton and we will have some food from his restaurant as well. We will have a few games (i.e. tooney toss - with a large bottle of alcohol and a Michael Kors purse, find the bride and groom - people pay for a playing card and win a prize if they buy the card with one of our pictures on it, cash prize for the best dressed 80's style). We will have a 50/50 draw - no give backs (most people feel obligated to donate their winning 50/50 back to the bride and groom but we would rather they keep their winnings). We will have a fantastic door prize and lots of themed baskets to buy tickets for and win (retro gaming basket, family board game basket, date night out basket, Starbucks baskets (my Uncle is a manager at Starbucks), etc.). We have a live DJ - who is a friend of mine who has offered to DJ for free. We have a makeshift photo-booth with 80's themed props.

    Being that ours is about 5 months away, we have everything in full swing and are VERY excited for it!

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  • Vanessa
    Devoted December 2021 Ontario
    Vanessa ·
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    We won’t be having one. They are Quite popular in our area as our town is a little bit smaller so people just like to come out and drink and try to win a prize.
    Every wedding I’ve been in (8 to date) has had a stag and doe and almost every single couple told me that they wish they didn’t do it. Mainly because it’s a ton of work, the commitment is huge and you really have no idea how many people are going to show up.
    However, they are a good time and it gives you a chance To invite people to celebrate that may not be invited to that actual wedding. If you do choose to have one, good luck and I hope it turns out well!

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  • Kadi
    Curious August 2021 Alberta
    Kadi ·
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    My friends just had one. They called it a jack and Jill. They had a 50/50 draw, a door prize. They also had a few decks of cards laid out where some had prizes written on them and youd buy as many as you wanted with a chance to win something. The coolest thing they had was two jars. One with her name and one with his. The jar with the most money in to at the end of the night got cake thrown in there face by the other one lol. One of the best oarties I have ever been to. Also had jello shots for sale Smiley smile
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  • Chantal
    Newbie January 2021 Ontario
    Chantal ·
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    I didn't want the headache of planning a second party to raise money for my wedding so instead I held a raffle. I had three really big prizes and got my wedding party and family to sell tickets for me. We filmed ourselves drawing the winners and contacted them afterwards. I ended up making nearly $2,000 after paying off the cost of the prizes.

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  • Allison
    Curious June 2021 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Will definitely not be having one. I know lots of people who have them and love them, but asking people to donate prizes or spend a night dishing out money for my wedding is just not something I'm into. No thank you!

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  • S
    Expert September 2020 Quebec
    Shannon ·
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    It's common where we live in Quebec. I can't wait to plan ours. So far we will have a door prize to entice ppl to buy the tickets even if they don't come they have a chance to win something. Maybe 3 for 5$. Really cheap. This way people don't mind giving away a few dollars and those dollars add up.
    Also thinking of 50/50, who doesn't want to win some cash.
    I plan on having ours in the summer so I can have it outside. Lawn games and bomb fire with some eats.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    In Thunder Bay (where we live), we call them shags and they have less of the games/activities - like stag and does in Southern Ontario. Any of the shags I've been to have 50/50 draws, raffle prizes, drink tickets but it's pretty much it.

    Also, I find stag and does have more of a restrictive guest list whereas anyone goes to shags in Thunder Bay, even if you don't even know the couple/wedding party

    We didn't have a shag/stag and doe. Our wedding party and parents are all scattered so it wouldn't work to get everyone together to pull it off.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    LOL YES!

    I read your comment and was like, Idk if it's a right of passage - but then it was followed by "every couple must suffer" and YUP! That's exactly what it is.

    Like, I love going to them because it's way better than going to a club or something and the drinks are cheap (usually) and prizes are always a great incentive - but putting one together is THE WORST! Way more difficult than planning the wedding itself.. but it does have the reward of making quite a lot of money if you do it right/ have lots of friends and family!

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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    "Stag and Doe" can be a confusing name, because in some places in the word bach parties are called stag parties (bachelor parties) and hen nights (bachelorettes)!

    My DH and I had separate bach parties too; even though my party was co-ed having separate parties let us do the different kinds of activities we liked best. We didn't have a wedding social/stag & doe before our wedding, they were not common in the area where we were living.


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  • Joey
    WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
    Joey ·
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    I love hearing about where these socials are popular and where they aren't common, it varies so much

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  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
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    We’re not having one. Ours is too small for it to be feasible, and I’d feel like inviting people to the stag and doe and not the wedding would be unkosher, just for my feelings.
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  • M
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    They aren't like bachelor/bachelorette parties. They are essentially fundraisers. The guests pay for tickets and then are expected to participate in games/raffles which cost money. All the collected money then goes to the couple.
    I don't think you're missing anything.
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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    Ditto! Never heard of them in New Brunswick either. Are we missing out do you think?
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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    I had never heard of a stag and doe before joining this app! I don't think they exist in the maritimes. Are they separate from bachelor/bachelorette parties?


    We will have our own separate bachelorette and bachelor parties. My future hubby will either have a video game boys night in or a night out with golf and lazer tag, whereas I want to have a night out with my girls. I wouldn't want to share a party because we enjoy such different things.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    We will not be having a stag and doe.
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  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    We call them wedding socials here. And yes, almost everybody has one, its like a weird and terrible marriage right of passage every couple must suffer.

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  • M
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    I'd say it's pretty split where I live. I think they are more common with very young couples or those in more rural areas/small towns.
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  • Caitlyn
    Super January 2020 Ontario
    Caitlyn ·
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    We had a stag and doe mid September this year. They're quite common in our area here in Southern Ontario. All my older cousins had one when they got married. Our's was a sports theme because my fiance is a sports nut. we had basket ball, golf, baseball, hockey and football games with the premise "how many shots can you sink/score, highest number wins a prize." We had a toonie toss (which we called toonie curling). We had raffles for prizes, a 50/50 draw and find the joker game too.

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    We aren't having one ourselves, but a few of our friends have and it was a great time!
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    It is big in Niagara Falls. I won't be having one though. I have helped run 3 of them.
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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    It's definitely more of a small town Ontario type thing where everyone knows everyone. But others in Ontario have picked it up here and there too
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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    I'm all for them, but it's not something that FH and I thought was necessary for ourselves. I know people more of my parents generation that had them rather than couples closer to my age
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  • Michelle
    Expert October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Michelle ·
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    I had never heard of this before joining weddingwire, it's definitely not very popular in Nova Scotia

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