sos Jack and Jill, Engagement or Nothing?!?!?

It would be best not to have anything as the family/friends you invite to the engagement party may develop expectations of receiving a wedding invitation as a result of being invited to the former.

I would invite those who mean something to you to the actual wedding; keep in mind that because you intend to elope in Europe that many people will likely decline the invitation anyway due to cost, distance, etc.

I would do an engagement party for sure then! A jack and Jill is usually to raise money for your wedding! So I wouldnt do that as people might think you're asking for money from them for something they're not invited to. An engagement party is a great idea!

Congrats Amanda - a European wedding sounds lovely. It’s really up to you what you do, although I think most people like the post-wedding receptions so they can see photos and hear stories.

My FH and I are doing the same thing, but to Vegas. We’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to have a reception when we return and ultimately decided not to as our small wedding was to save money and time (I’ve never had a desire to plan a big wedding - and both our families are BIG).

I think it comes down to what you want and can afford. If you’re doing a small wedding because you don’t want a big party, then don’t feel pressured to have the big party. But if you want to celebrate, go for it! The beauty of (semi) elopement is you get to do what you and your FH want.

Congrats!

I agree with what has been said already. I'd skip anything that is meant to raise money for the couple, such as a Jack & Jill, but would still encourage you to host an engagement party and bridal shower. I second Brittany's idea of hosting an après-wedding reception either at home or at a hall with your extended family. It can be as fancy or as laid back you'd like too!

That's exactly what my cousin did: he eloped in Hawaii and hosted a "reception" back home with their families. It was pretty sweet seeing their slideshow and having them tell us short stories about certain pictures or moments of the day.

Congratulations!

I'm in agreement with an engagement party... or perhaps even a post-wedding at-home reception party? Then you could even put together a slide show or something of photos of the wedding for people to see?

Don't hesitate to have your traditional at-home parties: Bridal Shower, Bachelor/Bachelorette parties... Many female family members still would like to be included in smaller events like that, even though they won't be traveling for the wedding!

Best of luck. The most important thing is you and your SO being happy!

Congratulations on the engagement Amanda!!

As Alexandra stated, it would be a bit of a faux pas to hold a Jack & Jill or anything like such as it is meant to raise money for the couple. If you do end up having a celebration I would say to instead of having an engagement party - have an at home reception? It could be the same idea as how it would be more of a lunch or afternoon type thing but with the addition of having people possibly bring you a gift. I know I said no to the jack & jill event but the chances are high that even if they don't get to attend the wedding that they will still want to give you a little something-something to congratulate you. With that being said, whether you put something to indicate not to bring gifts is up to you. Some people see it as if you thought they were going to get you something to begin with and others see it as a good way of informing the guests in a weird situation like this. Personally I wouldn't mention anything and if they ask if you have a registry just let them know you aren't wanting anything (if they persist - go for it and tell em!)

Hey Amanda, welcome to the wedding wire community!

I think in this case a party where you invite other people would be completely fair, as long as everyone know that you are doing a smaller destination wedding! I wouldn’t do a Jack & Jill but an engagement party would be fun! I think with a Jack & Jill since the premise is usually to fundraise money for the wedding (correct me if I’m wrong! we don’t have anything like that here) it seems a little rude to invite people to pitch money into something they won’t be invited to!.