Religious or civil ceremony???

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Someone will always compare, regardless - I'm going to get the "oh so and so should have been invited to the ceremony" (small ceremony - bigger post dinner reception) just do you.

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Yes, thinking of doing these! But of course there will still be comparisons on how a "traditional" wedding should be compared to ours. Still, we are doing it our way. We have decided on our civil officiant

So not religious at all but if you are already not doing a church wedding could you do something like ask a civil ceremony officiant to allow readings by guests and maybe pick two that are meaningful to family members that they can read during the ceremony?

I am in the same situation. I am religious and my fiancé is not. I always wanted a catholic church wedding but for my fiancé, I am going to go for a civil ceremony. Besides.. an outdoor wedding sounds better anyway! So win win. Our families respect our decision either way.

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You could also get a regular officiant to add in some prayers possibly? I just know that if my parents had pushed for a more religious ceremony then that's what I would have done (got a priest that was chill and probably the one who baptized me).

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I forgot to mention that we already booked our venue and it's not in a church! As I mentioned we are not religious.. only my family. This discussion was raised because we began talking to officiants. I guess it depends on how flexible the pastor can be with removing some prayers..

Some Officiants can always try to see if they can accommodate to your requests. However, most may not do so because their license is not allowing them to go that route.

You may have to choose the long way of religious to go with the family decision or compromise for FH going officiant to cut it short.

I would say that an easy medium would be:

No church - but maybe a priest?

Short ceremony

Say grace before supper - but not the whole "Our Father who art Heaven..." More like a blessing of the food and for everybody being with you on your wedding day.

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I agree - the bottom line is that you and your FH should be comfortable in whatever ceremony you choose. My FH's family is Greek Orthodox but he and I aren't religious at all so there was no question that we wouldn't be doing a religious ceremony and got a lot of resistance to it at his family Christmas lol. But I've been to church with his family before and I'm always deeply uncomfortable. We found an officiant who does civil ceremonies (even though he's Catholic himself) and he specifically asked us if or how much mention of religion we wanted so it's completely customizable. But as a compromise, we're going to ask his grandmothers if they want to bless the rings so hopefully that relieves a bit of tension.

This was a hurdle my FH and I ran into as his family is catholic, and mine is not religious. We ended up deciding to do a civil ceremony because we agreed it might be uncomfortable for my family and I to be in the church, and I also would not have been allowed to have a full catholic service at the one church we were looking so it felt pointless. You two have to do whats right for you guys, and though it is important to think about your family, it's not their day.

View quoted message Short. I’m not catholic but my FH is so we aren’t allowed a full mass.

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A shorter ceremony or a full traditional?

View quoted message Thanks Amanda! I am opting out of the Holy communion too. How about the sermon? I'm not sure if I can opt out of that. I will have to talk to our officiant again

I’m not religious neither is my family.
im doing a ceremony in a church for my in-laws. Do what is right for you that’s all I can say.

We arent reglious folks either. My fiance pretty much has no religion actually.

I have all my sacraments, and he has 2 of the 3.

We are going to still get married at a Roman Catholic Church, however, we will only be having a 30 minute ceremony.

Because of my fiance, we are opting out of the holy communion and only having the actual ceremony and 2 prayers.

So everyone wins, it's in a church, it has some God in it, but not a full 1 hour church event!

Maybe you should look into church's that are willing to do that for you!