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Curious July 2019 Alberta

Slightly overbearing bridesmaid

Christine, on October 3, 2017 at 00:06 Posted in Alberta 0 5

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We just had our engagement party on Sept 23rd. We announced our wedding party. One of my bridesmaids is my best friend. My fiance and I have decided that we are not assigning MOH and Bestman. During our party we were asked if we have decided on venue, food, things like that. We have decided that we want a completely casual reception. It will be like camping. We will be on an acerage and don't want to make a big deal out of the reception. The cemeony is the only part we want to be big. When it came to our choice of food, later that night after my best friend had left, she mesaged me and said that having "pizza fried chicken, wings,etc" would be to expensive and she thinks big pots of spagettii, garlic bread and salad would be better. Well, this is not the only thing she has voiced her opinion on. She's not very nice about it either, she says it in a way that's more "my way or the highway" My brother is going to walk me down the aisle and she feels that she should walk me down the asile due to the past of my brother and I. I'm not sure how to handle this situation as I don't want to hurt her feelings. I have stressed in many conversations that I want an easy going stress free wedding. My fiance and I are paying for this and we want it to be as low cost and stress free as possible.Ant advice. TIA

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Christine, on October 10, 2017 at 13:38

Curious July 2019 Alberta
Christine · On October 10, 2017 at 13:38
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Thank you do much!!
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Beginner October 2018 Quebec
MJay · On October 9, 2017 at 22:21
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This is fantastic advice! I wanted to comment on it so that I can find it easily later when I need a re-read.
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Devoted November 2017 Ontario
Melissa · On October 9, 2017 at 22:15
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I also have a bridesmaid who is a bit overbearing. She is a planner and very detail orientated by nature, so she is trying to help us plan our big day. Some of her ideas and offers of help have been great and much appreciated, because I'm not a delegator and was trying to do it all by myself. But there have been times I have had to say "thanks for your idea..." or "we hadn't considered doing it that way..." but there have also been things we have had to say "...that's not what WE want for OUR wedding"
There are nice ways to say no thanks to input, but there are times when you have to just be firm about it and say "no thanks"!
Good luck! It's a hard position to be in when everybody thinks their plans are better than yours, but the bottom line is that it is YOUR day!!
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Curious July 2019 Alberta
Christine · On October 3, 2017 at 17:36
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Thank you so much for the advice. 😊
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WeddingWire Admin May 2015 Maryland
Joey · On October 3, 2017 at 11:41
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I'm sorry. This is pretty common though, lots of people will offer you opinions throughout the planning process, you get engaged and suddenly everyone is a wedding planner. My best weapon I can suggest is the positive noncommittal response. "Thanks for looking out for me, I appreciate you trying to consider our budget" "What an interesting idea, I've never heard of doing it that way before" "I'm not ready to decide XYZ yet but I will think about that suggestion". You thank the person for their suggestion and make them feel appreciated without committing to taking their idea on board. I'm sure your friend's heart is in the right place, but you don't need to take any of her suggestions.
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