Second wedding- can I have a wedding shower??

View quoted message

I know this is a really old thread, but I just stumbled across it and I wanted to add something. I too, am getting married for the second time and I had the same thoughts and feelings. My bridesmaids asked if I wanted a shower and I didn't know what to say. I felt like I would be asking too much to have another one, (it has nothing to do with gifts, FH and I have everything we need) but then my mom told me not to worry about other peoples thoughts about it. Honestly, planning a second wedding has brought up so many mixed feelings for me. People that I thought would be happy and supportive have come up a bit lack-luster in their support and that's been disheartening. You're right - it's not about the gifts at all. it's about support and feeling like it's okay to be happy again - and I don't think it's too much to ask for others to be happy for you as well. I hope you did get your shower, and I hope it was (or is, if it's in the future) a fantastic day for you!!

I would attend a first shower second shower third shower ill always support my friends and family! since your FH hasnt been married DO IT!

I personally would not attend a shower for a second marriage if I had already attended one for the first wedding- I would, however, attend a BBQ or luncheon that was not specifically indicated to be a shower and would probably bring a small gift (champagne, cheese board, ‘hostess-gift’ type things).

That said, as someone who got married a little later than average, has the financial means to buy anything I need for a household, and has lived with my SO for several years - I find showers in said circumstances a little distasteful. We had a BBQ pre-wedding party- people brought gifts, and they were very appreciated, but I still felt grabby.

Of course you can have another shower. Don't worry about anyone who doesn't attend. You'll have people there to support you no matter what.

Of course! You’re getting married! No reason why you shouldn’t have a shower just because you’ve been married before. Enjoy the whole process!

I totally say go for it!! I've never been married and my fiance is divorced (a few years ago too) and we are having two Jack and Jill wedding showers! I'm from Alberta and he is from Ontario. We live in Alberta but we are getting married in August in Ontario so we invited our Alberta guests to a shower hosted by my parents in June and my fiance's parents are hosting a shower for our Ontario guests next week once we arrive. His family is so happy to host a second shower for him and a lot of the guests that came to his first wedding shower seem excited to be coming because they see how happy he is now. We didn't tell guests that came to his first wedding that they don't have to bring a gift. I don't think you should have to do that either. I don't think that a divorce should damper your wedding shower for your second wedding at all! If anyone feels they don't want to come or don't want to bring a gift then that's up to them. I think you should invite everyone you want there and see who comes. Celebrate with those who want to be there to celebrate your happiness. ♥️

Yay! Congratulations!!

My fiance and I recently had a jack and jill BBQ showing and it was AWESOME! I say go for it! No need to write anything special for the 2nd time attendees. If they want to be sour grapes about it, bully for them. The people that want to be there and support you will make the effort. Its your fiance's first wedding and first shower, so why should his family be deprived of the festivities?

View quoted message

I see what you mean, in that case I would say if they feel that strongly about you and your love life then they probably are the type of people who do stuff to not be talked about themselves. Which in turn, means that they may disagree with the divorce but they wouldn't want to be in other peoples mouths by not attending. At the end of the day this wedding shower is for the two of you and mostly for his side and embracing you into their family so don't let this get ya down!

I say go for it. You are still celebrating a marriage, and it would be nice to have your FH's family celebrate with you.

You could also just leave it open, and if people want to give cash then fine, if they want to give you a gift then cool.

My friend recently had a second marriage and shower- I didn't think people would show and they did. However, how they did things I thought was extremely rude. Because she didn't like games we got there she immediately opened gifts and then announced food and that was it. Basicly announced it like there is food if you would like but that's end of the shower. It came off pretty rude. People still spend the same amount of money that they normally would. If people support this marriage your about to have then they will come and give gifts or at least show up.

View quoted message It’s not so much about the gifts but rather them showing up to support me. A lot of my family was very against me getting divorced. So it’s been hard in general to feel supported during a time that should be fun and exciting.

I’m a second time bride and completely agree with Tori!

I'm with your Mom - by all means HAVE ONE!! It's a celebration! However, they have given stuff before so this time around it may not be as much from your side but his side has never had one so it should be more than okay!

I know that if I was invited to the first shower I tend to buy items that cost $50ish so if I was invited for the 2nd wedding shower I would probably only give a gift that is $30ish as I've already done this before.

I don't think a note is needed, but maybe on the invitations it can say something about how it's out with the old and in with the new. I completely get that time has gone by and your items will need updating and who wants to hold onto something you got from your last marriage?