Save the Dates Predicament

View quoted message That’s true as well, thank you!!

I would send the save the dates to everyone. just cuz your list is 130 doesnt mean 100% are coming for sure. things come up or people cant come etc etc

Hmm.. I may be a minority but I think if I were in that situation I’d hold off altogether or send them only to my absolute VIPs for fun. The situation is so dynamic and while I’m personally optimistic that gatherings of 100+ will be totally fine by November, we just don’t know. If you send them now and there are still problematic restrictions in Nov then you’ll have a) more administrative work (as you’ll have to formally rescind invitations) and b) some potentially awkward convos (if people demand to know why they’ve been cut).
I know that in other circumstances an address request can be interpreted as an informal invite but I’m sure most people you spoke with aren’t waiting on an official communication, given how the situation has evolved since February.
Also, I feel like many of the practical benefits of STDs - namely, giving people advance notice to book accommodations, finalize travel plans, etc. - don’t really apply under these circumstances. I don’t imagine many gusts will be rushing to book plane tickets and hotels.TL;DR - I would personally hold off and save the money on postage. But if you want to do them for fun, and the “cons” aren’t a huge concern, then you totally should!

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Thanks for the insights! These were some of my thoughts as well .. just going back and forth on all of our options and trying to agree on the best one.

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So out of the 130, we have about 50 people that may or may not be coming. My fiance is from Connecticut and his entire family lives there. It's more about the people that are near us that I wouldn't want to "un-invite" if things changed with numbers.

Thank you for your response and this gives me something else to think about because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings either.

Such a big mess everything is right now!

My other big issue is that everything will be fine for December in Canada but travel across boarders in still restricted .. then we might have to reschedule regardless.

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Thank you for your response and views of this situation. I feel like we will know way more in a couple months anyways and by then a lot of people will have decided what is good for them regarding travel. Our plan is to wait as long as we can for the invitations so we don't have to print them again.

You can still send them, as others have said people will be excited to have something to look forward to!


If you're really worried you could wait a bit, or send them to the people closest (emotionally and geographically) who are most likely to be able to attend.

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I agree with that too, a good portion of the people we are inviting are from the US so they will need that notice. Thanks for your thoughts!

How many people are travelling from far, or need to fly in? I'm in the same predicament as you but because we don't have anyone flying in or need to make any extensive travel plans, we don't have the same urgency to send everyone any info in case things change.

If possible, I personally would hold back. Most people who don't receive anything will understand given the circumstances, whereas it would be weird if you get a Save the Date but don't end up getting an invite.

I personally would still send out the save the dates. Most people will be excited to know that a wedding is going to happen and that they can also have your wedding date available to attend. If things happen to change like postponement because of this virus , you can always contact your guests again and let them know.

My fiance and I sent out our save the dates for our August 8 2020 wedding last August since all of our family will be traveling to BC. Now that we've had to postpone until next August, we've just contacted our guests to inform them that it's being pushed back a year instead of waiting until the last minute to make a decision about postponing.

I would still sen out the save the dates - as a guest I would completely understand with how Covid-19 is right now that the invite may be taken back, but I'd rather know in advance about the wedding instead of short notice if the limit is higher by then to then be invited.

Plus, at 130 people, if the max. is 100, I'm sure some guests will RSVP no just because they won't want to risk it if there are any bans still out there.