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Stefanie-Ann
Curious August 2022 Alberta

Removing a wedding party member

Stefanie-Ann, on July 1, 2021 at 21:14 Posted in WeddingWire 0 8
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I never thought I would have to make a post like this, however it has unfortunately had to come to a time where I feel like I have to do it.


I have a bridesmaid who as of late has been showing a lot of toxic behaviour and has basically been making me and my fiancé like absolute garbage. How would you go about wording that I no longer what her in my party. She is my cousin and I do love her, but I have thought long and hard about this decision and it wasn’t easy. Please do not try to talk me out of it. Just looking on the best way to word it without sounding rude.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Stefanie-Ann, on July 5, 2021 at 13:12
  • Stefanie-Ann
    Curious August 2022 Alberta
    Stefanie-Ann ·
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    Thank you! I ended up biting the bullet and getting it done. She didn’t take it very well (obviously) but now she’s making it sound as if I don’t want her there at all. When in my message I clearly stated to her I want her there as a guest
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Hank's explanation is good and saying what's not right and attending as a guest. Another way to make it sweet and simple could be: Dear Name, We are close as cousins, yet we seem to have concerns with you being a bridesmaid. We want to talk to you in person about some concerns we have with you and to step down from your role. We would love to have you as family at the wedding. Please let us know when is a good time to meet for coffee/meal.
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  • Stefanie-Ann
    Curious August 2022 Alberta
    Stefanie-Ann ·
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    Thank you 💖
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  • H
    Master September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    No worries. Everyone needs to cleanse toxic energy from them once in a while. Good luck!

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  • Stefanie-Ann
    Curious August 2022 Alberta
    Stefanie-Ann ·
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    I think that sounds pretty decent. I would probably change some of the wording just to make it more for our situation (I’ve literally not asked her to do a single thing yet) but otherwise I like it 💖. Thank you
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  • H
    Master September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Hey insert her name. Listen, we need to talk. This whole you being my bridesmaid deal isn't working out. There's some stuff going on feel free to be specific and it's clear none of us are having a good time with this process when we should be enjoying it. I appreciate you joining in the first place and all you've done so far but I feel like we're clearly not seeing eye to eye on a lot of stuff and us continuing like this will just damage our relationship. Of course, I'll still have you at the wedding to celebrate as a guest. Will you? If not, delete. But I think it's best if you step down from being a part of the bridal party.

    Something like that?

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  • Stefanie-Ann
    Curious August 2022 Alberta
    Stefanie-Ann ·
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    Not so much like a boss firing an employee, just the nicest way to say it. She’s going to be upset no matter what, but I just can’t take the toxicity anymore 😔
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  • H
    Master September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    How formal do you want it to sound? Like a boss firing an employee or are you able to be straight with this person and tell it as it is? I guess it'll depend on what kind of relationship you're expecting to have with this person after this.


    Personally, I would be straight up and tell it as it is, in person but I know not everyone is comfortable with face to face confrontation, especially amongst family.
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